For How Long Do You Suffer?

The keys to our freedom are in our hands. Yet so often we ignore them, brush them off, put them to the side or outright deny them. The keys to our freedom rest in our willingness to walk into and sit with the paradox of our dilemmas. We have been taught to avoid our own shadows, our fears, the things that go bump in the night and wake us up. Yet it is in the darkness that we have the potential for growth. Seeds sprout and take root in the dark. Our creativity is also borne out of our willingness to take a walk on our own dark sides.

So for how long will you suffer your fears? Carrying them around on your back, on your chest, weighing you down and keeping you from your greatness?

It is through walking into the pain that releases it and allows us to grow into something greater. The release is in the surrender; in the trust that we will survive our emotions, our inner conflicts and paradoxes.

One of the great cosmic jokes is that in embracing our pain, we are finally able to be free of it.

Images: google

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It’s Time to Wake Up

Many of us are hibernating our greatness inside the shells of our fears. It is time to wake up to our greatest potential. Open your heart and mind to yourself. Love the hurts. Love the many faces and facets of yourself that have hurt and that have been hurt. Allow the past to be the past. Be willing to forgive others and yourself for any trespasses. Look into your shadow and love each bit of you as much as you can. The more you can love you the more you can be compassionate with others. 

Love the parts of you that get irritated when you see something amiss in another. Unconditional love is what we’re going for here. 

Release the conditions of your own parole. Release the conditions of the bondage of your soul. 

Be willing to wake up and be vulnerable. Guarding and hiding is no longer serving humanity. It’s time to wake up. Let slip off the shell of your fears. 

When you begin to ask yourself “what is wrong with me?,” change perspective and instead ask “What is it that’s trying to break through in me? What is it that’s trying to emerge?” The former closes your heart and the latter helps to keep it open. This leads you to the next level of awareness and creativity instead of holding you back in the slumber of fears. 

For the sake of humanity, wake the eff up and learn to love the person in the mirror. It starts with you! ❤️


Breaking the Ties to Our Emotional Pain

When we walk through life carrying the pains of old relationships, we begin to become weighed down by them. These old wounds and hurts lead us to be unable or unwilling to engage with new people who come into our lives who want to connect with us. In these ways, the pains caused in the past continue to create new wounds, keeping us from moving forward and even preventing connections in the present.

Releasing the pain caused by the past can be a tough choice to make, as we feel we must remain connected with that person in some way. This pain becomes an albatross. It really only serves to keep us imprisioned in our suffering. 

Sometimes we long for a way to release the pain and need a healthy way to do so. Here I will discuss several methods that I often use to break these bonds of pain. Choose the ones which speak most loudly to you.

Burn letters

I call these burn letters for two reasons: 1. They are written with the intention of burning them, 2. Their purpose is to say any and everything that needs to be said and at times may seem like you are ‘burning’ the other person with your anger. 

The steps here are simple. Take out traditional pen and paper. Then write until you feel a strong sense of release. It may take several pages. Keep writing  until you feel you’ve gotten something off of your chest. 

Sometimes I find these letters begin with one intention and change direction. For instance, in a letter I recently penned, I discovered I was more angry with myself than the original person. Also another time when writing a burn letter to the ex-husband, at the end it turned into a letter of gratitude. Later I burned the burn letter, minus the gratitude letter. 

The point with the burn letters is to write until there is a feeling of a shift in energy. Perhaps you feel a palpable release, or you feel gratitude or another shift altogether …. fill in the blank.

Please remember to be diligent in protecting yourself and others by practicing fire safety if and when you do choose to burn your letter. 

This past weekend it was brought to my attention that the pain caused by a bad date was affecting my ability to relate with another date. After a day of walking around in my confusion, i sat down and began to pour my anger out about the bad date onto a page of innocent spiral-bound paper. I said all the things that were hurting my heart. 

Suddenly,  I recognized that I was very  angry with myself. So I wrote a letter to myself on the same page. After all of my grievances were properly aired, I emotionally and physically felt relieved. I slept better that night than I had in many weeks, finally breaking the pattern of insomnia. 

This shit works, if you allow it to. The more vulnerable and honest you can be, the more of a shift you will see. 

Heart Meditation 

The love of the heart heals when the doors to the heart are allowed to open. This meditation can be used to heal the part of you that this person has hurt. You could also use this meditation to heal the person who has hurt you. Either way, you are allowing love where there was once only pain. I use this meditation daily in some capacity. 

Marianne Williamson, author of A Return to Love has a guided meditation that I often perform at the end of my day, even though it takes only about 5 minutes to perform, I have found it very effective. It is available here on YouTube.

