I remember when holding you was the most magical thing I could do.
Your scent was intoxicating, your soft skin against mine was velvetine.
I loved the sounds you would make while you suckled at the breast.
The hand that would hold my finger in its tiny grasp.
I remember the kisses I would shower & you would gladly receive.
The gleam in your eyes as you would look into mine peacefully.
The giggles we would share without any care.
Now nights I lay awake, dreaming for another take.
Now it seems for all the love I have in my heart
just gets quartered and thrown apart.
Pulling myself together, stitching with threads
of my golden memories of you. What is a mother to do?
Now it seems your resentment and hatred like a volcano just spews.
I expected this would come one day, it just seems years too soon.
When I see you are down, I ask how I can help – go away! is your reply.
So now I hold you in my heart and as best I can, in the light.
I held her hand last night and read this to her then played the song I sang to her as a baby. It changed our dynamic completely.