From Judgment to Compassion 

Over the past few months some things have come up in my life that show me how judgmental I am against myself. Friends and enemies can commit far worse “crimes” and I can pardon them. Yet the slightest mistake on my part and I’m flaying myself with mental barbs and hooks…for much longer than would ever be necessary for anyone else. This has been a painful lesson for me to see and it’s time to change another element of how I treat myself. Compassion is the answer to judgment, and will be my theme for 2017. 

Within judgment I feel there are elements of sadness and anger. Anger sears through my inner being when I throw hot coals at myself for my behaviors or thoughts. Then the sadness is seen in my belief that I am not a better person. There is also the grief that comes from the way I direct so much anger at myself. 

This self-treatment just holds me back from greater achievements. Beating myself down, there is no way to rise back up. There is also no escaping self-deprecating thoughts, so I have sought out reprieve in external addictive behaviors like texting, eating and watching TV. So while I’ve had more free-time the past few months I’ve been writing less. Writing is my release and I’ve been more challenged to write because of the creativity block that judgment created. I can stand it no longer. 

Finally, I am gifting to myself the salvation of compassion. Hell’s fires are now just smoldering lava trails in the calm, soothing waters of understanding. The murkiness & the confusion that past judgments wrought have begun to clear in the clean air of compassion. 

If anyone else in the world had done what I have done, they’d have been nurtured and set free of judgment by me. It’s now time to give these very gifts to myself, for the less I hold judgment against myself, frees others to love themselves a little bit more. A planet of people who have open hearts to themselves helps the world to be a greater place. So please join me in finding a new way to gift ourselves more grace.

Namaste 

42 thoughts on “From Judgment to Compassion 

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      1. Me too, but it’s been 45 years of doing it, so I suppose a little compassion and petite croissants with myself in the process of undoing is called for, huh?! You too. Cheers!

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      2. Yes, I’m only a 4 years behind ya in that habit. And yes, it’s time for us to make new choices on how we treat ourselves! New layers rise to the surface to be healed ❤😘

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  1. Aw! That self flagellation we have learned from our parents and peers and other adults around us up until the age of 7 which is the age of reason. A catholic bishop said give me your child until the age of 7 and i will make that child a catholic forever. It is true however you are strong Tiffany and you can unlearn these patterns. When I was 16 my friend introduced me to a book You can heal your life by Louise hay. That was the start of my healing. She talks about affirmation which is what you tell yourself over and over. I was critically flagellating myself up to the point of suicide. I thought affirmation was seriously for the birds. My friend said what have you got to lose. I did the affirmation of I love myself. It took a while as when I did this affirmation 20 negative thoughts were there to shoot me down. I plowed through it and one day I felt lighter and I really at that point loved myself . I repeat this affirmation in the mirror everyday. Mirror work is hard to do but such an eye opener. Be well my friend and sending you healing thoughts your way ❤

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    1. Joesph, thank you for sharing your wealth of knowledge. That’s helpful to know re age 7… yes, I have several of Hay’s and Hay House books. I typically use Sanskrit mantras, as I find that they trigger me less. I also use affirmations when I’m working through things and have done mirror work. What happened here is where events lead to me seeing some of my core beliefs. The beliefs that are so intertwined that it takes something to bring them forward. Thus I discovered deeper layers that needed love and compassion. And after a dream I had last night, I believe that these are ancestral wounds that go beyond my lifetime. It would make sense as the doses of guilt and shame that I was giving myself were completely disproportionate to the “crimes.”
      Thank you, again, for your input and support!
      ❤Tiffany

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      1. It’s taken me some time to sift through and understand why telling myself I love myself is such a struggle. What I learned of love as a child was hurtful and manipulative. So a huge element of healing myself is redefining what love is. It’s about digging into the places that feel unloved and seeing them. It’s about reexamining my beliefs around what love is. So when I say I love you to myself, those layers emerge. So much of my introspection on this blog is about that. Revealing to others and myself the layers as they emerge. Yes, the mantras work, and sometimes the layers are painful and at times overwhelming. Last night I shared with a friend that I was reemerging. He asked what triggered it. I listed 5-6 core issues, and I even forgot some. Thank you, Joseph, for helping me to process and understand another aspect of this healing process that I have a tendency to forget when I’m going through it. I’m redefining love for myself everyday, finding new elements that need it. Namaste

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      2. You’re welcome and you were at the place that you were ready to hear what was said. Had I brought this to you last month you may have been non receptive so give yourself credit for listening hearing and taking it to your heart. Be well ❤

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    1. Ah I feel your pain. There was a time when I was filled with self hate. This was a time when. I felt that I wasn’t holding up to what I thought I should. However in meditation. I found out that my problem wasn’t with who I am, and what I’m capable of or worth. My problem was I was confusing myself and what I wanted with the wants and needs those around had been feeding to me. External media, parents, schools, friends.

      When I realized this. It was so profound, and unique. That ever since I’ve always been me and do what I want. I get sad sometimes, but that’s normal.

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  2. Happy New Year, Tiffany :-* You ARE so compassionate with others and giving of yourself. It would be a wonderful gift to turn that same loving energy on yourself. Fortunately, you are able to see how you treat yourself differently…many never gain that insight. From here, you are able make changes. I hope 2017 is a special year for you beautiful girl (inside and out). ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you & Happy New Year to you Sir Sexy Michael! Yes, blogging has been that unfolding of understanding. Funny to think back where I was a year ago this time, unable to accept a man calling me beautiful. 😉 Namaste ~ T

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