Being a superhero (to save myself)

Photo credit: © Stokkete from Dreamstime.com

I often saw myself as the damsel in distress. Perhaps it was because inside of me lived the “evil stepmother.” Regardless of how well I walked the line, there was always something I could have done better. On my face I wore a smile, while on the inside I belittled myself. Most of my life, from the time I was 10 years old, I wanted someone to save me.

In the past year, I have walked through the valley, over hot coals and sometimes broken glass; the broken, smoldering shadows of myself have haunted me. I called out to my knight in shining armor to save me. I looked for him on silver horses. I sought him in bars, online dating, in friends, in friends of friends, even passers-by. I seek no more.

After a series of events, I have discovered that if I want to be saved, then I need to be the one to rise up and save myself. While I have significantly improved my self-care (and self-love) over the past year, there are still holes in my dam. I see now that if I want to be saved, that I need to get my hands and feet dirty to dig myself out of my self-imposed pit of shit.

Yes, I still silently wait for Tony Stark. However, I am saving myself now, I’m not waiting for him to save me.

Yes, I still want a partner in crime fighting. Flying is fun, and it’s an experience that can be shared.

Yes, I still desire to be desired. Superheroes still like to be validated and vulnerable, too.

(Meanwhile, back at the ranch) Until Tony arrives, I am stepping into my power now. I am stepping into my own suit of armor, wielding my own shield and sword to slay the dragons of illusion that blur my vision of the truth. For it is only I that can determine what to cut and what to keep.

My armory includes daily work that includes:

The Four Agreements (especially #4: Always do my best)

The Simple Prayer of St. Francis

Constant Prayer as needs arise

Constant grounding and severing of “cords”

Daily meditation and mini-meditations throughout the day

Physical Activity

Journaling: Gratitude and Joy as well as “de-stressing”

Listening to music that makes my heart sing (and makes me sing)

Writing

Eating (mostly) healthy for me foods (this, I believe, differs by person)

Weekly/monthly work that includes:

Spiritual Counseling

Dancing

Self-help books (currently: Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter Levine)

Sharing my healing process with others

Please join me in being your own superhero! Let’s fly!

Namaste.

Photo credit: © Stokkete from Dreamstime.com

4 thoughts on “Being a superhero (to save myself)

Add yours

    1. Thank you, again!
      Playing on the polyamory thread, must I limit myself to just one? Lol.
      In thinking this question over, I definitely
      prefer the superheroes with a dark aspect. Stark, Wayne. Even anti-heroes like Loki, and now Kylo Ren are appealing.
      As a younger girl it was Luke Skywalker, Capt America and Superman. Perhaps this reflects my shift in awareness to one that is more realistic? IDK, it will require more introspective reflection. =)

      Liked by 1 person

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