In reading through Parts I and II (one last time) the night before the series was to be published I was struck down by my own question: How bad is it, really, to seek attention? So here we are now, Part III.
In this post, I ask myself and you, the reader, where is the boundary? Here are my thoughts as they unraveled.
Are we all not here on this Earth to learn to be connected, interconnected, interdependent? If we were here to learn how to live independently, then why are there so many people?
Sex, a very basic need, is usually far better with someone else than alone. It is also as a cause for all of the people.
Is the problem then, in the need? As a society, we often turn our backs on those who are considered “needy.” Whether it’s from poverty or from “needing” too much: attention, affection, emotional reinforcement, and (fill in the blank).
It would seem more appropriate and more easily understood to say that my desire is for attention vs saying that I need attention. How strange that when we need something, that its acquisition is more likely to remain elusive. Need implies a lack of a necessity. Desire implies “nice to have.”
Doing a search for quotes regarding attention seeking, I found this:
“The hunger for attention is an enemy of self-love.”
―
I can see how the word hunger makes this a “needy need.” Would the quote be just as true if desire were used instead of hunger, I wonder?
“Seek respect not attention.”
― Ben Bereng
Now this one confuses me, as I thought respect was earned; not sought. Maybe he’s beseeching the seeker to seek for what is “right” vs what is “wrong?”
Perhaps it is my desire for a male companion that can meet me where I am that is unmet, so I seek attention where it is safe? Or better yet, by seeking attention where it is safe, I can avoid the disappointment in still being single? Oh, I feel like such a young grasshopper now. (folding psychology arm-chair up and putting it away)
I’m still very much working through this one and not able to see above the duality. Please share any insights.
Namaste.
Photo by winnond at freedigitalphotos.net
Attention Seeking: Part I
The Fairy Tale of Storybook Romance: Seeking Attention Part II
Now I Begin to See: Attention Seeking Part IV
unfiltered from the heart 
As I read this, I think to about Maslow’s hierarchy. From a physiological perspective sex is a basic foundational need. At a higher level moving towards self actualization, we need intimacy and social connection in general. When people are isolated and deprived from others, we go crazy. No shame in needing a man or seeking attention when that need is not being met. Fulfilling these basic human needs allow us to move towards self-actualization and there is nothing bad about that. 🙂
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Thank you! The social sciences are interests for me, as well. I’m curious if you’ve received formal training or if you are just an avid reader; maybe both.
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I am as you once referenced in your writing “an arm-chair psychologist” ha! I enjoy psychology as a tool for trying to understand the reason behind things. Read a few book here and there…may grab a psychology today magazine for a flight or by special edition magazines focused on how we “think”. Fascinating reads with some utility. 🙂
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