Last night I felt the cold, again

last night i felt the cold again
it reminded me of how cold i felt in hot-assed August when i decided to ask for a divorce.
usually preferring to sleep in the nude, 

once his energy withdrew,

all i could feel was cold at night,

when not nude.
the same happened to me overnight,

the house was warm for winter,

yet under my piles of covers,

all i could do was shiver.
i miss the warmth of a loving body

next to mine.

and knowing someone is

thinking of me, regardless

if there’s sunshine.
last night i felt the cold

to my bones. 

no fleece sheets, 

nor down comforter,

nor skin & fur of sheep

could keep me warm.
perhaps it’s the withdrawal

of my fire, 

cooling it to prevent

complete burnout.
i can only guess,

but in my body and head

it’s a cold place to be

my bed.
1/27/2016

Published by Tiffany

Writing out my thoughts has helped me to gain a new perspective of myself. In sharing these writings, it is my hope to help others to better understand themselves. It is my belief that with each of us who chooses this path of greater understanding of thy self, that it inspires others to do the same. This building momentum is the force that drives me to share, for in my vulnerability, I find my strength. I believe that you can also find yours there. ~~~In reading some of my posts, you will see that growth is not always pretty. It is in breaking apart and coming undone that a seed sprouts and breaks free of its own captivity. It is also out of mud that the lotus blossoms. ~~~Please join me in seeing the beauty of growth within the deconstruction of our limiting beliefs. ~~T.C.

19 thoughts on “Last night I felt the cold, again

  1. You know, I have never been divorced or anything of the sort, however, I was in a long and committed relationship for two and a half years. When it came to a tumbling end and I had fallen into depression of feeling no love or warmth around me – this is exactly how I felt. There is something so cold feeling about being alone and no longer having that warm body engulfing you after a long day keeping you from pouring tears and just assuring you everything is okay. This is simply written yet in a beyond relatable way.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s been two and a half years for me. I still feel lonely at times. Mostly when the kids aren’t here.
    But then I remember how I felt when he was in my bed, trying not to touch him, his energy so negative.
    It is a tough feeling. I still have no one to go to sleep next to, and wake up next to. But the person who sometimes shares my bed is so loving that he makes me forget that he doesn’t stay the night.
    Hang on, it gets better.
    XO

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Ah! I want to nitpick on your use of words. Being alone is different from being lonely πŸ˜‰
        But I’m glad to read that you are able to enjoy some of your alone time!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I see what you’re saying, I was not mixing the two. What I was meaning is that when I wrote the post I felt far more lonely, not the usual amount that I feel daily. I’m aware of the difference. Thank you for checking!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Sometimes, you can be alone and happy to be, not lonely in the least. If this life is new to you, you may not yet realise it when it happens.
        It is a hard step you took, asking for divorce, but it *does* get better!

        Liked by 1 person

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