Others are Our Mirrors

People are in our lives for us to learn from them. Within our relationships we have the ability to learn great lessons about ourselves. Sometimes this can be a lesson in love. Other times we have difficult lessons to learn to show us where we love-not. Regardless of the nature of the lesson, the way others treat us is a direct reflection of the way we are treating ourselves. 

As many times as I’ve learned this, it often remains elusive in that I get caught in the mode of asking myself why someone is doing something to me. This is the voice of the victim. In truth, we will not only allow others to treat us any worse than we treat ourselves. So when we recognize this, we can begin to choose differently.

We often seek from others the things we believe we cannot give to ourselves. We see in how others treat us a glimpse of how we treat ourselves. So if you want to be treated better by others, investigate where you are treating yourself poorly and chose to change how you treat yourself. When we love and respect ourselves, we then bring into our lives people who can love and respect us. 

Image: google

Many Lives Many Masters

When you just don’t know what to do or think…

There are times in life where you just don’t or can’t know what is the right path to take nor the right things to think. You just don’t know what to do and sometimes you might find that this irks you. I seem to be in this place more often than I’d like to admit to even myself lately. 

When I find myself here, I write, meditate, and turn to books on “letting go” of attachments. I also have a “God box” where I place specific and sometimes general prayers to help me to allow the situation to move through. 

It can be a challenge at times to fully surrender. Yet, truly the situations are out of my hands. It is up to me to change my perception to one of trust that all things will work out as they should. In the end, they always do. 

It just can be a real challenge in the midst of awaiting a solution or a clear action to take to allow things (like a budding rose) to bloom and unfold. Patience is a virtue that I sometimes feel I missed. I must have been in the wrong line at the time it was being given out ­čÖé 


  • I am in the process of allowing things to unfold according to Divine Plan.
  • I am in the process of trusting that all will work out in the end.
  • I am in the process of awaiting a clear action to take. 
  • I am in the process of allowing a new perspective to this situation. 

Images: google 

Willing to Trust

Trust can be elusive. Many of us have had our trust and faith broken by life and those in it. The result is the inability to be open to trusting that others have more than their own self-interests in mind. 

We also carry distrust for ourselves. We become unwilling to have faith in what our guts tell us. This lack of trust leads us to disconnect or not connect fully with ourselves and others. While we may interact and be involved, we hold back. We isolate parts of ourselves. Aspects of ourselves are held hostage in fear of being seen and appreciated. We suffer. Our relationships suffer, because we are not fully living; we are holding back. 

Today, how can you be willing to trust yourself a little bit more? For when you can trust you, you will find that you can more easily trust others. What are you afraid of? 

“I am in the process of trusting myself.” It all begins within. 

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them. ~ Ernest Hemingway 


All of this Anger

This past week I have been chipping away bit by bit at a humongous block of anger and resentment. The posts I have written during this time have been realizations I have had as I’ve worked at chipping away. Yet, a good bit of the anger, resentment and even sadness still remained. So today I’m going to do my best to dive into the depths of this pain, to give it a voice and validation; to set myself free. 

Due to several events in my life, I have felt unappreciated, even depreciated. The resentment soon follows and builds fresh wounds that ooze instead of soothe. All this anger builds up inside and blocks my ability to sleep, to fully appreciate the flowers and the things that are going well. Now, it’s not all bad, as I do appreciate the good things more than I would have, say 2 months ago. However, in attempting to push away the anger and resentment, I also kept some (not all) more positive experiences and feelings away. 

So today I step back and look at what I’ve created. A shield instead of a coat of armor. By blocking the seemingly bad, I’m also blocking the things I want more of in my life. It numbs me and robs me of my right to more fully be me. 

Sinking into the layers of the pain, I allow the anger its voice; “just be,” I tell me. To get through, I remember to keep loving me; allowing the anger that is part (not all) of me to be. A physical wound doesn’t heal faster nor go away just because we want it to. It must be given its course, love and space emotional wounds will do what they need to do.

Once again I now emerge with a new sense of freedom and a new clarity of my voice. Just by allowing my feelings to be. 


Loving Yourself in Spite of Yourself

At first glance it may sound odd to love yourself in spite of yourself. Yet so often in life we withhold love from ourselves when we need it the most. It’s as if we can only love ourselves and give ourselves compassion when things are going well. When we are upset with ourselves, however, for being (of all things) upset, we withdraw from ourselves the very things that we need most in those moments: love and compassion. 

So where are you holding back and not giving to yourself the very thing that you need; love unconditionally? How can you show yourself just an ounce more love right now? Open your heart to yourself. Go ahead, you have nothing but your suffering to lose! 


