losing myself to find myself

Holding on white-knuckled trying to control each aspect, each element of my ride, makes for a stressed-out, uncaring and hollow me. The feeling of being out of control, burnt out, weary.

Letting go, succombing, submitting and softening into this space of all knowing takes me out of the race, the need to control dissolves. Who I thought I was falls to the side. By losing myself, I find myself.

By letting go, I gain now a different sense of control. The irony is that the only thing I control, is submission, is surrendering, is the letting go.

Borrowing today from the Christian Stream of consciousness:

For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will save it. Luke 9:24

And from Maynard James Keenan, et al:

Lost again, Broken and weary, Unable to find my way, Tail in hand, Dizzy and clearly unable to, Just let this go

I am surrendering to gravity and the unknown, Catch me heal me lift me back up to the sun, I choose to live

Artwork Journey of the Wounded Healer

4 thoughts on “losing myself to find myself

  1. Interesting, but as a somewhat type-a, dominant male, I find losing control to be hard. In fact, despite the comment I left earlier, I think my biggest fear would be not being in control. Make sense?

    Liked by 1 person

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