So last week I embarked on the journey of mirror work. Something I have hated in the past because I prefer perfection and am a romantic idealist. Seeing myself in the mirror means my eyes immediately pin point all of my flaws. Things most others probably do not see. And yes, I see irony in my healing process looking at each aspect of my body as a different part instead of seeing myself as a whole (my end goal). I am more than my body and the sum of my parts.
So the first day of mirror work I chronicled well here. The next day was similar with the use of oil and lovingly applying it to my skin while I gave gratitude to my body.
Day 3, I believe it was (absolutely, it was), I had a bit of an interesting twist, shall we say. TMI Alert: stop reading this if you don’t want to know too much about me. First some background: since my separation and divorce, I have developed quite a habit of “taking care of my needs” in the morning. Particularly after writing (and reading) here on WP. So, in running behind on my routine, I decided to combine mirror work with “taking care of business,” (TCB). It was fucking amazing!
I’ve always avoided looking in mirrors during sex. Even eye contact was often too much for me, though I truly desire to have a tantric sex experience, it scares the fuck out of me. Unbroken eye contact just sitting across from someone is hard enough, add sex, passion, pleasure and pain to that and I’m looking away; I’m out. Heck, it’s only recently that I could keep my eyes open, even with masturbation.
Ok, so back to the mirror work. It was incredibly erotic and … healing to see myself both receiving pleasure (as the giver) as well as to see myself climax; something I have never seen. I was able to maintain eye contact with my reflection. It was so hot, I couldn’t wait to do it again that night.
I can’t say that I’ve done this everyday, I missed a few days (a fatal mistake) but every time since then TCB has been in front of the mirror. It’s awesome. If you haven’t tried this, I highly recommend it. The next level up for me is going to be in front of the full length mirror and not just the bathroom vanity.
This is such a trifecta. You see, vanity has been such an issue for me as have body and sexual shame. This work has propelled me forward in my work spiritually and personally.