Strategies for Letting Go

One of the hardest things we can do is to truly trust and let go. In our fear, we hold on with a vise grip to our pasts, our expectations, our pain and control; to name but a few. This past week, I have had two life coaching calls with two different life coaches to help me through this process of letting go. I value both coaches and they both have different approaches; both are valuable to me for different reasons. 

When I get stuck and feel that I need a bit of tough love, I turn to my life coach Comfy Crystal. I seek out Crystal’s support when I need a kick start. She also knows my history as she and I are family. Crystal uses forgiveness of others and self to assist with letting go. 

Maggie Lukowski has a different approach that is also very helpful to me in that she pulls from me my motivation. Her approach is more nurturing and “touchy feely,” a listen-to-your-heart type of coaching. She showed me that I can let go by beginning my intentions with the phrase, “I am in the process of __________.” This simple and effective phrase helps me to remember that mistakes are okay, and maybe even helpful, in taking my next step. 

So if you are feeling stuck in your ability to let go of some aspect of your life, you may benefit both from the techniques I’ve shared as well as contacting a life coach. Of course, I’d recommend my life coaches.  No, I’m not receiving any kickbacks or favors for endorsing them. 

May we all learn a new way today to let go of the things that trouble us. 

We are What We Think 

Our thoughts about ourselves and our world create our reality. Just as goal-oriented people and athletes envision the successful completion of a goal or event, we too must envision the goals we would like to achieve. Just as taking a cross-country trip involves seeing our destination so that we can take the steps to get there, seeing and feeling who we want to be allows us to take the steps to live that dream. 

Everything in life is first created in the mind. The device through which you are receiving this message most likely didn’t exist 5-10 years ago. It was first a concept, then a series of drafts and somewhere there was a proto-type and beta testing. The point here is that before we can live the reality, we first create it in our minds. It is crucial, however, to understand all aspects of the mind: the conscious parts are easy, the unconscious ones can be a challenge. To understand our shadow aspects helps us to create more and more from a greater state of awareness, instead of from a state of denial. 

Believing is Seeing. 

For so many years I told myself that I was fat and I became just that: fat. By feeling and telling myself how terrible I was, I became my own worst enemy; the one that I created.

So what are you telling yourself about you and your world? How can you begin to shift your focus onto what you do want in your life so that you can create action steps to become that person? 

Go forth into your greatness! By seeing and believing in it first.

Be Yourself: Spiral Out & ´╗┐Keep Going

The song Lateralus by Tool sings to the depths of my soul. Not only is Maynard James Keenan a lyrical and musical genius (see YouTube, below), he also captures in a very simple and meaningful way the process of spiritual birth and growth in this one, very beautiful and poetic song. 

From the “black and white” conscience of unawakened duality to a budding awareness where one begins to see in colors and from a broader more spiritual and accepting perspective, MJK covers all bases eloquently. From overthinking and the separation of the body from the mind, to using One’s intuition while spiraling and reaching out into new realms and dimensions; opening to infinite possibilities. MJK encourages us to reach outside the box. Pretty effing amazing in my humble opinion. 

Halfway through the song, Maynard’s lyrics encourage us to feel the rhythm, be connected and fathom the beauty. To me, this speaks to our need to find our own individual voices: to follow whatever will bewilder and inspire us. 

If we cannot speak with our own voices then we are not being true to ourselves nor to any other human being. Embrace your divinity & still be a human. Find your voice and speak it. Sing it, be it. 

So here I raise a toast to each of us to “spiral out, keep going & push the envelope, watch it bend.” So be it!

Many thanks to MJK for his willingness to follow his voice, spiral out and share both his humanity and divinity with us. 


Images: Google

Gratitude Heals´╗┐ the Heavy Heart


Last night I was working through some past hurts by writing them out in a burn letter. I was having a challenge keeping my heart open for myself as I thought of the individuals with whom I was still holding grievances. In my mind I kept hearing one of my favorite sayings, “The open heart heals what grief closes.”

Gratitude can only open the heart. I knew this and yet it can be a sideways pill to swallow; to find gratitude when we are feeling our hurts. Yet this is where our strength and power lay, in our ability to change our perception and rise above something. So how could I climb that hill when my heart was laden with the heaviness of my hurts? I struggled to find the magical key to crack open the door to my heart.

After airing my grievances off and on for most of the day, pouring out my heart into the written pages of my journal, I simply wrote and felt the following phrase that freed and unlocked it all for me: Thank you for being you ______, so that I could be me. Once I recognized that these individuals were in my life to help me to find that my strength was within me all along, I was able to fly freely.


So please, find a way to air your grievances. Get the yuck out and then find a way to see it all in a different way. What about that situation or relationship allowed you to grow? What can you be grateful for?

Here’s another one that comes up when a potential beau exists stage-right, “Thank you for saving me the trouble of dating you.”

Our freedom from our own suffering is within our grasp. We always have the power to choose to see life differently. 



Images: Google

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