Perfection’s Anger

“Little girls are sugar, spice and everything nice.”

How destructive this belief becomes to girls and then later to women. I believe it also affects men. This type of thinking is our undoing for it takes away a child’s sense of ability to feel anger. For years I suppressed my anger, as many women do. The only times I would show anger were in passive aggressive ways or when the pressure peaked and I would blow off the steam, then go back to percolating behind the scenes. Never learning that anger is part of the spectrum of human emotion, I suppressed it, pushing it deep into the shadows, hoping it would never return.

In PT school I was telling my therapist about an event and I was cool, indifferent. While I cannot recall the event, I remember her reaction very well. “I would have been very upset about that. That would have made me very angry.” I remained aloof and couldn’t figure out why she would have been angered. Soon, i began to see.

The past few months, I have been allowing another pressure cooker to slowly build its steam. Last night, the pressure within was too much. Instead of studying for my certification test, I spent the evening – even waking slightly during the night – to mentally call up every person in my life for whom I have held – and masked – anger. God and self were included in the call outs.

Yes, there were precipitating events that brought about this hot walk through the hell of anger. The trigger is not important. The anger that I held was where I needed to focus my attention.

Through awareness, allowing and just breathing,  I dropped many hot coals last night. The work here is not done. Yet I have recognized how deeply I was hiding my anger – most harmfully from myself. 

Today I emerged with new eyes (well, still a little swollen from all of the angry crying releases), yet my heart and soul are so much lighter. For many years, I’ve hidden my anger behind the mask of veiled perfection. Last night I took huge steps towards removing both the veil and the mask. 

Being the rainbow means accepting all parts and colors; including the anger. Feeling anger does not mean we strike out nor attack. While i penned a letter to the ex, I burned it. Interestingly, after I finished my “FU” letter, I found myself feeling gratitude and then penned a letter of gratitude. This may seem counterintuitive, yet I was reminded that just as it is the wind that helps the mighty oak to find its strength, I found gratitude in the lessons I had learned. 

Today, I encourage you to look within to see where anger may be hiding. Write, cry, and otherwise be with the pain. Allow the pain to move up to the surface to be seen, this will allow you to be free of it. Feel free to write me and I will request additional healing and prayers: tiffanybeingfree through Gmail dot com.

Hurt people hurt others. It’s time to heal our anger from within so that we can all find our way back to the inner peace that dwells inside. 

Namaste & Metta

12 thoughts on “Perfection’s Anger

  1. I love this. I began the journey to my true-self when I accepted my anger for what it was: a true and necessary part of my being. Surely I released it inappropriately at first; a bit like trying to focus a fire hose alone for the first few years. But the more I learned to respect its purpose, the more I learned how to harness its potentially destructive power.

    It became, and remains, the most powerful weapon in my journey of self-discovery and self-advancement. My anger moves me to action. My willingness to surrender it to wisdom moves me to freedom and finally, peace.

    Great post!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Rita, yes! Anger had it’s purpose and I so agree with you here. I’ve been peeling back the layers for years. Sometimes it surprises me where it hides 🙂
      Thank you for this comment and your continued support! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes it does. I suppose there will always be those hidden pockets that are triggered without warning. As a matter of fact, I experienced it early this morning when reading an article – something triggered an angry response that made no sense to me until I walked away from it for a couple of hours and then revisited it. It forced me to make a decision and that is how it seems to work in me still.

        I’ll always support you – you are precious ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      • Rita, you are also very precious to me. It’s nice to have a veteran warrior who understands the path I’m on.

        Much love, both in the light and through the darkness! ❤️ Tiffany (now to study!)

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my gosh, I so get this and something I’ve been exploring as well. I have a gift of self expression but yet I withhold my anger often. This is an ongoing lesson for me and not expressing it only hurts me. I enjoy your blog, I love seeing others dig deep emotionality, all emotions, we learn so much about ourselves this way. This is the way to our truth. Thanks for you insights, you touch my soul in many ways.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Laurie, thank you for sharing your experience. Often in the darkness we can feel like we’re the only ones, so it’s nice to know when others understand. Thank you for enjoying my blog and following! I’m grateful to know you’ve found my sharing of experiences helpful. It was one heck of a weekend, for sure! ❤️ Tiffany

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m so glad I came across this post & your blog! I just had a big fight with my beloved, which inspired me to write my most popular post yet here: https://boneandsilver.com/2017/06/27/bread-butter-vs-death-the-neuroscience-of-arguing/
    Anger floods us, despite our best intentions; it’s literally a physical experience, and we attach emotions to it as well, just to make it more complicated. I’m looking forward to following your blog now, thanks, gabrielle in Australia : )

    Liked by 1 person

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