The Heart: To Love is to Breathe

When in the energy of love we feel light; we fly. We soar. Breathing can be effortless and pure. When the primal life force energy of Kundalini Shakti rises into the heart, it does so on wings of love. To afford our ascension into higher levels of consciousness, we need to open our hearts more and more fully into love. To love is to breathe. To breathe is to live.

Physically the heart pumps oxygen carrying blood to our tissues by balancing the pumping between lower to upper chambers. Similarly, the energetic element of the heart is air. Blood, love and air are required for life. Without blood, air, or love we die.

While our bodies may survive without love, on the inside we die; we fail to thrive. A living death. While we may not require the love of a lover to thrive, we must at least have love for ourselves.

Physically and energetically the heart is a vessel. When in balance, the heart carries the energy of love through feelings. Just as the heart pumps blood in and out of its chambers at an average resting rate of about 80 times per minute, we are not meant to hold onto our feelings. What we hold onto blocks us from love. This can be a great challenge to feel without holding on, or perhaps worse: blocking ourselves from feeling our feelings we block ourselves from love. 

What we choose to feel, we heal! “Feeling it” heals it by activating the heart. The language of the heart is feeling. When we block our feelings we block our healing.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
― Rumi

To open the vessel of our hearts to more love, it must be light as a feather; unburdened by shame, guilt, anger, sadness, etc. Through Alchemy, Meditation and Gratitude we can release our burdens.

In Ancient Egypt, Ma’at, the goddess of truth and justice, weighed the hearts of the dead against a solitary feather on the balance scales. Those whose hearts were light as a feather were granted access into the Kingdom of Osiris. Those who “failed” were immediately slain. Once again we see the association of the heart and love with air, flight/soaring (with the feather) and balance. Birds are often seen as messengers of love.

Anahata is the Sanskrit word that represents the heart chakra. It means unstruck, unbeaten, unhurt.

  • “I am that I am” – acceptance, compassion, love.
  • Emerald green 12-petaled Lotus flower
  • The central Merkab* demonstrates balance of the male and female energies and all four elements:
    • the divine feminine – downward facing triangle or chalice of Earth and water; the void
    • the divine masculine – upward facing triangle of fire and air, ascending to the Heavens
  • Sound is “Vong”

*The Merkab represents the vehicle for our Ascension. When we are balanced in our hearts and in the energy of love, we can fly on the wings of love into higher levels of consciousness.


When the heart is balanced, we breathe in love, we breathe in life. This supports us in the use of our voices (throat chakra), in our ability to speak and sing our truths. In so doing, we extend our love outwards to others. We can see the opposition of love is the use of our voices to harm or hurt others and ourselves.

When we are in our power at the level of the Solar Plexus, the fire of our passions rise up into the heart in the Ascension towards Heaven. When out of balance in our power, the fires do not produce enough heat to push the air of love upwards. Keeping us stuck, what misery.

So by breathing, by moving, and keeping the energy of our hearts and love flowing we can be balanced in our lives. This balance offers us the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven. By learning to release our burdens, we open the vessels of our hearts more fully, we gift ourselves flight.

The frequency of the energy of the heart is 528 Hz. Listening to music recorded at this frequency can help to open the heart more fully. YouTube has a vast collection.

HeartMath Institute has found that the heart has neural connections similar to the brain, allowing us to “think” separately from our hearts. They call this the heart-brain. There are more communication pathways moving upwards from the heart to the brain, than there are pathways moving downwards from the brain to the heart! Who is in charge?

Our hearts’ electromagnetic field is 60 times larger than the brain and this energy can be transferred from heart-to-heart.**

**From “The Energetic Heart is Unfolding

The Heart

This is the first in a series about the 7 major Chakras found in the body. Each area carries a different focus and being able to open more fully into each areas energy allows us to ascend into higher levels of consciousness.

Metta __/|\__

Featured Image from Google.

Heart Chakra graphic courtesy of Will at He does fantastic work, please check him out!

Vampire Skin

Look away.
Don’t see me
For who I am.
Your love is
like sun shining
On Vampire skin.

Searing flesh.


Image google

Living Betwixt: Being the Bridge

Here I explore my love for living in two different worlds; recognizing my near constant need for changes…

Born into life, lifeless. As I pushed through the canal of my birth, suddenly frozen was I.

For when the doctor slammed the mask over my mother’s face, forcing her against her will to a medicated delivery, the anesthesia paralyzed me in my path. A state that took me over 30 years to overcome!

Born on the first day of Virgo in 1975; the day of cusp betwixt her and Leo. I bridge her earthy rationality with his fiery personality.
The moon sign is the pisces fish.
Where water, changeability and emotionality prevail. As the lotus, finding comfort in the muddy waters.
“I contradict myself, therefore I am” was born that fateful Saturday in late August.

Born to a Christian mother and atheist father.
Her birthplace the rural mountains; the daughter of a tobacco farmer, she grew up in the land of red clay with an outdoor bathroom.
His birthplace a military city; the son of a successful ob/gyn and RN, his home one of the first to have a TV and air conditioning. Yet penny pinching and politically conservative; they hated The Kennedys.