Cutting cords

This method is best performed in a well-grounded meditative state. This also requires more focus and this may be better performed by those who meditate on a regular basis. 

See the other person in your mind’s eye as you become aware of any cords or hooks that travel between your body and theirs. You may find that the part of your body that hurts is where a cord is attached. There may be more than one cord or hook, as well. Imagine disconnecting that cord from your body. You can then ask the other person, in your mind, if they are ready to let go of the cords. If they are you can then imagine the cord being discarded and burned or taken to heaven by Angels. If they choose to hold onto the cord, respect their wishes. They are not ready yet.

Another cord cutting method is to ask Archangel Michael to cut the cords and remove the hooks for you. Because of our free will, divine intervention only occurs when we request it.

Both methods may need to be repeated over time while your heart heals. Whenever we share pain, worry or misery with another, these cords are recreated. 

Disconnecting from pain

There is no need to carry around the pain and wounds from others. It does not serve you and it does not serve them. These pains also prevent us from opening our hearts to others who choose to remain in our lives. Sometimes the only way to move past the pain is to walk right the fuck through it. 

Namaste ya’ll

Images: google 

Gratitude Changes Everything

It was Monday morning and my household had a severe case of the Mundays (See the movie Office Space for the full reference, caution: it will make you laugh). For most of the morning there was much bickering and it reached a peak on the way to the bus stop. It began to shift when I clearly remember thinking that what we were doing was not working. Then we turned a corner, both literally and figuratively.

The rays from the rising sun streamed through the fence boards as I was filled with the inspiration to share with my children the things about them for which I was grateful. Following my lead, we each began to heartfully thank one another instead of bickering. I wish I could remember the words we each spoke that morning (it feels so long ago). Truthfully, the words did not really matter; it was the feeling of the words that mattered most: gratitude.

That night and the next morning, I continued to share my gratitude with my children for their behaviors; things shifted even more. My 9 year old daughter noticed that the dishwasher was filled with clean dishes and she began to put the clean dishes away. She also packed her lunch without my imploring her to. I was astounded and a warm smile spread across my face and heart. Of course I shared with her that I was grateful for her help. I may have even held back a few tears.

In feeling appreciated, my daughter went above and beyond what I expected of her and she did the things that I usually have to nag her to do in the morning, without my need to do so. It’s amazing how much such a small token of appreciation can do! Her brother may need a little more time to catch on, however, we get what we pay attention to. So now I will turn on more gratitude for when he does well and helps us get out the door on time.

I will add that this gratitude shift did start a bit ago when, instead of asking my children about their days, I began to ask them what they were grateful for that day. There have also been other times where, when they were bickering, I interrupted the arguments by asking each of them to state things they were grateful for about the other sibling. When they each heard that they were appreciated for being themselves, they opened their hearts to love instead of closing them in lack, fear and anger.

Gratitude opens the heart. The more open the heart is to love, the more we can find things for which we are grateful.

Namaste

The most amazing part of this was that last night when picking up my children my daughter shared that she purposefully left their tablet at their father’s house that morning because she enjoyed being tablet-free the last time they were over. They will not have the tablet again for another 5 days, when they return to their father’s home. For me, that was a parenting win! There is SO much strife over the tablet. To hear both of my kids say that they enjoyed last week without the tablet made my heart grow 3 sizes. I shared with them that my heart was smiling and very grateful!

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Healers, You May be Missing the Point

So many of us in the healing community will bend over backwards to help others in need, even complete strangers. Yet, so often we fail to take care of ourselves. We are often overweight, arthritic and in deep emotional pain ourselves. If so, then we are missing several important points in our healing practices. 

With each healing modality I have learned from Healing Touch to Reiki to Oneness Blessings, inductees were taught to work on ourselves first. The more clear we are as channels for Universal Healing energies, the more helpful we can be to those with whom we are working.

While we may perform these “heal thyself” rituals just prior to helping another, it seems that we are failing to take the time to truly heal ourselves outside of our craft, and even fully during our sessions. This shows up in our physical and emotional bodies.

In my experience, having spent a great deal of my life overweight, extra pounds represent the feelings of shame for my needs, shame for existing, and protection from others. 

Fat is an insulator. It keeps our energies stuck inside of us and also keeps the energies of others away from us. I also feel that this extra weight seals in our anger and sadness. 

If you’re carrying extra weight, where are you unhappy? Marianne Williamson’s book A Course in Weight Loss: 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever is a fantastic resource for learning how to change how we feel.

