Feeling Betrayed

ID-100248233

It stings the eyes,
it burns the chest.
There is a disconnect
when one feels betrayed.

The moment comes when we feel that someone else did not honor us. Perhaps a boundary was overstepped, we were pushed too far. Or that the boundary was completely obliterated, as if it had never existed. I don’t know that there is much of a difference in how one feels compared to the other. Either way, there is a strong desire to escape.

It stings the eyes,
it burns the chest.
There is a disconnect
when one feels betrayed.

In allowing the blood stained waves to lap upon my shore, eating away at the sand under my feet, I begin to feel off-balanced. Wave after wave of sadness, anger, guilt, shame and the desire for vengeance keep me off of my center. I choose to sit still now, while the hot tears fall down my face, leaving a trails of pain from burning eyes.

Salt enters the wound
at its weakest point.
Burning moves up from
chest to the throat.

Sounds are no longer heard, felt or uttered. Sitting still in the red tide, allowing wave after wave to pass through my body. The pain peaks. Then I rise above the surface of the water. It is here that I begin to float.

The pain remains there
yet it affects me less.
The tears dry and
I find my footing.

What at one point felt intolerable now feels bearable. It is now that I can stand up as the tide recedes. I plant my right foot and then my left. I begin to place one foot in front of the other, almost as if I were a toddler; I need to focus on each step forward. I brush off the sand.

I leave the beach
alone and now stronger.
I take with me
a brand new perspective.

I turn around to see the sea. How different it looks when it is no longer engulfing me. How different I feel from atop the tall dune compared to being “in it.” Next time, I will be the wiser, less likely to fall prey…maybe.

Namaste.

Photo by ratch0013 at Freedigitalphotos.net

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