Spiritual Setback: “Hello Darkness, my old friend…”

For the spiritual aspirant
At first it can be puzzling
To understand that there
Are times of what feels like setbacks,
Flesh burning,
Earth scorching,
Dead in tracks
Spiritual blowback.

With each length of growth into the light
There is a subsequent length of digging into the void.
Fear this not, my friend,
This is merely the inevitable balance
Of the delicate equation.
For the greater the height of our euphoria,
The greater the depth of our seeming pain .

It can be a challenge when it happens,
At first to understand
The disorientation of the heart
When a depth of
Bloody murder,
Shame and blame,
Are thrust into your beating heart with
Unworthiness at to the Fucking hilt
Of the long sword.
It may threaten to topple you in half.

As soon as you get over the
Shockwave of the fuck me,
What just happened Bomb
(I imagine it must be what it
Felt like to be in Pearl Harbor
On that fateful day in 1941:
Beautiful Sunday in paradise
And then bombs?)

Fear not
The searing
Return instead
To the alchemy
that heals,
Breathing in,
Breathing out,
Focusing on and
Sitting in the pain.
Feeling it.
Yes, it sucks for it’s light
Just in stark contrast.
And heart
wrenchingly painful.
That fucking unworthiness
Gets me every mother fucking
God damn time.

Keep your head up,
My dear,
It just means you’re
Getting closer
To the core,
The heart of the matter
That prevents your final
Everything felt in the muck
Can feel so real.
It is merely the shadow that blocks
The fullest expression of your light.

How long you choose to stay
In the darkness
Is up to you.


Photo by voraorn at freedigitalphotos.net

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