Memorial Day focuses on remembering those who lost their lives serving our country. While I feel this is important to pause and reflect upon, what about honoring those who survived doing the same? What about those who saw their comrades die, those who have survivor’s guilt, those who tended the wounds of the wounded – and persist with wounds of their own? I’ve felt this way for a long while. Yes, there is Veteran’s Day, yet I feel those who have survived are overlooked and downplayed.
Yesterday I had a first hand experience with the potential for losing a friend to an accidental gun shot wound. After he was on his way to surgery (and I’ve messaged with him today: he is doing quite ok), I was able to decompress. After the kids were gone I let loose the floodgates. After the tears had run their course, I was able to collect myself and attend a BBQ with loving friends who rubbed my shoulders, showed me to the bourbon (repeatedly), made me laugh and let me tell my story (I’ll omit the kissing & telling, near skinny dipping). They were my therapy. While I was never in danger during the incident, I can fully appreciate that soldiers are and soldiers in theater don’t easily get that break for R&R. Meanwhile, I do and I’m still dealing with many after shock.
Bands of rain fell in sheets
Washing the pavement clean
Blood mixing with rain
Wishing the water could
clear away the fears, shock
and the pain, all the same.
He’s been handling firearms
since before I took my first breath.
He was leaving my house and somehow
when holstering it, the Glock .9mm fired.
The bullet hit his calf.
I didn’t see the gun until after
he was “on the bus.”
Though I saw the muzzle flash,
it confused me, having not seen the gun.
Dizzying moments. where is my phone?
The kids are safe, inside, upstairs in
our new home. Calling 911. Applying
a makeshift tourniquet with his belt.
Keeping my neighbor in line, “have him
focus his eyes. Wave down the Fire Department.” And my
fave, “no! we’re not cutting his pants off!”
She told me to put his leg down when he started
to pass out. So glad I remembered some things
from when I was 16 years old. He called me
an hour later to thank me for being there
(I insisted on following him to his car to get
my guest parking pass back, what if I hadn’t?!)
Now to help my kids feel ok again in our new home. So
frightened they were that they called their father
via their tablet to his phone as I was talking with
the police officers about what happened.
Good to know they can hail outside help when needed.
I noticed the pool of blood after he was gone,
thinking I would need to hook up the hose to
wash it away. Not needed, rain fell today.
Bands of rain fell in sheets
Washing the pavement clean
Blood mixing with rain
Wishing the water could
clear away the fears, shock
and the pain, all the same.
I could have lost a friend on this day.
Grateful today and everyday for those who have served.
