As I pause and wait for the security doors to open, I am grateful to be going to the gym in the pre-dawn hours this day. I hold the hot tall flat white, the liquid heat warming my hands on this cool morning. I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful to be able to stand here today, ready to enter the gym when the doors to the building finally open and allow me in.
All this work I’ve been posting about and living the last two weeks has brought me to a turning point in my life. Where shadows were once predominate, light now sifts through. Where once I sought refuge from myself, now I begin to feel the sanctity within my own flesh. I am grateful to The Universe (that includes God), to be here in this very spot today.
Yet, at times I still struggle. I am learning to accept on a deeper level that this struggle is part of life, to some degree. With each boulder that is cleared, there are new obstacles and debris to clear.
For instance, just Wednesday, I had a profound awakening experience. We were running late that day, so my “pushing” was in full effect. You know, when you’re driving behind someone who is going too slow for you (like the speed limit minus 10), and you cannot pass. While I don’t tailgate, my mind is racing and wishing he would pick his pacing the eff up.
Well, I was trapped behind this guy down the lengthening road through the neighborhood – kids were already on the bus, and he was doing 15 mph! Ugh. So my inner quiet voice says to me, “Tiffany, you’re pushing. Everything is going to be okay.” I started to slow down my inner pace, as I could do nothing to get through to the green light any faster.
By that point, the light had been green for some time and I knew it would be yellow soon. A steady flow of cars passed through the intersection and I knew the guy in front of me was going to take it slow. A significant gap formed between him and the car in front of him. I gritted my teeth.
Then it happened. Just before I reached the white line, a white F250 sped across the intersection from the right. This is the least visible part of the intersection, as a privacy fence lines right up with the sidewalk. If that slow driver (Note: I’ve dropped the explicatives) had not been in front of me, that F250 would have planted his grille into my side. Not just the side of my Jeep, but the left side of my soft, compared to Detroit Steele, body. The front doors are off of my Jeep. This guy would have ruined a good bit of my day when he T-boned me and my son at speed. Not the way to make new friends. While I’d love to meet a firefighter, but not that way.
Instead, of making new friends, I slammed on the brakes as the light turned yellow, while safely outside of the intersection. Slow guy, he made it down the road just fine. I was immediately grateful for his slow ride. And now, maybe, just maybe, I’ll listen better to that voice inside.
While I had several challenging cases that day, I was grateful I could be there to help decrease the suffering of my clients… I could have been someone else’s case that day. So that day and everyday, I am grateful to be healthy and alive. Join me, the water is just fine!
Peace & Namaste