As my eyes lay closed this morning, my mind’s eye imagined lying in my bed back in the bedroom of my marital home. The image and especially the feelings of nostalgia that surfaced were almost immediately met with an excessively large dose of suppressive fire in an attempt to “knock out” this feeling. Instead of dying under the reign of bullets, the nostalgia bucked up in its own defense in an equal amount of resistance.
When I recognized what I was doing, amazing considering my half-awakened state, I stopped the assault on my feelings and allowed them their natural course. Within less than a minute of getting out of my own way, the nostalgia disappeared. By allowing myself to feel what needed to be acknowledged, I set myself free to then choose differently. No longer fighting my own civil war by fighting my feelings, I can now choose to use my energy to move forward. Now looking back, the winter holidays were filled with nostalgia that I met with painful responses to suppress. I chose to suffer instead of release…
Just as the arrow is drawn back with the bowstring prior to its release, if we can allow ourselves to move backwards into the feelings that come up, we find we are only there for a moment before we propel forward. So often we resist the backwards movement, thus we miss the next opportunity to advance. Be the arrow that springs forward.