Being a superhero (to save myself)

Photo credit: © Stokkete from Dreamstime.com

I often saw myself as the damsel in distress. Perhaps it was because inside of me lived the “evil stepmother.” Regardless of how well I walked the line, there was always something I could have done better. On my face I wore a smile, while on the inside I belittled myself. Most of my life, from the time I was 10 years old, I wanted someone to save me.

In the past year, I have walked through the valley, over hot coals and sometimes broken glass; the broken, smoldering shadows of myself have haunted me. I called out to my knight in shining armor to save me. I looked for him on silver horses. I sought him in bars, online dating, in friends, in friends of friends, even passers-by. I seek no more.

After a series of events, I have discovered that if I want to be saved, then I need to be the one to rise up and save myself. While I have significantly improved my self-care (and self-love) over the past year, there are still holes in my dam. I see now that if I want to be saved, that I need to get my hands and feet dirty to dig myself out of my self-imposed pit of shit.

Yes, I still silently wait for Tony Stark. However, I am saving myself now, I’m not waiting for him to save me.

Yes, I still want a partner in crime fighting. Flying is fun, and it’s an experience that can be shared.

Yes, I still desire to be desired. Superheroes still like to be validated and vulnerable, too.

(Meanwhile, back at the ranch) Until Tony arrives, I am stepping into my power now. I am stepping into my own suit of armor, wielding my own shield and sword to slay the dragons of illusion that blur my vision of the truth. For it is only I that can determine what to cut and what to keep.

My armory includes daily work that includes:

The Four Agreements (especially #4: Always do my best)

The Simple Prayer of St. Francis

Constant Prayer as needs arise

Constant grounding and severing of “cords”

Daily meditation and mini-meditations throughout the day

Physical Activity

Journaling: Gratitude and Joy as well as “de-stressing”

Listening to music that makes my heart sing (and makes me sing)

Writing

Eating (mostly) healthy for me foods (this, I believe, differs by person)

Weekly/monthly work that includes:

Spiritual Counseling

Dancing

Self-help books (currently: Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter Levine)

Sharing my healing process with others

Please join me in being your own superhero! Let’s fly!

Namaste.

Photo credit: © Stokkete from Dreamstime.com

Published by Tiffany

Writing out my thoughts has helped me to gain a new perspective of myself. In sharing these writings, it is my hope to help others to better understand themselves. It is my belief that with each of us who chooses this path of greater understanding of thy self, that it inspires others to do the same. This building momentum is the force that drives me to share, for in my vulnerability, I find my strength. I believe that you can also find yours there. ~~~In reading some of my posts, you will see that growth is not always pretty. It is in breaking apart and coming undone that a seed sprouts and breaks free of its own captivity. It is also out of mud that the lotus blossoms. ~~~Please join me in seeing the beauty of growth within the deconstruction of our limiting beliefs. ~~T.C.

4 thoughts on “Being a superhero (to save myself)

    1. Thank you, again!
      Playing on the polyamory thread, must I limit myself to just one? Lol.
      In thinking this question over, I definitely
      prefer the superheroes with a dark aspect. Stark, Wayne. Even anti-heroes like Loki, and now Kylo Ren are appealing.
      As a younger girl it was Luke Skywalker, Capt America and Superman. Perhaps this reflects my shift in awareness to one that is more realistic? IDK, it will require more introspective reflection. =)

      Liked by 1 person

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