When we desire something that we don’t have, we have a tendency to focus on all of the good qualities and how the person, place, thing or idea will fix our problems.
Similarly, when we feel great and excited about someone in our lives, we often place that person on a pedestal. They seem to be bathed in golden light and they shimmer in our eyes. The world spins just at it should and the birds sing. At least for a time, that person can do nothing wrong.
On the other hand, when we have something in our lives that we do not wish to have, we often paint it black. Excess weight, an ex lover, a boss or coworker, an old car, etc can become the bane of our existence.
Likewise, when we perceive that someone has done us wrong, we can be quick to denounce him or her. All signs of the pedestal are removed along with the glowing light. We find and focus on everything that is wrong with that person and we magnify those faults. Even the good memories are often perceived differently.
How we perceive the world around us and the people in it is a direct reflection of our inner world: both shadow (what we hide from others and even ourselves) and persona (what we show the world). When we take the time to look within, we begin to see that “out there” is truly just a protection from within: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly.
Where we feel broken, angry or sad inside, we project that outwards onto the world and others. When we can see and accept the depth and breadth of our shadows, then we can experience ourselves as whole. This does not mean we act upon our deepest secret desires, instead it means we acknowledge them so they no longer control us. It is then that we can experience the peace within which we seek without.
We each carry within us the keys to our own happiness. We are our own key masters. When we can understand this, we can set ourselves free.