“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
― Anaïs Nin
Three days ago, I let you go…
For a moment maybe a few hours at least, I felt free. And then…
The seed of emptiness that was planted in yesterdays, shot up like a weed.
An unwanted vine in my garden.
It wrapped its thin silky fingers, little innocent-seeming tendrils, around the beautiful flowers I had planted in my moments of being free.
Three days ago, I let you go…Now:
I once again crave your presence.
I see where I have loved myself (and the world) not.
I see where I have turned away from love, in so many ways.
I see where I created the void that I just keep hoping you would find and fill.
However, the truth is that the void is my own, mine alone.
The truth is that it was never yours to fill.
So now I sit in the sweet stillness of my creation.
I sit to see where I can now choose to love, where once I chose to not.
I sit to embrace and love the nooks and crannies of the void, to begin to fill this pit.
I am grateful for the space.
I am grateful for the time.
I am grateful for the unfolding,
of myself for myself.
It’s not so selfish, as it sounds.
Photo Courtesy of Simon Howden at Freedigitalphotos.net