This past weekend delivered another powerful lesson to me about love. It was through several events that I saw I also held the unconscious belief that love was impermanent. It was as if I needed continual rejnforcement that someone loved me. I also saw this reflected in my children.
While I can immediately tie this to many relationships I have had since childhood where it seemed I was loved one minute and not the next, deep down I know that love is truly infinite. “Mean Girls” scenes come to mind when I recall childhood. To avoid “losing” that loving feeling, I would try to control love by being “the best” I could be, or at least what I believed was the best, anyway.
Let’s just say this belief and its coping mechanisms (one being perfectionism) started very early, before I knew what a lover was. Now I am clearing the concept that love is impermanent and cannot be maintained, as well as the belief that I can control how someone feels about me.
Part of what illuminated this belief was when I started doing some energy experiments from the book E-cubed by Pam Grout. One of the first experiments, in a recap from E-squared, is to show that we create our own realities by what we choose as our focus. So I asked for the Creator/Universe to show me that I am loved, my job was to attentively look for signs for the next 48 hours.
Almost immediately, I started to notice three things en mass pretty quickly: sugar skulls, butterflies and roses, among other things. All three subjects involve the cycles of life. Namely, for me, I see the theme of rebirth. The shear abundance of these three things grabbed my attention. Then there was a lull and I then felt, “what happened, am I no longer loved?” It was as if a lightbulb went off and illuminated my self-limiting beliefs.
In waiting at a stoplight Tuesday, the song “Broken” started to play. I immediately began to identify the areas in my life where I have felt broken. Before I sank too far, I was reminded to acknowledge these areas while focusing on all of the places where things are actually going quite well. Soon after, I moved into gratitude for all of the beauty in my life (another theme with roses, butterflies and sugar skulls, for me).
By giving gratitude for what is going well, we increase the focus on what we desire. It is as if we’re ordering from the menu at our favorite restaurant where we focus on what we do want…and gratitude for receiving our order increases the return on our investments.
This song “Kiss From a Rose” pulls together several themes and highlights the illumination of the darkness, showing that love heals when we allow it to.
Note: “Apache Rose Peacock” played as I debated posting this today. It’s jaw-dropping lyrics certainly had my attention and were further proof that everything is coming up roses (and beauty). 🌹