it took so long to appear,
to bubble up to the surface,
i was beginning to think i had cleared it.
when sadness gripped my heart
in a way it never had before.
in writing through the sadness,
i soon found beneath it
a mother load of rampant bitterness.
breathing, doing my best to avoid
my avoidant behaviors (yea, don’t ask).
literally, doing my best to keep grounded
while feeling so completely confounded
in my newly uncovered feelings,
meanwhile dealing with my son yelling, screaming
(I can no longer remember the reasoning),
while my daughter asked me,
repeatedly how to spell something.
hard to be able to split
my energy between three
simultaneously held needs.
alone in being the provider
of meeting said needs.
digging deeper, i gain
a greater understanding
of the bitterness in my heart.
why could he not have walked
with me further along this path?
so much suffering spared,
i easily thought, directing my anger
at him…but not for long, as i
quickly turned the blade to myself.
why could I have not chosen better,
done better, been better than this?
a thought path chosen, not helping
my heart to become unfrozen.
soon my inner vision returns
to me: without being seemingly
alone on this path, it says quietly,
your strength would have been
a story unknown, untold,
maybe one to never unfold.
it is now, that the
bitterness releases its grip.
may i learn to keep
from the slope of the slip,
staying in touch daily
with my feelings…
2016.02.21
Namaste
__/|\__
Metta
Image:
Google
unfiltered from the heart 
Heartfelt and intense.
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Thank you, Miriam! Fellow writer of the heart. =)
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Beautiful comment
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To a beautiful spirit! =)
You’ve been so supportive and an inspiration, Miriam! I appreciate your comments and writing. Have a great day!
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Such a beautiful thing to say, I’m humbled and truly happy to be here. Have a great day too.
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Heart smiles!
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Exquisite truth unfolded in these lines
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Rita, not nearly as exquisite as you are, my dear! Thank you for reading and commenting. Always lovely to hear from you! Much love, Tiffany
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Have a wonderful, inspired day my dear.
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You do the same, beautiful woman! ❤️ Tiffany
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such a lovely introspection and a beautiful poem. So many people are unwilling to examine their feelings but it’s so worthwhile.
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Thank you, Vic! It’s easy to write about after I stop all that resistance nonsense. I agree, it is worthwhile and sometimes I just fight it tooth and nail. =)
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We learn from the wrong choices we make.
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Yes, I agree. Well, at least hopefully! Sometimes it takes me a few rounds (or lifetimes, as it were) to get it. Thank you, Lee, for reading and commenting. Hope you have a great Monday! Warmly, Tiffany
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I’ve written before on these matters. It seduces to fingertips and precision of angle. Controlling the often uncontrollable urge and want.
Hugs.
Wonderfully crafted.
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Thank you, Annie! I appreciate your appreciation, humbly. ☺️ ❤️ Tiffany
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As always – wish you the best on your journey Tiffany – sunrise here with a brand new day – we do the best we can with it. 🙂
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Thank you, Wayne! It’s time to clear house of the old haunts. I know it sounds crazy to say that I’m already doing better. After writing and publishing this magical thing happens, clearing even more. I was able to start a lovely poem right after that….
Oh, that post I advised you to avoid publishes today at lunchtime. ❤️❤️❤️Tiffany
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Looking at the sunrise here – I see today as an opportunity instead of something to just survive (a good sign)- lots of house cleaning on my end as well (And I mean room to room) — I will stay away – thanks for the heads up!
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Ha! I just saw the house repair post and commented. We seem to be on similar paths my friend! ❤️Tiffany
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I thought the same thing 🙂
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☺️🙏🏽❤️
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And I hope the sweetness will rise and taste sweeter than ever before.
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Thank you, BP, it has!
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Stunning honesty. Love. 🙏🏽
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Thank you, glad you like it! ❤️Tiffany
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