Where he & his family were uber-rational, soft spoken, rarely emotional and loving, yet loved telling dirty jokes,
she was uber-emotional & sometimes loving; sometimes rational, her family was loud and sexually Uber-conservative. No joke telling here. Even though not rich, they shared freely with those more needy. Politically liberal.

At a young age, I learned to speak bi-lingual;
to talk and walk with one foot in his rational world,
the other in her emotional one;
often translating for them,
what the other was saying.

Then in grade school as everyone formed their cliques,
I could just as easily hangout with the punks, the jocks, the nerds, the preps, the no ones, sometimes the goths
the latter of  whom were often the most pretentious of them all; funny how the ostrasized so often become more ostentatious than their counterparts.

In the world of “The Breakfast Club,” I most identified with Allison portrayed by Ally Sheady (Amy, would you agree?).

In middle school I discovered the power and mystery of an all black wardrobe.
Feeling invisible and somewhat invincible.
Add the black leather biker jacket and combat boots in high school:
my external armor, my protection and isolation from you!
It hid my soft and sensitive core.

Being everyone’s counselor.
From my mother to the brother of a friend,
I kept your secrets and offered a different perspective for you,
even then.
A call to service even at a young age.
While I could easily listen to you,
you knew nothing of me.
I kept the richness of my inner worlds and everything else hidden,
even from my closest friends;
keeping so much that was shattered and broken from your view.

Even my grades I hid,
graduating in the top 10% of my class,
putting me in line for study at Virginia Tech.
now world renown for that awful day in April 2007.
Where so many young students were sent to heaven;
many young survivors left to live in hell. 

Once on campus,
I discovered with delight Ut Prosim “to serve” was our motto,
I knew I was in the right place.
The limestone Gothic architecture called to my soul.
I felt I was in another world just 5 hours away from home.
The me that was planted as a seed that day; now seems so far away.

Through college and grad school,
I sought the help of counselors to understand the mixed emotions of my body.
The suppression of feelings,
the expression of my soul,
being so bound up as a child,
I now know.
No one quite had the key to help me unlock the deep mysteries
I had buried in little jars within the sandy beaches in the landscape of my memories; locked away.

The call to service with the ability to speak two languages reinforced in PT school,
where we were graded on our ability to speak both medically
and in the patient’s tongue
to get the job done.
An indispensable trait once in the clinic,
with an uncanny ability to translate into a story complex medical concepts
in a way my clients could understand.
Often times, even to my own amazement.

It really is between the extremes that I enjoy to live and play.
Finding balance in my own way.
From crazy busy when I have my kids,
to quiet and calm (now, after the partying girl is mostly gone) when alone.
From a Prius to a Jeep Wrangler.
From loving the taste of sweet immediately followed by spicy or salty.
From the music that I enjoy, quiet to loud, loud to quiet, hard to soft and soft to hard. Often creating play lists (in an earlier life mixed tapes and CDs) that vary in tempo from song to song.
From crying alongside one client to laughing from the belly with the next.
From lying on the floor in the throws of the void, immediately followed by a flight into the cosmos.

From the couch (0.0) to less than 3 mos later completing a half-marathon (13.1), completing > 30 obstacle, mud and road races last year to push my envelope (watch it bend).

From being controlling to now learning to surrender; spiritually & sexually.

So here I stand now, a bridge between my professional degree and my spirituality. Guiding others to surrendering into their own femininity, and softness, both here and at work.
Helping to restore balance;
as I have learned through my experiences in the dark and the light.
A shaman, as it were. Gaining power from my pain and suffering. In turn, giving of my bittersweet lessons to others, in service.

Ut Prosim!

image: Google


What Many Miss with the Law of Attraction 

Many who practice the Law of Attraction often forget a few key components, what we resist persists. The pain is in the resistance. Allowing and surrendering heal us.  So many who are practitioners avoid the “void” feelings because they say feeling it will attract it. True! And not healing it keeps it in your energy field, too!

So many in the spiritual community focus on the rainbows and butterflies, resisting and ignoring the rain and the death of the caterpillar that must occur prior to the birth of the other.

Both negative and positive emotions have “charges.” These charges attract like charges. So when we carry fear, knowingly or unknowingly, we attract fear into our lives. It is merely our soul’s attempt to fully experience the thing that we missed in our previous lessons. So when we don’t fully heal from something it stays in our field as a charge. It produces energy and it attracts that energy to us.

To heal, we must feel. We must walk through the valley of the shadows of death. Once we gain neutrality to that event in how we feel, emote and behave, then we decrease the pull of attraction of those experiences to us.

We may still see the things we feared after obtaining neutrality, yet now we can view them as the witness. We may also see these events unfold so that we can do our part to help to shepherd and guide others through the pass; leading them to safety based on our own experiences. Another reason for seeing the events is to show us our own personal growth. In all cases, following the activation of the witness to that charge or vibration, we are no longer (or are minimally) triggered.

