Reblog: Wise Words not Followed

The following piece was read by one of my best friends at my wedding. Interesting that the words “drink not from one cup” went through my mind just the other day, sparking this memory. To read this post later meant it could not be ignored.

Basically, the priest suggested that each of our mothers pour wine from different decanters into one goblet. The two of us would then take a sip from the goblet to symbolize our union. Immediately after that, my friend read this piece. I coughed, audibly. I don’t hide some things well… and such a detail overlooked by this Virgo, unheard of…ha! (May I never plan another wedding, planning was hell!)

I wonder sometimes if we had followed the advice here if things would have gone differently. Or maybe what we had was all there was meant to be. We do have two lovely children together, and some wonderful (and no so wonderful) memories. The bitterness has mostly faded…mostly.

Image taken on that day…my strained smile, I still am not a fan of being in front of the camera. The white dress is missing; I didn’t feel I deserved it. Would have worn black, if I could have gotten away with it…

a perfect couple, according to kahlil gibran – http://www.tunisiajolyn.com/2016/01/27/a-perfect-couple-according-to-kahlil-gibran/

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”
― Kahlil Gibran

13 thoughts on “Reblog: Wise Words not Followed

  1. I keep thinking how your photo shows so much about you. It’s not just the pretty girl in formal attire. It’s that you chose a dress that wasn’t white for your wedding. It’s that in that photo you look more like the bridesmaid than the bride. As though you wouldn’t be comfortable in your own skin if you were portrayed as the image of the traditional bride. As if you were too shy or ashamed to be the center of attention and stand out the way a bride does on her day. You played it all down. An attempt to diminish your glow.

    Of course I’m probably just projecting here and shouldn’t make such assumptions but I know how I felt on each of my wedding days and we are so very similar.

    Though I did wear the traditional white to both. I had a private secluded ceremony for my 2nd but we threw a huge reception where I ran the show and made it perfect. I was the perfect hostess, it was the best party, and to this day people still talk about how fun it was. But I artfully made it all about the party, the food, the sufficiently flowing drink, the entertainment… All attention and focus elsewhere. How I was comfortable with it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Amy, you hit the nail on the head. I tried on so many GD white dresses. I couldn’t recognize myself. My predominant wardrobe color is black. So dark plum was more comfortable.
      It took me years to wear bright colors. Then it was only solids. Crazy prints, even if beautiful: no way. I’m shifting into prints.
      Basically my m.o. has been to be camo’ed. Either by blending in or not being seen. Not being seen or heard was my safety as a child. Now I’m breaking free of all of that. Shedding that old skin. Learning to love the skin I’m in.
      Re the wedding:
      I also threw a great party. My grandmother who never put on airs said it was the best wedding she had ever been to. I was floored.
      Also, if you knew me in person, you would see there is a great awkwardness in my smile. I was incredibly uncomfortable being the only one in front of the camera. Still am, just not as bad.
      Yes, Amy, you probably know other things about me … from your own experiences.
      Thank you for writing! Always a pleasure to read your views!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Pretty sure we’re twins separated at birth.

        Also predominantly black wardrobe. Mix in whites, tans and red hues. Only in recent years have I embraced patterns but I still have very few. I’m conservative in nature so my choice of attire is reflective. But I’m also drawn to black for some reason. Part of this is knowing what you look best in as well. What is flattering to you. With my coloring the jewel tones are best. The dark solid colors are more figure flattering, etc.

        Can’t wait to learn more of what we have in common!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Amy, I had the same thought re being twins several times this week. The world might end if we ever meet in person. There’s a sci-fi term I can’t think of…
        And yes, I have a similar experience with jewel tones. Ha!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Like I told you earlier, I call it the way I see it. Maybe I was biased a bit, cause I understood your personality completely before I saw your picture. So I precluded you would be very very pretty and I was so pleased to find that I was not wrong!

        Well you said you sported a strained smile. If that was a strained smile your heartfelt smile or laughter would be joyous to anyone around you.

        God Bless You and Your Smile!
        me

        Liked by 1 person

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