People are in our lives for us to learn from them. Within our relationships we have the ability to learn great lessons about ourselves. Sometimes this can be a lesson in love. Other times we have difficult lessons to learn to show us where we love-not. Regardless of the nature of the lesson, the way others treat us is a direct reflection of the way we are treating ourselves.
As many times as I’ve learned this, it often remains elusive in that I get caught in the mode of asking myself why someone is doing something to me. This is the voice of the victim. In truth, we will not only allow others to treat us any worse than we treat ourselves. So when we recognize this, we can begin to choose differently.
We often seek from others the things we believe we cannot give to ourselves. We see in how others treat us a glimpse of how we treat ourselves. So if you want to be treated better by others, investigate where you are treating yourself poorly and chose to change how you treat yourself. When we love and respect ourselves, we then bring into our lives people who can love and respect us.
Many Lives Many Masters
There are times in life where you just don’t or can’t know what is the right path to take nor the right things to think. You just don’t know what to do and sometimes you might find that this irks you. I seem to be in this place more often than I’d like to admit to even myself lately.
When I find myself here, I write, meditate, and turn to books on “letting go” of attachments. I also have a “God box” where I place specific and sometimes general prayers to help me to allow the situation to move through.
It can be a challenge at times to fully surrender. Yet, truly the situations are out of my hands. It is up to me to change my perception to one of trust that all things will work out as they should. In the end, they always do.
It just can be a real challenge in the midst of awaiting a solution or a clear action to take to allow things (like a budding rose) to bloom and unfold. Patience is a virtue that I sometimes feel I missed. I must have been in the wrong line at the time it was being given out 🙂
- I am in the process of allowing things to unfold according to Divine Plan.
- I am in the process of trusting that all will work out in the end.
- I am in the process of awaiting a clear action to take.
- I am in the process of allowing a new perspective to this situation.
Trust can be elusive. Many of us have had our trust and faith broken by life and those in it. The result is the inability to be open to trusting that others have more than their own self-interests in mind.
We also carry distrust for ourselves. We become unwilling to have faith in what our guts tell us. This lack of trust leads us to disconnect or not connect fully with ourselves and others. While we may interact and be involved, we hold back. We isolate parts of ourselves. Aspects of ourselves are held hostage in fear of being seen and appreciated. We suffer. Our relationships suffer, because we are not fully living; we are holding back.
Today, how can you be willing to trust yourself a little bit more? For when you can trust you, you will find that you can more easily trust others. What are you afraid of?
“I am in the process of trusting myself.” It all begins within.
The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them. ~ Ernest Hemingway
This past week I have been chipping away bit by bit at a humongous block of anger and resentment. The posts I have written during this time have been realizations I have had as I’ve worked at chipping away. Yet, a good bit of the anger, resentment and even sadness still remained. So today I’m going to do my best to dive into the depths of this pain, to give it a voice and validation; to set myself free.
Due to several events in my life, I have felt unappreciated, even depreciated. The resentment soon follows and builds fresh wounds that ooze instead of soothe. All this anger builds up inside and blocks my ability to sleep, to fully appreciate the flowers and the things that are going well. Now, it’s not all bad, as I do appreciate the good things more than I would have, say 2 months ago. However, in attempting to push away the anger and resentment, I also kept some (not all) more positive experiences and feelings away.
So today I step back and look at what I’ve created. A shield instead of a coat of armor. By blocking the seemingly bad, I’m also blocking the things I want more of in my life. It numbs me and robs me of my right to more fully be me.
Sinking into the layers of the pain, I allow the anger its voice; “just be,” I tell me. To get through, I remember to keep loving me; allowing the anger that is part (not all) of me to be. A physical wound doesn’t heal faster nor go away just because we want it to. It must be given its course, love and space emotional wounds will do what they need to do.
Once again I now emerge with a new sense of freedom and a new clarity of my voice. Just by allowing my feelings to be.
At first glance it may sound odd to love yourself in spite of yourself. Yet so often in life we withhold love from ourselves when we need it the most. It’s as if we can only love ourselves and give ourselves compassion when things are going well. When we are upset with ourselves, however, for being (of all things) upset, we withdraw from ourselves the very things that we need most in those moments: love and compassion.
So where are you holding back and not giving to yourself the very thing that you need; love unconditionally? How can you show yourself just an ounce more love right now? Open your heart to yourself. Go ahead, you have nothing but your suffering to lose!
One of the hardest things we can do is to truly trust and let go. In our fear, we hold on with a vise grip to our pasts, our expectations, our pain and control; to name but a few. This past week, I have had two life coaching calls with two different life coaches to help me through this process of letting go. I value both coaches and they both have different approaches; both are valuable to me for different reasons.
When I get stuck and feel that I need a bit of tough love, I turn to my life coach Comfy Crystal. I seek out Crystal’s support when I need a kick start. She also knows my history as she and I are family. Crystal uses forgiveness of others and self to assist with letting go.
Maggie Lukowski has a different approach that is also very helpful to me in that she pulls from me my motivation. Her approach is more nurturing and “touchy feely,” a listen-to-your-heart type of coaching. She showed me that I can let go by beginning my intentions with the phrase, “I am in the process of __________.” This simple and effective phrase helps me to remember that mistakes are okay, and maybe even helpful, in taking my next step.
So if you are feeling stuck in your ability to let go of some aspect of your life, you may benefit both from the techniques I’ve shared as well as contacting a life coach. Of course, I’d recommend my life coaches. No, I’m not receiving any kickbacks or favors for endorsing them.
May we all learn a new way today to let go of the things that trouble us.
Our thoughts about ourselves and our world create our reality. Just as goal-oriented people and athletes envision the successful completion of a goal or event, we too must envision the goals we would like to achieve. Just as taking a cross-country trip involves seeing our destination so that we can take the steps to get there, seeing and feeling who we want to be allows us to take the steps to live that dream.
Everything in life is first created in the mind. The device through which you are receiving this message most likely didn’t exist 5-10 years ago. It was first a concept, then a series of drafts and somewhere there was a proto-type and beta testing. The point here is that before we can live the reality, we first create it in our minds. It is crucial, however, to understand all aspects of the mind: the conscious parts are easy, the unconscious ones can be a challenge. To understand our shadow aspects helps us to create more and more from a greater state of awareness, instead of from a state of denial.
Believing is Seeing.
For so many years I told myself that I was fat and I became just that: fat. By feeling and telling myself how terrible I was, I became my own worst enemy; the one that I created.
So what are you telling yourself about you and your world? How can you begin to shift your focus onto what you do want in your life so that you can create action steps to become that person?
Go forth into your greatness! By seeing and believing in it first.