Venus Rising: Finding my Voice

 

Boticelli’s “The Birth of Venus”

 

This week, I had the most beautiful experience in a group meditation. The chanting we were doing was to help us to raise our vibrations, The Kundalini, or life force, prior to receiving a Oneness Blessing. 

 

It was a long day, and though still quite energized, I almost begged off attending the meditation. The drive was 30 minutes; in the “wrong” direction from my home.

As I followed the directions on the navigation app, each turn brought a greater opening in my crown. I have never felt such energy moving through this area, inside or outside of meditation. I could feel the energy radiating outward from the parietals. My third eye hummed silently. I knew this was where I needed to be.

With a late start, I sat, almost already in trance as people softly exchanged words. It was hard to keep my eyes open. After flying on high energy earlier in the day, I knew I needed to come back down for the meditation to be effective.

Soon the chanting began and I listened with envy to the long held chants, directed to the root chakra (the energy of belonging; the right to exist). I struggled to hold the tones longer, as my voice faded and crumbled more and more quickly than the chant before.

I pulled up on my pelvic floor muscles in an attempt to squeeze out another ounce of breath. My voice was immediately silenced, my mouth open, no sound could be emitted. Symbolic of my silent screams & pleas. I was humbled, most definitely.

This, I thought inwardly, was my history of denying my right to be. This was my history of blunting my voice, holding myself back – in all ways.

With the next series of chants, directed to the sacral chakra (the energy of desire; the right to want), I chanted alongside of the others; this time, more surrendered, more relaxed. I allowed myself to be vulnerable, sinking into my seat, into my flesh and into the moment.

After several iteriations of the sanskrit word, Svadhistana, I began to hear one voice rising above the others. “What a beautiful voice,” I thought to myself, “what lovely harmonics. Maybe one day I can myself do that.” I was grateful for the clear, unwavering strength of the voice.

With my eyes closed, I knew not whose it was. Appreciating the beauty and clarity of the voice, I began to feel a rumbling in my body. When I could feel the resonance vibrating in my toes, my sinuses and nose, I realized with certainty, “Holy Fuck! That is me!” It almost broke my attention to the meditation, but I remained steady.

It was then that I felt an ancient wisdom, a knowing; it was showing me how to breathe, how to hold the tip of my tongue firmly, yet gently without forcing, to the roof of my mouth. In my sweet surrender, my pelvic and thoracic diaphragms were more relaxed – and alive at the same time, moving in harmony.

Beginning the chant with my mouth open, tongue moving, then gently closing my lips, barely together during the long held “mmmmm,” I was able to extend the sounds longer, sometimes longer than the one leading the chanting. (whose voice was becoming harder to hear).

Basking in the glow of this beauty for the next 5 chakras, I kept seeing images of the green heart chakra. It would later that evening become part of my next post: Heart Meditations to Heal Thyself.

After the chanting, and the Blessing Givers blessing themselves, (hear the words, “Healer, Heal Thyself”), each of the 5 blessing givers took turns gently touching the crowns, and then the area of the parietals of each attendee; blessing each of us with a greater sense of peace and calming, to help to silence the “monkey mind.”

We then performed a guided meditation to spread the love, connection and healing; moving further and further outwards from our own selves as our centers, and then outwards in ever increasing arcs like the Golden Spiral: to the room, to the region, to the planet, the galaxy, the Universe. [Soundtrack: Lateralus: “spiral out, keep going.”]

Following this amazing experience, one of the blessing givers, a man whom I had never met, made a Bee-Line for me. “When I touched your crown,” he said, “I received a great healing. I’ve never experienced anything like it before.” I thanked him immensely for sharing. And he replied, “No, thank you! You healed me!”

It was not until later that I remembered, that as he touched my head, I was rather excited to have him be the last blessing giver. He was the balance of the previous 4 female blessing givers. I was grateful for his presence as he gently touched me. In my gratitude, I helped him to heal as he helped to heal me.

With all of the work I have done here on WP, I never realized how deeply it has been helping me to heal myself my voice, and to accept my desires. I have conquered (through surrender) demons that blocked me from my desire, my right to be here, my right to express myself, my right to feel and to love…and be loved.

This meditation showed me how much I have done, by surrendering my judgments and shame, in just a short month.

This morning as I walked out to my Jeep, there was a greater appreciation of beauty in the sound of the birds singing. As I drove by, the light glistened off of the lake with a great clarity. “Yes, today I am a new woman,” I thought to myself as I drove to work.

I am so grateful to you for reading this. I hope that you may take something from this that helps you in your journey.

~~~

There was great synchronicity in seeing one of the new comers from the meditation today at work! I thought she looked familiar at the blessing; she works on the same hospital campus. I had hesitated to post this, and when I saw her I knew I needed to share!

Namaste

Alohaleya had a similar and beautiful experience this week, please check her post out.

For more information on Chakras, see http://iarp.org/chakra-basics/

6 thoughts on “Venus Rising: Finding my Voice

Add yours

  1. What a wonderful and enlightening experience. It’s been a long time since I’ve done a group meditation. Clearly there are many benefits to opening up your heart and mind and you were open to them. I enjoyed your post immensely.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Miriam, I am so grateful for your words of support! It was with some self-consciousness that I pressed publish. =)
      Yes, there is definitely a synergy to group meditations. It’s almost like a spark that travels from one person to another.
      I’ve received and performed Healing Touch and Reiki; Oneness Blessings are in a whole new league! If you can attend one, please do. Namaste!

      Liked by 2 people

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