Perspective: It’s Everything

When I look at life as magical and miraculous, I see magic at every turn. Yet, when all I feel is despair, then I find myself disconnecting – creating the very thing I believe. How I perceive means everything; it can make me, it can break me. Truly. Sadly. Happily. You name it, I create it.

Just this past Friday I found myself in the grips of despair. After I removed the distraction of WordPress, the loneliness that I had been evading (quite creatively; thinking I was doing well by myself, nonetheless), became oppressive.

Interestingly, swimming is a powerful visualization for me when I am in physical or emotional pain. It seems that with my recent descent into the Abyss, being in a submarine offered too much protection and this time, I found myself skin diving through the River Styx, a river I have greatly dreaded conquering.

 

Zero: A New Birth

Careless
The whispers
in my ears roaring the things I don’t want to hear

Speechless
The lost words
of how the river of Styx feels on my toes

Breathless
The air
Raped from my lungs when pushed in from above

Bottomless
The pit of despair
What brought me here? No air: who fucking cares?

Emotionless
The pain consuming all
Deeply felt until the nothing permeates & penetrates

Apathy
The absolute resolution
The darkness fills my heart: full dissolution

Weightless
The armor
No longer needed; no thing to protect anyway (hearing echoes of “who fucking cares?”)

Amorphous
The lack of container
Flowing just as the river, until becoming it; everything

Effortless
The movement
As I flow from here to there, every where yet no where, every thing yet no thing

Less than zero
The complete submission
Freedom rings, a return to air

A new Zero
The rebirth
Toes dipping into the River Styx, until next time when I feel lost again

Once I reemerge from this river, there is no longer a sense of loneliness. I feel complete again. In fact, my “need” for a romantic relationship is shed. In swimming through the river Styx, I shed another layer of the part of me that felt lonely; incomplete.

It can sound scary to swim through the River Styx, yet my faith that I am protected allows me to repeatedly swim when it feels I cannot breathe. While I do not view myself as a Christian, in the last 8 or so years, I have begun to see some scripture in a different light. Perspective, once again, can make things so different in my life.

The 23rd Psalm, in particular, holds great power for me. I recite it, as well as other powerful verses, Ho’Oponopono and Reiki when I find myself in any sort of jam. Tom Kenyon, co-author of The Magdalen Manuscript: The Alchemies of Horus and the Sex Magic of Isis, offers a new perspective of this Psalm. After hearing his explanation of the alterations that include the Divine Feminine, I was blown away. Throughout my work, I often refer to Psalm 23 as it helps me so frequently.

According to Kenyon, this Psalm has connections to the Hermetic system in Egypt. [if you would like to listen to his words, you will need to go to his site, click the agreement to his copyright terms, then scroll way down to the bottom and you will see two links to the 23rd Psalm to either download or listen. One is the Alchemical Decoding and the other is a voice recording, an interesting experience]

23rd Psalm
“Mantra of Protection”

The Lord is my shepherd,
     Your celestial soul protects you
I shall not want.
     when in connection with your celestial soul, you are not in lack.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures,
     life situations that are nourishing
She restoreth my soul.
     through being still & connecting with the still quiet voice within
He preparest a table in the midst of mine enemies.
     we are abundant and given what we need, in spite  inner and outer enemies; ourselves 
She anointed my head with oil,
     refers to connection with our higher centers (Ureaus) 
my cup runneth over.
     the blessings overflow
Even though I walk through the valley of the Shadows of The Death,
     the old world is dying; daily our cells also die – we live amongst both death and life
I shall fear No Evil,
     there is nothing to fear when we are connected
For Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me.
     references to the Egyptian Ascension process which offer protection through ascension
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.
     when we are connected to our higher aspects, we receive grace
And I shall dwell in the house of The Lord, Forevermore.
     you are in the house of your own celestial soul
Amen.
    so be it

~~~

It is my hope that after reading this, you may find a new perspective of this Psalm, so often read at funerals and associated with death. Yet, for me it offers so many keys to living.

Interesting to note that in my opening statement I refer to the magic of life. Today, after I observed an Osprey flying overhead (connections to Hermes, The Egyptian symbol of the Soul), that I was offered a bottle of water by a local church during my morning run/walk. Attached to the bottle was a scripture. It was Psalm 23:2 “He maketh me to lie down in green pastures, He leadeth me beside still waters.” I could have refused the offering, yet I heard Buddha’s teaching to receive what is offered from others. I could have also received 1 of 9 other scriptures, yet I received this one, which also reflects my journey of respite from WP as well as my swim through the River Styx.

Later in the day I was out and about, waiting for some work to be done on my Jeep. The TV in the lounge was showing the Michigan State vs Purdue game. After I sat down, laptop open, the score was tied at 23 to 23. This lasted for the better part of a minute. I wish I could make this shit up. While I wanted to sit down and work on many other pieces, I was clearly being lead to work on this piece about Psalm 23, IMHO.

Perhaps it is my belief in the magic of life that brings me these hints and messages: perspective!

Author’s note: 23 is a very powerful number for me. I was born on the 23rd of the month, my grandmother’s birthday. My BFF was born on the 23rd of January. I also love prime numbers, they represent for me the bit of beauty found in being indivisible; the asymmetry and imbalance. They are “imperfect” and I fucking love them for it.

Namaste

13 thoughts on “Perspective: It’s Everything

  1. There are signs all around you Tiffany. Signs of healing and moving forward. And your eyes are wide open to receiving them. Keep them open. You’ve written some beautiful words of truth in your post. Hugs to you.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m with you completely on Psalm 23 – it’s been a source of power for me from about 9 years old on. I’ve never associated it with death except in agreeing in that even though I’ve walked in it’s shadow – the bitch holds nothing for me to fear.

    Keep smiling!

    Liked by 1 person

      • It’s the song of a warrior to me. Not a cute verse to put on memory cards. It’s a kick-ass verse about walking through it all knowing the One who has my back.

        I was not an appreciated child in Sunday School. LMAO

        But then again, I was the little girl thought Deborah was the best chick in the Bible.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I missed most of Sunday School. In fact, most of Sunday school was scary for me. Long story re: my running away from Christianity. Learning to see value in it now. =)
        I love your spirit, Rita! Wish I had always been the strong, outspoken one. My warrior spirit was broken young, putting her back together again has been…fun?! =)

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, faith is definitely an inside job. I’m learning to read the scriptures differently and am finding a peace within from that.
        The Lord’s Prayer is another favorite of mine. Maybe I’ll get a “round tuit” and post about that sometime too. A very powerful mantra that is, as well. The thing I loved about church as a young child was hearing the congregation speak together those words. Singing was also lovely, but I could feel more from the prayer when done in unison. Synergy, “when 2 or more are gathered….” xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

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