All in a name

Posted byTiffanyPosted inpoetry & prose, shameTags:, ,

For most of my life I have hated my name.

In college I tried to get friends to call me Cara.

Tiffany never seemed to fit,

so many called me Jennifer.

Most expected a ditzy, bimbo cheerleader.

Seems I like inversions:

Honor student, few boyfriends and

all black with combat boots.

Perhaps, maybe, a Nirvana cheerleader?

~~~

Or like in the movie Ted,

it was with dread

that Tiffany was #5 (i believe)

in the list of white trash names.

How lovely!

~~

In Greek Tiffany means “The Appearance of God,”

derived from Epiphany, yet for

so long it felt more like the disappearance.

Name hatred seemingly

reflected my feelings towards God.

 

~~~

For so long, God was a

four-letter word.

Goddess less painful.

Now I use God as interchangeable

for All: masculine and feminine.

Having a better acceptance of All that is,

and my role in the Divine Feminine.

~~~

While I’m finally learning

to accept even the darkest

parts of me, I am finally (somewhat)

surrendering into my name.

~~~

Still wishing my mom had

just gone with Tara. Seems

so much more fitting and

powerful…Terra, mother earth…

~~~

I know, I know, I am much

more than my name. Still

a fun game to imagine

if things would have been

the same with a different

first name!

~~~

Here’s a video that brings forth
a new meaning to Tiffany, I hope it makes you laugh, crazy!
Headphones, if at work, may be in order!

 

Namaste

__/|\__ Metta

2016.02.22

Published by Tiffany

Writing out my thoughts has helped me to gain a new perspective of myself. In sharing these writings, it is my hope to help others to better understand themselves. It is my belief that with each of us who chooses this path of greater understanding of thy self, that it inspires others to do the same. This building momentum is the force that drives me to share, for in my vulnerability, I find my strength. I believe that you can also find yours there. ~~~In reading some of my posts, you will see that growth is not always pretty. It is in breaking apart and coming undone that a seed sprouts and breaks free of its own captivity. It is also out of mud that the lotus blossoms. ~~~Please join me in seeing the beauty of growth within the deconstruction of our limiting beliefs. ~~T.C.

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