Gonna rise up turning mistakes into gold.
Gonna rise up and find my direction magnetically…
Rise by Eddie Vedder
It’s no wonder I must descend into the murky depths for my soul to heal.
When I feel, I feel with each and every fiber of my being; down to the core.
My passion, when I fully allow it, runs rampantly;
a fire wildly coursing through my body.
I needed the depths of the abyss to suffocate
the fire that threatened to me burn down to my subatomics.
In descending into unconsciousness, I was at a loss for words.
Words are not the void’s means of expression;
instead feelings and images, pain & suffering.
the abyss was the wet blanket I needed,
for my passion was threatening to consume me;
deeply burning from inside out.
the water helped me to avoid over-consumption; burning up to nothing.
in ascending, my fire is more maintainable, less overwhelming.
the treasures are new sight, renewed freedom and a greater sense of peace.
while i was down, i knew it was not forever, i was loved and protected,
being told repeatedly “tomorrow this time, you will be ok”
the still quite voice reminded me, over and over, again and again.
even in the throes of my darkest pain and suffering, i new i would be reborn.
the pain, the suffering, the blindness were all springboards
to a new level of being: happiness with less pain and with greater clarity of vision.
no longer bound by my self-induced prison.
the dark night of the soul, I can now say,
has brought to me brightness in a new way.
my spring has sprung, now ready to face a new day.
i thought i needed a knight, of the darkness or the light
to save me, yet here I am shown again and again,
I am the hero in my own story.
I am the knight, both dark and light.
the daughter of a seemingly absent King Neptune
who magically bestows everything in its Divine time,
who really truly is always there for me, if I but ask nicely.
a lady of the water,
who knows how to breathe, while holding her breath.
knowing that under the water, there is life,
even when walking through the valley of the shadows of death.
the song of the sea; the right song for me
learning to live life more and more authentically.
singing with my voice fully opened,
free to be me; the song of the sea
now i see why she has called to me,
no wonder inland I could not live: I am of the Sea.
now learning to forgive my trespasses
and those who have trespassed against me.
__/|\__ Ananda & Metta