This, again?!

Kiptopeke State Park
I’ve already done this. This path is not new. I’ve walked this road and conquered it….so why am I here? Why this, again?! I want to scream. I want to claw out of this body.

“The longer you resist, the longer you spin in this energy of confusion,” my quiet inner voice responds.

“But, but, but…,” I bite my lip to avoid releasing the torrent of sadness I am just now realizing was still being held somewhere in the deep recesses of my being.

“If you’ve got this, then there’s no reason to resist it. You know what to do. Get quiet and go within,” the still quiet voice continues, “You’ve left a stone unturned on that path and it’s time to turn it over. The longer you wait, the longer you resist, the more energy you spin in confusion. You’ve got this!”

Deep down, I know all too well that if I continue to let this go, that the opportunity for release will only continue to present itself to me again and again. And again.

Reluctantly, while the dam breaks and the sadness bursts forth, forming an ocean of tears on my pillow, I pull my body up against gravity. I slowly and begrudgingly move into my meditation pose. It is there that I begin to surrender into the quiet darkness within, just as that small inner voice instructed me to do.

It is in the darkness that I travel the familiar path to the room of my third eye. The last bit of resistance is experienced as I open into the chakra of my heart. The last vestige of self-induced pain slips quietly away as I open more fully into love. It is here, in that very moment, that I forgive and I release myself from bondage. I forgive myself. I love myself again. I allow myself to love the part of me that caused my own suffering.

With each glorious moment that I spend here, I untangle and further dismantle more and more of the tangled web of deception. I release the lies that others told me about myself. I let go of the shame. Another breath and the guilt begins to melt away, also.

Once my surrender is complete I can see, feel, smell, taste and fully experience again the sweet nectar of the Universe. “I am Love,” the nectar reminds me. I am part of everything and everything is part of me.

I remind myself that it is within the surrender that I am Free. Next time, I tell myself, I will not resist.

Or will I?

Namaste.

3 thoughts on “This, again?!

Add yours

  1. Letting go, again and again, 10,000 times, “not me”, “not mine”. Letting go the big, the small, the inconsequential, all relative: that which hurts in this moment is huge beyond measure!

    I know of no greater miracle than simple attention and letting go.

    Metta and virtual hugs. ^_^

    Like

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

LoveIsConfusing

"Love Is Confusing but we'll figure this out together"

ROCKY ROAD FAMILY

Our small family living in a 5th wheel following Dads work as a rock fall technician... what could go wrong?

Damon Ashworth Psychology

Helping people flourish

Set Sail

Lets share a journey

The Dolly Mama

HEART TO HEART...hope and healing for our hearts (with a little humor along the way)

How I Lost My Chains

I've Learned The Most Unlearning Everything I've Ever Known

ignite with Thato

Unleash your Greatness

Write your Destiny

The Writer's world

iamacanaryinacoalmine

Reflections on transcending my diagnosis of a mental illness...

Healing Your Heart!

A manual for the life within!

Madly In Love With Me

loving ourselves to be free

GoodMorningGal

Luminous living. Creativity blooming.

Peacock Poetry

by Sam Allen

The Seeds 4 Life

Seeds of Inspiration, Wisdom, and Positivity

The Naga

Critical. Crazy. Catastrophic.

INSPIRE

"Together, one mind, one life at a time, let's see how many people we can impact, encourage, empower, uplift and perhaps even inspire to reach their fullest potentials."

Brent Harvey

The Leading Man

%d bloggers like this: