The Power and “How to” of Letting Go

Today is a great day to allow what needs to be let go of to pass. 

Our fears, unresolved emotions and pasts haunt us when we allow them to go unchecked. Unconscious tapes play in the background of our psyche, ruling us with their power to distract us from our truth. We then make choices out of our fears, often treating others in negative or blocked ways because of our haunted pasts.

To be able to move forward in life, it’s imperative that we learn to “let go” of our past hurts. This process allows us to think clearly and make choices that support us instead of choices that keep us further stuck. When we no longer live unconsciously through our wounded selves, we open up more fully to others in our lives. We see that the peace and happiness we sought were right there, all along.

Here is the method that I have found the most helpful and supportive in moving forward. 

When an unwanted thought or emotion first starts to form, begin to:

  • Slowly breathe in and out, allowing your belly to expand as you breathe in (taking in more breath), and slightly contracting it as you breathe out. The lungs and belly work together instead of oppositionaly.
  • Imagine the thoughts and emotions pouring or “leaking” out of you and collecting in a box (use whatever kind of container works for you).
  • Imagine that box being taken to a Higher Power for transformation. You can use angels or your vision of The Creator or The Universe to do so.
  • Trust that the piece you have released is gone. We heal in layers, so there may be more that needs to surface. It’s kind of like unplugging a drain, once you start to pull things out, more comes up to be gotten out of the way.
  • Repeat as needed throughout the day. Again, the sooner the better.

The quicker I perform this Visualization when a thought or emotion takes sprout, the less of a chance it has to take root and bloom. Sometimes I even perform this clearing process preemptively, too.

Anecdotal evidence:

I’ve been doing this consistently for a few weeks and in the last week on an almost continual basis each day. Today I had my annual check up and my BP was 108/69 (I haven’t run since March and my gym routine fell apart last month). The Nurse Practitioner also asked me if I was a runner because I had a “slow and steady” heartbeat like a runner would. This was after gaining weight since my last check up. Also today I had been racing around while drinking heavy coffee, not sleeping well and being at the doctor’s office (I use to have “white coat syndrome”). All this to say is that I believe this mediation process has played a big part in my positive health results today.


Images: Google 

Being the Key Master to Your Own Happiness 

When we desire something that we don’t have, we have a tendency to focus on all of the good qualities and how the person, place, thing or idea will fix our problems.

Similarly, when we feel great and excited about someone in our lives, we often place that person on a pedestal. They seem to be bathed in golden light and they shimmer in our eyes. The world spins just at it should and the birds sing. At least for a time, that person can do nothing wrong.

On the other hand, when we have something in our lives that we do not wish to have, we often paint it black. Excess weight, an ex lover, a boss or coworker, an old car, etc can become the bane of our existence. 

Likewise, when we perceive that someone has done us wrong, we can be quick to denounce him or her. All signs of the pedestal are removed along with the glowing light. We find and focus on everything that is wrong with that person and we magnify those faults. Even the good memories are often perceived differently.

How we perceive the world around us and the people in it is a direct reflection of our inner world: both shadow (what we hide from others and even ourselves) and persona (what we show the world). When we take the time to look within, we begin to see that “out there” is truly just a protection from within: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly.

Where we feel broken, angry or sad inside, we project that outwards onto the world and others. When we can see and accept the depth and breadth of our shadows, then we can experience ourselves as whole. This does not mean we act upon our deepest secret desires, instead it means we acknowledge them so they no longer control us. It is then that we can experience the peace within which we seek without. 

We each carry within us the keys to our own happiness. We are our own key masters. When we can understand this, we can set ourselves free.


Letting Go of the Need to Struggle is the Struggle

Surrender is a state of being. When we try to get there or work to get there, that is doing and misses the point.

Our fears block us from receiving all that we can possibly receive. When we step aside and allow the Divine to work through us, we see that the need to struggle is unnecessary. In fact, the struggle blocks us from our greatness; and from receiving.

May we each find peace today in the sweet surrender of letting go of the need to struggle against who we are, what we feel and allow the Divine to work through us.

The struggle does NOT need to be real. Surrender is where it’s at.


Tosha Silver author of “Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Take the Lead” talks to Google:

Perfection’s Anger

“Little girls are sugar, spice and everything nice.”

How destructive this belief becomes to girls and then later to women. I believe it also affects men. This type of thinking is our undoing for it takes away a child’s sense of ability to feel anger. For years I suppressed my anger, as many women do. The only times I would show anger were in passive aggressive ways or when the pressure peaked and I would blow off the steam, then go back to percolating behind the scenes. Never learning that anger is part of the spectrum of human emotion, I suppressed it, pushing it deep into the shadows, hoping it would never return.

In PT school I was telling my therapist about an event and I was cool, indifferent. While I cannot recall the event, I remember her reaction very well. “I would have been very upset about that. That would have made me very angry.” I remained aloof and couldn’t figure out why she would have been angered. Soon, i began to see.

The past few months, I have been allowing another pressure cooker to slowly build its steam. Last night, the pressure within was too much. Instead of studying for my certification test, I spent the evening – even waking slightly during the night – to mentally call up every person in my life for whom I have held – and masked – anger. God and self were included in the call outs.

Yes, there were precipitating events that brought about this hot walk through the hell of anger. The trigger is not important. The anger that I held was where I needed to focus my attention.

Through awareness, allowing and just breathing,  I dropped many hot coals last night. The work here is not done. Yet I have recognized how deeply I was hiding my anger – most harmfully from myself. 

Today I emerged with new eyes (well, still a little swollen from all of the angry crying releases), yet my heart and soul are so much lighter. For many years, I’ve hidden my anger behind the mask of veiled perfection. Last night I took huge steps towards removing both the veil and the mask. 

Being the rainbow means accepting all parts and colors; including the anger. Feeling anger does not mean we strike out nor attack. While i penned a letter to the ex, I burned it. Interestingly, after I finished my “FU” letter, I found myself feeling gratitude and then penned a letter of gratitude. This may seem counterintuitive, yet I was reminded that just as it is the wind that helps the mighty oak to find its strength, I found gratitude in the lessons I had learned. 

Today, I encourage you to look within to see where anger may be hiding. Write, cry, and otherwise be with the pain. Allow the pain to move up to the surface to be seen, this will allow you to be free of it. Feel free to write me and I will request additional healing and prayers: tiffanybeingfree through Gmail dot com.

Hurt people hurt others. It’s time to heal our anger from within so that we can all find our way back to the inner peace that dwells inside. 

Namaste & Metta

Resisting Self-Acceptance

Last week I decided it was time to step up my game and face some fears I had been skirting. So I meditated 5-8 times that day. Each day since I have continued at least 3 bouts of meditation per day to help clear out my fears…and to meet my spiritual goals.

In this time I’ve noticed some shifts that were positive. I’ve had a greater sense of peace and calm, overall. My intuition has become more on point. It has become easier for me to have clarity where once confusion reigned. It also seems some of my most challenging patients are improving suddenly (unexpected bonus).

Yet, I’ve just recognized that it is as if I am at battle with myself. In my quest to become a better person, I am resisting where I am right now. This is building more resistance and no wonder my craving for “sweet treats” is on the rise (and my libido and creativity have all but disappeared). While I’ve been healing on many levels, I’ve also been at war with myself on others. The loss of my creative drive and the increased sweet tooth are signs for me that something is “off.”

While it is important to “shed my old skin” to grow into the next level, it does not aide in my growth to resent or resist the skin I am in now (figuratively and literally). 

Once again I see where Love is still conditioned. To love oneself unconditionally, that means accepting myself for who I am today and then paving the way for greater growth (and I don’t mean my waistline).

So again the edges can be sharp in finding the balance between what is and what is to be…the razor’s edge sometimes can cut deeply when unaccepting of what is; focusing on pushing the advance. Learning to truly Love oneself means loving the parts that seem less than ideal.  For these are the areas where the Love is most depleted…and thus the most needed. 

Feed Love to the parts that are depraved of Love to be able to feel complete. 

“Clark, you can’t run in fear. Your gifts are who you are,” Martha Kent on Smallville.

Namaste and Metta

Guided Meditations:

Connect with the Love Within You

Metta Meditation 

All is Love

Every part of life is Love

Hard to understand when the Love Hurts

Hard to understand when the Love leaves bruises on flesh and hearts

Yet those are the tough kinds of Love

The ones where we are taught lies

So that we can find our own Truths.

We become archeologists

Sifting through the debris of our pasts

To find the parts of ourselves we buried.

Within each lie there is a hidden gem

Hold it up to the light when you find it again

There you will find the truth in the lies &

The grace in the suffering

You were Love and you were Loved all along.

Just as the crucible smelts ore into usable metal,

The fires of transformation shape us 

From raw materials into something greater

All through Love we become our Greatness

Even when it seems we are surrounded by darkness. 


See also: The Spiritual Foundry

Love Your Soul

These three words can be easier to state than to live. Yet to fully live it is time to love ourselves. Fully. Completely. Shadows, sparkles, lights and demons. All of it. No. Exceptions.

The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves hold us back. Things I’ve recently caught myself saying silently:

  • Stupid girl (this one surprised me)
  • You’re confused
  • You’re a bad _____ (mom, student, person)
  • You don’t know anything
  • You’re blind 
  • You’re impatient
  • Why can’t you get your life together?
  • How stupid was that? 
  • When will you learn?
  • What is wrong with you? 

So I’ve started to tell myself different things now.

  • I clearly see the solution
  • My path is illuminated and easy to follow
  • I am love
  • With grace I move forward in peace

Just as cleaning our homes is an ongoing process, so is clearing our minds. If we don’t see the webs that threaten to choke us, then we cannot clear them and replace them with our truths.

Just as orb weavers (often) take down their webs every day, we can help ourselves to move forward by taking down the old and rebuilding anew. 

What hurtful things have you been saying to you and what can you now say, instead?



Catch 22: The Desire for & Fear of Connection 

For as much as I seek love and call in the energy of a well-matched available lover, I also fear His presence in my life.  In the past, feeling unworthy was part of the Catch 22, yet sifting through the muck I see more. 

For many years I’ve questioned the  existence of an available and mortal man to love me and all of my seeming messes. While I now believe in the possibility of a mortal man to exist, I harbor fears now that question my ability to meet him. Fears of rejection, abandonment and betrayal have been pervasive. Even though their intensity is diminished, these fears still exist.

As much as I desire to be fully seen, I also fear it. There’s also a huge fear of the level of connection and vulnerability that a match would bring. To be held accountable and unable to hide at such a high level causes some level of fright. So once again I find myself waffling and uncertain. This makes for an inability to bring to me the very things I desire. 

With each weed that I have pulled from my garden, a new weed is uncovered. It is my choice what grows in this garden of mine. Now to figure out how to cross that bridge to get to where I am pulling fewer weeds and instead spending more time nurturing the plants I want to see. That is where I seem to be, once again working to change my focus from what is wrong to what is right.


Post-script:  Writing is my release, the healing salve I need to gain perspective and rise up again (and again). After scheduling this post, thus releasing another layer of fears, my mind found the memory of acceptance: 

What will be will be. The Universe conspires to make what needs to happen to happen. Ultimately we’re all connected. 

Related reading “Love Made in Heaven” about twin flames

Blog at

Up ↑