I also personally find that by being more neutral that something better and more beautiful comes along; often times better beyond my wildest dreams.

So remember, the pain is in the resistance. What we resist persists. What persists we attract back to ourselves. This applies for the positive, too. We create resistance when we push for something to happen.

Release and surrender are in the allowing; removing the charge neutralizes the negative impact to us. As we grow, we can help others grow.

May we all grow into our greater neutrality.

Funeral Pyre

Tonight I’m building a funeral pyre.
Tonight I am taking out the shell
of a person who once lived here.
Her time has long gone,
Her needs have expired.
Now it’s time to build a fire.

Her final release to the
Heavens will light
the land this night.

The sparks will shoot high
Into the night sky.
The heat & smoke escaping,
Carrying to the Gods above
Her pieces; once broken.

Leaving behind the ashes to
Reunite with the earth
From whence they came.
Tomorrow, reborn
Sweet balance,
restored again.


Image: Google

I’m doing my best to keep to 2 posts/day. Maybe it will be 2 long or 3 short at most…I have a serious backlog of work to publish. While I’ve turned down the fire, it still burns brightly and intently.

The Presence of Buddha


M: “So how tall are you, anyway?,” he asked as I ly naked under the covers. His hands performing releases to my left thigh.

T: “Five-foot-eight,” I replied.

M: “Oh, that’s it? I thought you were taller, at least five-foot-ten.”

T: “Really, why do you think that is? I hear that often.”

M: “It’s your presence.” pausing, “At 333 pounds, most people think I’m taller than six-feet.”

T: later, when leaving for the evening, I saw that he was indeed only six feet. Wow, I couldn’t believe it! Now I could see why so often people think I’m bigger than I am, too…. 

M=Massage therapist




“Belly Laughter”
(Same session as above)

We were talking about the anatomy of the muscles, bones and nerves of the pelvic floor region being the same in both males and females (minus the reproductive organs, and extra opening/hiatus for females). The room was darker than usual, the sun having set hours ago.

T: “So, you see, it’s all basically the same, minus the organs.”

M: “Yes, but you cannot make anything dance.”

T: immediately smiling slyly and broadly, probably audibly: “I guess it depends on if I’m the snake or the snake charmer.”

M: without missing a beat he belted out a most thunderous and delicious belly laugh. in that moment, I felt I was in the presence of Buddha. Even in the dark room I could see him throwing his head back projecting his belly laughter to the heavens through his silhouette.

T: Heart glowing, face beaming, laughter moving upwards from my toes and belly; feeling how fully he appreciated my joke. Perhaps this is part of why my sessions always last longer than scheduled…



Numbers: The Erasure

“three standard deviations”

i am the normal
to your standard deviation of 3.
i love your flirtations, yet
they trigger a lot of “unworthy” in me.

i fear your love,
your affection,
your adoration.
like water poured on rock,
all is lost to evaporation.



since before we separated,
parted in the night,
i’ve been trying to erase you.
all images removed from each
social media site.
wishing it were so easy
to do this in my mind.

in letting go of the good
and the bad memories,
i see now that i was
also working to erase me.
twenty years of my life

now i do my best to
embrace it all, so i can
once again

Last night I felt the cold, again

last night i felt the cold again
it reminded me of how cold i felt in hot-assed August when i decided to ask for a divorce.
usually preferring to sleep in the nude, 

once his energy withdrew,

all i could feel was cold at night,

when not nude.
the same happened to me overnight,

the house was warm for winter,

yet under my piles of covers,

all i could do was shiver.
i miss the warmth of a loving body

next to mine.

and knowing someone is

thinking of me, regardless

if there’s sunshine.
last night i felt the cold

to my bones. 

no fleece sheets, 

nor down comforter,

nor skin & fur of sheep

could keep me warm.
perhaps it’s the withdrawal

of my fire, 

cooling it to prevent

complete burnout.
i can only guess,

but in my body and head

it’s a cold place to be

my bed.

Reblog: Wise Words not Followed

The following piece was read by one of my best friends at my wedding. Interesting that the words “drink not from one cup” went through my mind just the other day, sparking this memory. To read this post later meant it could not be ignored.

Basically, the priest suggested that each of our mothers pour wine from different decanters into one goblet. The two of us would then take a sip from the goblet to symbolize our union. Immediately after that, my friend read this piece. I coughed, audibly. I don’t hide some things well… and such a detail overlooked by this Virgo, unheard of…ha! (May I never plan another wedding, planning was hell!)

I wonder sometimes if we had followed the advice here if things would have gone differently. Or maybe what we had was all there was meant to be. We do have two lovely children together, and some wonderful (and no so wonderful) memories. The bitterness has mostly faded…mostly.

Image taken on that day…my strained smile, I still am not a fan of being in front of the camera. The white dress is missing; I didn’t feel I deserved it. Would have worn black, if I could have gotten away with it…

a perfect couple, according to kahlil gibran –

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”
― Kahlil Gibran

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