Bodily pains, in my experience, represent where the energy is dense and not moving, or moving minimally. This seems to stem from a lack of love. Our physical bodies are the physical manifestation of our mind. So one must then be willing to ask, “what is it that I fear?” Louise Hay writes about this in You Can Heal Your Life

What I’ve noticed is that the more flexible I’ve become spiritually, the more flexible my physical body has become; without me doing Yoga or other stretches. Following an evening where I came to terms with some of my suppressed anger (there was a lot), I was able the next day to touch my toes for the first time without extensive stretching. My anger was keeping my body rigid. It was keeping me stuck.

To be a more clear channel, we must keep our own conduits clean. Bodily and emotional pain are our wake up call that we’re ignoring something. 

Another important point that many of us seem to miss is that the person we are truly needing to heal is oneself. When we heal the aspect of the other person within us, then we heal both them and ourselves simultaneously. When we just focus on the other person, we are missing the point. 

As healers, our first priority is to heal ourselves throughout the healing session. This can be a challenge, as we must first be willing to see that we carry an aspect of that person within ourselves. When doing healing or prayers, if you can see the other person within you, and heal that aspect within you, you will be more than doubling your healing dollarOtherwise you and your clients are missing out on the buy-one-get-one-free deals of the century! Who wants to miss out on BOGO? A perfect example to which I’m speaking can be found in the concept of Ho’Oponopono and can be explained in Zero Limits by Joe Vitale. 

Ho’Oponopono Prayer

I love you. I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.

The main concept here is that the more you can love and forgive yourself, the more you can love and forgive others. You may now go forth and heal thyselfEach and every time, without exception! 

Namaste 

Dream Analysis Part IV: Accepting the Change

This is Part IV of a 4-5 part series about dream analysis based on the book Inner Work: Using Dreams & Active Imagination for Personal Growth by Jungian analyst Robert A. Johnson.

In this fourth and final step of dream analysis we take action on our interpretation of the dream. Johnson refers to this as a ritual. At first I had mixed feelings when I began to read this chapter as I found I was triggered by the word ritual. Johnson spends quite a bit of time explaining how rituals are ceremonies of change. Weddings, funerals, graduation celebrations and other rites of passage anchor the changes and growth that occur with life’s transitions.

In this step, we are charged with moving the dream from the mind – from the cerebral cortex – and here we activate our muscles and do something. The actions we take are symbolic and help us to anchor the change or new acceptance into our lives. Something as simple as lighting a candle with the intention of living in the message of the dream can be the ritual that is needed. Johnson gives examples in the book that may help to spark other ideas. Next I will share with you several things that I did to anchor in my new essence.

Accepting the Change

First, even before I fully interpreted the dream, I knew on some level that I was needing to become decisive on a relationship that I knew was not headed in the direction I wanted. So I changed the nature of the relationship. He later thanked me, as he was feeling the same way.

Then I wrote him a letter, pouring out many of my grievances as well as my gratitude. Then I burned the letter. I also smudged mysrlfvsnd my home by burning Palo Santo wood, adding frankincense and mhyrr to a charcoal round.

Later that day, I took a 6 mile hike alone feeling my power and fire grow in my belly. I would focus on my solar plexus as often as possible. When I felt the need to stretch, I stepped onto a side trail and did several of my favorite power inducing Yoga poses: Warrior I, Warrior II & Triangle. I chose a spot where the sun was shining through the trees. I felt the fire of Kali move through me as I anchored these changes. It also didn’t matter to me that others were walking by: I was standing out.

This week, I added the lighting of a yellow candle in the morning while getting ready for work. As I light the candle, I say to myself, “today and every day I live fully in my power.”

I share these different things I’ve done to help give you ideas that may spark creativity in your own expression of your dreams. Hopefully you have found this process helpful in seeing how important your dreams can be in your own personal growth, and how to understand the messages your unconscious is sending to you every night to guide the way. 

Be patient with yourself as you go through this process. It took me nearly 2 months on this, my first dream, to pull all of the pieces together. In between there were times where I just put the dream aside. Sweet dreams of growth to you!

Namaste: in the light and darkness 

drowning

i said i wanted to learn to swim
so you threw me into the deep end.

i made it to the edge again
exhausted & weary, barely breathing.

when i said let’s do this more slowly
you threw me into the ocean blue

the waves took me under
i struggled & struggled

disoriented, i swam downwards
unable to following the rising bubbles

overwhelmed, i felt myself drowning
you didn’t see me struggle; ignored pleas to slow down

caught in a riptide, cast out to sea
i wondered, did you ever hear me?

drowning, my please to learn to swim
escaped my lips as gurgles & bubbles

maybe i need a new instructor
one who doesn’t leave me drowning…