Breaking the Ties to Our Emotional Pain

When we walk through life carrying the pains of old relationships, we begin to become weighed down by them. These old wounds and hurts lead us to be unable or unwilling to engage with new people who come into our lives who want to connect with us. In these ways, the pains caused in the past continue to create new wounds, keeping us from moving forward and even preventing connections in the present.

Releasing the pain caused by the past can be a tough choice to make, as we feel we must remain connected with that person in some way. This pain becomes an albatross. It really only serves to keep us imprisioned in our suffering. 

Sometimes we long for a way to release the pain and need a healthy way to do so. Here I will discuss several methods that I often use to break these bonds of pain. Choose the ones which speak most loudly to you.

Burn letters

I call these burn letters for two reasons: 1. They are written with the intention of burning them, 2. Their purpose is to say any and everything that needs to be said and at times may seem like you are ‘burning’ the other person with your anger. 

The steps here are simple. Take out traditional pen and paper. Then write until you feel a strong sense of release. It may take several pages. Keep writing  until you feel you’ve gotten something off of your chest. 

Sometimes I find these letters begin with one intention and change direction. For instance, in a letter I recently penned, I discovered I was more angry with myself than the original person. Also another time when writing a burn letter to the ex-husband, at the end it turned into a letter of gratitude. Later I burned the burn letter, minus the gratitude letter. 

The point with the burn letters is to write until there is a feeling of a shift in energy. Perhaps you feel a palpable release, or you feel gratitude or another shift altogether …. fill in the blank.

Please remember to be diligent in protecting yourself and others by practicing fire safety if and when you do choose to burn your letter. 

This past weekend it was brought to my attention that the pain caused by a bad date was affecting my ability to relate with another date. After a day of walking around in my confusion, i sat down and began to pour my anger out about the bad date onto a page of innocent spiral-bound paper. I said all the things that were hurting my heart. 

Suddenly,  I recognized that I was very  angry with myself. So I wrote a letter to myself on the same page. After all of my grievances were properly aired, I emotionally and physically felt relieved. I slept better that night than I had in many weeks, finally breaking the pattern of insomnia. 

This shit works, if you allow it to. The more vulnerable and honest you can be, the more of a shift you will see. 

Heart Meditation 

The love of the heart heals when the doors to the heart are allowed to open. This meditation can be used to heal the part of you that this person has hurt. You could also use this meditation to heal the person who has hurt you. Either way, you are allowing love where there was once only pain. I use this meditation daily in some capacity. 

Marianne Williamson, author of A Return to Love has a guided meditation that I often perform at the end of my day, even though it takes only about 5 minutes to perform, I have found it very effective. It is available here on YouTube.

Cutting cords

This method is best performed in a well-grounded meditative state. This also requires more focus and this may be better performed by those who meditate on a regular basis. 

See the other person in your mind’s eye as you become aware of any cords or hooks that travel between your body and theirs. You may find that the part of your body that hurts is where a cord is attached. There may be more than one cord or hook, as well. Imagine disconnecting that cord from your body. You can then ask the other person, in your mind, if they are ready to let go of the cords. If they are you can then imagine the cord being discarded and burned or taken to heaven by Angels. If they choose to hold onto the cord, respect their wishes. They are not ready yet.

Another cord cutting method is to ask Archangel Michael to cut the cords and remove the hooks for you. Because of our free will, divine intervention only occurs when we request it.

Both methods may need to be repeated over time while your heart heals. Whenever we share pain, worry or misery with another, these cords are recreated. 

Disconnecting from pain

There is no need to carry around the pain and wounds from others. It does not serve you and it does not serve them. These pains also prevent us from opening our hearts to others who choose to remain in our lives. Sometimes the only way to move past the pain is to walk right the fuck through it. 

Namaste ya’ll

Images: google 

Published by Tiffany

Writing out my thoughts has helped me to gain a new perspective of myself. In sharing these writings, it is my hope to help others to better understand themselves. It is my belief that with each of us who chooses this path of greater understanding of thy self, that it inspires others to do the same. This building momentum is the force that drives me to share, for in my vulnerability, I find my strength. I believe that you can also find yours there. ~~~In reading some of my posts, you will see that growth is not always pretty. It is in breaking apart and coming undone that a seed sprouts and breaks free of its own captivity. It is also out of mud that the lotus blossoms. ~~~Please join me in seeing the beauty of growth within the deconstruction of our limiting beliefs. ~~T.C.

11 thoughts on “Breaking the Ties to Our Emotional Pain

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Healing Your Heart From Within

Decided to dance a little deeper in life, and wow can spirit dance!


True tales over 50

Phoenix Inspiring

Believe it's Possible!


Wandering Towards Faith Am I

other mind press

...poetry and other musings




Our small family living in a 5th wheel following Dads work as a rock fall technician... what could go wrong?

Damon Ashworth Psychology

Clinical Psychologist

Set Sail

Lets share a journey

The Dolly Mama

FROM MY HEART TO YOURS...hope and healing (with a little humor along the way)

How I Lost My Chains

I've Learned The Most Unlearning Everything I've Ever Known

Ignite with Thato

Unleash your Greatness

Write your Destiny

The Reader's World


Reflections on transcending my diagnosis of a mental illness...

Healing Your Heart From Within

Decided to dance a little deeper in life, and wow can spirit dance!

Path of Self Love School

understanding ourselves to be free

%d bloggers like this: