Month: April 2016

Salud: A Toast

With my lowball raised in the air, I toast to a year of blogging, a year of following and a year of being followed. I appreciate the support I have received from each one of you in this journey. Being supported in exploring the inner workings of my heart, mind and soul has been an interesting process and I appreciate all that have joined me in some way along the way. Some have come and gone, others have stayed and brought new ones along. To all of you, I thank you dearly! In this time and with your support, I have had a year of great discovery. Last but not least: Salud!

Many of my posts involve water themes. In fact, my first post Perspective involved waves. So it is only fitting to chose the song, Humbling River by Puscifer for today’s anniversary celebration. The song also supports my belief that at times we need one another to get past troubling obstacles; we are stronger together than apart. I chose this particular YouTube version as it features images of military service members in action – many crossing rivers and battlegrounds.

As many of my followers are vets and active duty service members, I raise my glass as a special toast to you and all that you do & have done. My next toast is to the spouses & loved ones that support you. Salud!

Trigger warning: most battle wounds are the invisible ones left on the minds and hearts of those who have served, images in this video may trigger some of those scars.

37

Walk with Me ~ A triad

Walk with me, skirting the edge
of reality’s boundaries
so we can dance with the darkness
that is seducing our minds.

The slopes are slippery, footing precarious
Fantasies beckon from the mist of desire
But truth whispers from life’s bowels
questioning our sinful disdain.

From a different vantage point
finding the stillness within
shedding the shame
see the light & dark are all the same.

~~~Another poem birthed from my trip further south. I had the distinct pleasure of meeting with both Dana of Love Letters Lost at Sea & A. Castaneda of The View Through a Cracked Lens. It was a gorgeous day & I had a lovely time meeting with them both in person. Both are beautiful souls whose work I greatly enjoy & I hope you do, as well! If not, check them out! That’s an order. =)

I am enjoying meeting bloggers in person, this may become a new goal for the year!

Featured Image courtesy of Viacheslav Blizniuk at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

IMG_0856

 

 

12

Heart’s Journey

“My heart is at ease knowing that what was meant for me will never miss me,
and that what misses me was never meant for me.”
~Al Shafifi

As I drove to Raleigh Tuesday I could not believe
what I was indeed doing: taking time off of work
to go to a mid-week show in another state.
“Who the f*** is this person inside of me?!,”
I kept thinking, in an inspiring way.

Then, just outside of Raleigh, a Great Blue Heron flew overhead.
For me, they show me that what is meant for me comes to me.

It was not until I arrived in Raleigh
that I had to come to a stop and it truly
dawned on me that I was going this alone.
And while in a little bit of shock, I was mostly in awe.

Here I gave myself a pep talk about going to a concert solo.
Just about a year ago, I nearly panicked when I went out grocery shopping,
knowing I was going to later be home, all alone.
At the time it was scary, I thought, “really, who is this inside of me?!”

Once in Raleigh, I ran into a man not one, not two,
but three times, even eating at the same
restaurant’s upstairs, outdoor bar – without planning it.
After talking for over an hour, I invited him to the show.
That moment was gold!

We didn’t have to pay parking fees, so he bought me a drink.
Soon we were ushered to our seats, just as the show began.
The show was a needed reprieve.

I was glad I invited him. It was nice to have company.
Later, after we shook hands and returned to our  own rooms,
he shared that he was interested in me. I thought, “really?!”
Yet, this was not good timing. I needed to rest for the next
day’s drive and I was already tired and my body was hurting, badly.

The next day was icing on the cake. Being able to meet 2 bloggers!
It was a joy to relate to Dana the beauty of my mid-week
adventures. She showed me where following my joy means
being open to more traveling opportunities – more shows,
meeting more bloggers, thus following my heart, my joy, more & more.

What is meant for me comes to me, it is not something for which I must seek…

Last night, I met a man in a group I hang out with often.
He’s intriguing and I’m curious to see where things lead.
Definitely left me with interesting dreams…big cheesy smile!

Yet, I’m keeping calm as it’s time to start cleaning,
and packing….& breathing!

Image: Google

 

 

22

Pigtails & Southern Belles ~ A Duet

Words to wings of friendship

life experiences exchanged

glances, laughs & sighs of realization

bring depth to the ink we drip

~~

the feeling of timelessness

not one beat missed.

what a beautiful day,

shared in a most beautiful way.

~~

Madness abounds in the details

pigtails, plural nouns & angel wings

Bind us in more than this moment of time

We journey forward, from this point forward.

~~

Belly laughs, smiles & some tears

helping one another dispel fears.

Watermelon mimosas, collard greens,

two Southern women: The Bee’s Knees!

