Create me, Destroy me

Even as I see the theme
so clearly,
I resist its acceptance
with so much of my being.

The tears are stuck in
some parallel universe.
My heart grows heavy
with each breath.

How can I accept this?

You first came into my
consciousness on a
fateful day in May.
In messaging a friend,
auto correct gave to me
your name.

I looked you up and I was
so enthralled by your
magic. Your ability to
both create, as much as
destroy.
A divine balance.

I knew your energy well,
as I had (and still do)
use it daily for
transmutation;
alchemy.

However, now I see that
it is your archetype that I seek,
Lord Shiva.
Yours, the only name in all the categories.

For me,
right now,
I glow in the awareness,
and defy to grow
in this resistance,
it is a painful place to be.

To heal me, out of love,

Not just to be mean:

you must first destroy me.

For me to begin anew,
I must surrender to your power.
I snarl in defiance.

I know the pain is
in the resistance.
The sweetness and peace
in the surrender.
Yet I cannot seem to muster
(or as it were, release)
the strength to let this go.

In being pulverized into
the elements of myself,
I can re-form into
a greater, and higher
rebirth.

Somehow, I was accepting
of your distant God,
but to see it is you who I seek.
I am, myself, to myself
beseeched!

Namaste.

This is a collage I created in 2015. The statue near the middle right is Lord Shiva. I did not consciously choose him, instead, he chose me…

Published by Tiffany

Writing out my thoughts has helped me to gain a new perspective of myself. In sharing these writings, it is my hope to help others to better understand themselves. It is my belief that with each of us who chooses this path of greater understanding of thy self, that it inspires others to do the same. This building momentum is the force that drives me to share, for in my vulnerability, I find my strength. I believe that you can also find yours there. ~~~In reading some of my posts, you will see that growth is not always pretty. It is in breaking apart and coming undone that a seed sprouts and breaks free of its own captivity. It is also out of mud that the lotus blossoms. ~~~Please join me in seeing the beauty of growth within the deconstruction of our limiting beliefs. ~~T.C.

7 thoughts on “Create me, Destroy me

      1. I totally understand. It took me years to get through my last heartbreak but it changed me forever. I got to the other side and am stronger than I’ve ever been in my life. And no one has that kind of power over me anymore. 🙂

        Like

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