This is the first of a 2 part series that I penned in October 2015 and was too afraid to publish. Both of these are written to my Lover, a man I have sensed through the Ethers. Any references to others is unintentional as I added no-thing, only taking away a handful of words that were contradictory. Though I so wanted to edit more, I left it pure.
I would have denied my submissive nature then…
Part I: The Seduction (2015.10.15)
Within the spell of your words, I fall in love with you again and again (and again). Your words reveal to me a man whose passion could nearly crush me under its weight, taking me to my very edge, pushing me to expand further by sprouting more branches to carry the weight, without breaking nor feeling burdened. I long for this expansion throughout all levels of my being. In return, I open myself to reveal my inner sanctuary to you, exposing my softness, the fullness of my femininity in the faith that you will find solace there and desecrate it not.
Your words move me to find my own. In hearing you speak your truth, I give myself further permission to speak my own. The truth you speak wraps ‘round me like a warm blanket in the chilly night air. You seduce me with your naked truth, pulling me like a magnet into your being. Through your words, I can feel what you feel, taste what you taste and experience life as a man. I feel you. I see you. And at some levels, I am you.
When I look upon you, I see a man who is tender and caring, offering himself up in sacrifice, in the hopes of being spared; as being sacred and thus adored by a woman who has eyes to see him for all that he is. By being vulnerable, you reveal your true inner strength.
You are a man who can conduct himself without the need for rules, edicts and contracts. A man who can discern when to push forward, stay still or turn away. Respecting me and my intuition when my actions may seem to work in opposition to yours. Knowing, deep down, that if we are meant to be together that we will, and that part of loving and living together also means gifting one another the space to breathe and live apart some, too.
The seduction continues as we share with one another our understandings and teachings of Universal Truths. You speak to me in a language that few can understand, much less live. In our play together, we show each other new ways of being, of living, of loving. We expose our emotional bellies, becoming increasingly vulnerable in our quest for peeling away the untruths so that we can remember our oneness with and love for all beings.
It is at this moment where I realize I no longer need yearn for the presence of a man at my side who is fierce, yet tender, a Warrior at peace in his own masculinity, as you are him. A man who is King in his own right, who is not intimidated by my tender, yet fierce, Warrior Goddess femininity. A man who both supports me, and allows me to support him.
Together we reach heights, and sometimes lows, that would remain untraveled if left to our own devices. We climb peaks, lending one another a hand when the craggy rocks try to stop our progress. In contrast we trudge through the thickest muck, that threatens to suck us in, stealing our very breath. It is here that we continue supporting each other by sifting through the mud to separate the truths from the untruths, to rediscover the pieces of our souls that we had at one time left behind. In traveling in the the space between these extremes, we find comfort and peace in each other’s presence and even apart; comfort in knowing we are fully supported even when we feel our most vulnerable. We both know that there exists no lotus without the mud, no rainbows without the rain. Emotionally, and mentally, we create a support system; a means to softly land, or remain afloat, wherever we may go.
To be continued…..