For most of my life I have hated my name.
In college I tried to get friends to call me Cara.
Tiffany never seemed to fit,
so many called me Jennifer.
Most expected a ditzy, bimbo cheerleader.
Seems I like inversions:
Honor student, few boyfriends and
all black with combat boots.
Perhaps, maybe, a Nirvana cheerleader?
Or like in the movie Ted,
it was with dread
that Tiffany was #5 (i believe)
in the list of white trash names.
In Greek Tiffany means “The Appearance of God,”
derived from Epiphany, yet for
so long it felt more like the disappearance.
Name hatred seemingly
reflected my feelings towards God.
For so long, God was a
Goddess less painful.
Now I use God as interchangeable
for All: masculine and feminine.
Having a better acceptance of All that is,
and my role in the Divine Feminine.
While I’m finally learning
to accept even the darkest
parts of me, I am finally (somewhat)
surrendering into my name.
Still wishing my mom had
just gone with Tara. Seems
so much more fitting and
powerful…Terra, mother earth…
I know, I know, I am much
more than my name. Still
a fun game to imagine
if things would have been
the same with a different
Here’s a video that brings forth
a new meaning to Tiffany, I hope it makes you laugh, crazy!
Headphones, if at work, may be in order!