I have both been dreading and looking forward to this. Mirror work in the past was painful at best. I hesitated rising this morning up out of my warm, comfy, soft bed. While lying there, I thought up in my head things I would say to myself. A bit scared of what was to come.
Once in front of the mirror fully clothed, I saw something different than I ever had before. The woman in the mirror looked back at me and smiled, genuinely. Perhaps it was some of the work I had done the day before, peeking into several places from which this body shame was born (Disentangling Body Shame releases 1/26/16). Perhaps it was my desire to stop seeing myself as ugly. I can guess it had to do with both.
Without missing a beat or even thinking about it, I disrobed. I began to appreciate the lines, sagging skin. Even as I write this, I am in disbelief. Maybe this is grace, something I often find when embarking on a new journey…
Next I grabbed the castor oil and began rubbing it into my dry winter skin. As I rubbed the oil into each body part, I thanked it for what it does for me. This seemed to help to unlock each parts greater beauty! This was not something I was planning.
Another interesting thing is that I noticed a different color in my eyes. Before I only saw ugly brown eyes, unless in a special light. Today, there were hues of red that I just adore.
I hope by sharing this that there is something in yourself that you can appreciate more today than in the past.
I recognize now how much I have taken my body for granted. Focusing on its perceived flaws (and hurt areas) instead of seeing the beauty of each part and me as a whole: The sagging skin around my belly where I carried my babies; The deep wrinkles on my neck & the brown spots that reveal my age. Today, I gave them all a little bit more love. Today, I gave myself a gift, too. A greater sense of freedom.
Today I recognized that I dress down, not just to hide my sexuality, but because I didn’t feel I deserved to look better!
I wonder if there’s something hiding in the shadows of your contempt for your own body?
Please share any comments, experiences or responses you have to this work. It really helps us all!
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