metal vessel creeks, moans
water seeps along interior walls,
under benthic depths pressure builds,
descending further, abysmic lightless
releasing my breath in bubbles,
nothing left to give, apathy sets in.
ballasts filled with cold heavy water,
the descent continues.
like a wet blanket words and fires
asphyxiated. hard to hear muses
ears popping, muffling voices.
only faith and radar pings
feeling breathless, broken,
sinking further, uncharted
hull unbreachead, seeking,
searching, myself, beseeched.
taking no more depth, now finally
surrendering the weight of my breath
and pain i turn now, ready to ascend
again. “blow the ballasts!,” i shout.
sunlight penetrates murky depths
benthic below me, empathy returns
finding in heart spaces, forgiveness
for myself, hardest to give & receive.
breaching, no longer beseaching.
lost; now found.
new heart spaces recovered.
another return to positive buoyancy.