All of this Anger

This past week I have been chipping away bit by bit at a humongous block of anger and resentment. The posts I have written during this time have been realizations I have had as I’ve worked at chipping away. Yet, a good bit of the anger, resentment and even sadness still remained. So today I’m going to do my best to dive into the depths of this pain, to give it a voice and validation; to set myself free. 

Due to several events in my life, I have felt unappreciated, even depreciated. The resentment soon follows and builds fresh wounds that ooze instead of soothe. All this anger builds up inside and blocks my ability to sleep, to fully appreciate the flowers and the things that are going well. Now, it’s not all bad, as I do appreciate the good things more than I would have, say 2 months ago. However, in attempting to push away the anger and resentment, I also kept some (not all) more positive experiences and feelings away. 

So today I step back and look at what I’ve created. A shield instead of a coat of armor. By blocking the seemingly bad, I’m also blocking the things I want more of in my life. It numbs me and robs me of my right to more fully be me. 

Sinking into the layers of the pain, I allow the anger its voice; “just be,” I tell me. To get through, I remember to keep loving me; allowing the anger that is part (not all) of me to be. A physical wound doesn’t heal faster nor go away just because we want it to. It must be given its course, love and space emotional wounds will do what they need to do.

Once again I now emerge with a new sense of freedom and a new clarity of my voice. Just by allowing my feelings to be. 

Namaste 

16 thoughts on “All of this Anger

  1. Yes anger can be poison in the body if held in on the adverse it can be detrimental if not handle appropriately when you let it out. There is a healthy anger and there is a detrimental anger. Keep chipping away you will get there.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this. I was stuck in anger and resentment for years. I think the best thing is that we admit it. And then find ways to release it. I also think having it validated helps because then we don’t have to stuff it back inside again which is a bit like having to swallow regurgitated vomit (sorry for the gritty analogy but it seems to ring true.) You will get to the other side one day!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for appreciating this! And yes, when I’m this lit up I almost literally want to projective vomit as if I were hurling a Rock at someone. So gritty or not, I understand the analogy even more πŸ™‚ thank you for your encouragement. This piece was quite cathartic and helped shift for me most of what remained.

      Like

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