When my soul passes from this world, it is my hope that those left behind celebrate my life more than grieve the loss of it. As such, I am now choosing to celebrate more than grieve.
It is easy for me to focus on what I have “lost” this past year. Two days ago, many suppressed emotions hit me like a freight train after I was stood up. I was blind-sided by well-hidden and suppressed anger towards men, guilt for breaking up the family, and deeply-seated fears of abandonment and rejection.
By sitting through these emotions, allowing them to just express themselves without getting attached to them with statements like, “No, I don’t hate men,” or “yes, I’m a bad mother,” I was able to allow the beliefs to become neutral and no longer charged. It was hard as hell, yet worth the effort to become free of the charges.
I had been holding onto grief as if it were my job! I realize I had subconsciously packed up emotions and physical possessions. Now I am sorting through it all with an open heart and mind. Today I see that if I want to stop grieving, then I need to start celebrating!
Today I choose to celebrate:
- being a mom that is freed from many of her own fears.
- the relationships with men who are present and supportive warriors.
- having a lighter home with fewer things to pack, move and unpack.
- the light, will and strength within.
- the freedom within to choose new ways of being.
- that what is meant for me will never miss me.
May we all find the freedom to celebrate more than grieve today and every day. I hope you will join me in your own way! Feel free to share the things that you choose to start celebrating today.
Happy Mother’s Day!