~~~

This week, I had the opportunity to meet Dana, the beautiful soul behind Love letters lost at Sea. We met for breakfast and stayed through lunch. The company, food& weather were great! She & I discovered that we have a lot in common. To my surprise, I even got to meet Adam. We penned a poem or two. 

  

Image: Google 

37

breaking free

while I might see the reflection of this in you,

this poem is really about me breaking free.

unreasonable expectations for perfection

continue to plague me.

to not mis a step, nor a beat, to remain

always on my feet, like a good soldier.

I can give you the world,

yet for myself I continue to put myself

down for my needs. second-hand love

for myself does not leave me replete.

like a ragdoll tossed in the wind,

I find myself face down in the mud

again and again.

dusting off seems my greatest skill, again

climbing up the seemingly endless hill.

the value I see in the trees, the move of the breeze.

learning to live it, breathe it

and see it even in me.

with each breath in 

I choose to love me,

with each breath out, 

I learn again to be free.

Lighting the match

I watch as I burn down the 

Expectations that keep me de-elevated,

de-valued and de-pressed.

Washing the ashes down the drain.

Once again, I can my freedom re-claim.

Breaking free of my self-imposed cage

Keeps me from dying in the feelings of rage.

Breathing into the new space, 

I now can return to the warmth of the sun,

With grace in my heart 

and a smile on my face.

12

He loves her

His smile warms her face,

She blushes in return,

Basking in the light of His glow.

~~

He brushes away the wispy hairs

From her face, tucks them behind her ears.

He strokes her smooth skin,

Blowing His heat onto her neck.

To all her hurt parts, 

He brings attention.

~~

She loves being loved by Him.

Learning to love the skin she is in.

Learning to be free from within.

Oh, look, another Great Blue Heron?!

~~
An ode to the sun and the wind, who both graced me with their presence this week as I took a topless Jeep road trip across state lines.

Most of the trip was breathtaking and a much needed reprieve from …most everything. 

Realizing during this trip how much I still worry about my persona and being accepted by others. And an unexpected Great Blue Heron sighting 20 miles from Raleigh…seems to be my “squirrel!” in this poem.

Much love to you on your journey! 

2016.04.19

Photo © Onion | Dreamstime.com


25

Breathe me

With each breath in,

I choose life.

With each breath out,

I choose death

for the things which no longer serve me.

16

Six-Word Stories 

strength proportionally gained by pain survived.

attractive, yet not a classic beauty.

composing words rules my mind; bittersweet.

Writing more stories means more bleeding.

Her desire is to be desired.

Writing, my drug therapy of choice.

16

Shadow Boxing

This past week I’ve felt at times as if I were going to get plowed under. Then after sometimes reluctantly using my tools or reaching out to close confidantes with a ‘simple confession,’ I quickly reached clarity again.  I often felt like I was on a lopsided wheel. 

Prevailing emotions included self-doubt and self-loathing with a dollop of sadness to top it off. It often felt like shadow boxing; fighting myself.

I no longer believe I am alone in this. Am wondering if any bloggers would be interested in a blog for sharing information regarding prevailing energies, spiritual tools, and general support? 

It seems that the energy is becoming more intense at times and feeling that some of us could use an online community to gain insights, share experiences and help one another? 

For instance, in the past week, The Great Blue Heron has been very prominent for me. One has flown overhead 6 or more times in 5 days. So I would do a post on the energies of the Great Blue Heron to share with the group. 

Please send me a message (gmail at tiffanybeingfree) or post a comment that you are interested and I’ll see what I can do about getting something started, probably this weekend. 

If interested, please share your thoughts to keep it private or open.

If you want to be an admin, let me know! I’m hoping for 6-7. 

7

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