Tapping Out on Emotional Overload

Last week a good friend reminded me about the benefits of EFT or “tapping” to help with difficult emotions. Her reminder was perfect timing for me as I was in the throes of coping with a mother load of anger. While I meditate multiple times a times and have other stress-reducing self-care routines, the erupting volcano required more than my “usual” self-care and meditation to manage.

I’ve had used EFT in the past and each time I’ve found it to be incredibly transformative. It is my hope that you will find some use to this technique, as it really helps to gain freedom from overwhelming emotions. EFT can also be used to support both the development and reinforcement of positive thoughts and habits, too.

Please see the YouTube video below, which has both the following written description as well as a walk-through of the EFT technique.

Before beginning, identify and then rate the intensity level of the emotion you are wanting to change on a scale of 0-10. Then think of how you want to phrase what you are feeling. In the video, my feelings were on anxiety and nervousness.

Here is the initial phrase you use while rubbing your chest:

Even though I feel this _________________, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Repeat this 3 times before the next step.

Then repeat “this __________” on each area while tapping with your index and middle fingers about 7 times each on the:

crown of your head (1 hand)

Inside eyebrow

Outside eyebrow

Under your eyes

Under your nose

On your chin

Under your collarbones

On the bottom of your ribcage

(Personally, I run through the tapping part 3 -4 times before I reassess.)

Now, assess the emotional level and determine if you need to repeat the tapping sequence from the top.

Feel free to experiment and see what unwanted feelings you can tap away. Sometimes being more specific can help clear more thoroughly.

May this technique help you to find a greater sense of peace within.

Namaste & Happy Tapping

(I’m still working on the thumbnail frames. Mobile app isn’t as friendly lol)

Anger’s Lessons

The shifts from this week have lead to me to the awareness of a significant amount of suppressed anger and sadness. While the events that lead to this awareness were seemingly innocuous, they did their job in uncovering the hidden well of emotions. It was in giving myself permission to feel my emotions that the well was tapped.

Sorting through the initial upwelling, I saw patterns emerge. Boundary violations, perceived indiscretions and abandonment were common threads. Digging deeper I found that the Golden thread in each of these scenarios was myself. As I felt this, I literally hit my bed. I gave myself permission to have a good ol’ fashioned temper tantrum.

In round two of my delving, I found that pure emotion rose up. There were not as many memories or images or impressions to go along with the anger, sadness and grief that I felt. It was just plain raw, yet needed to be allowed and felt.

Walking through as much as I could, I was breathing easier once again. And after releasing the feelings to my Higher Power, I slept somewhat restlessly.

The next morning I felt off center and while the horizons within were expanded, the edges still felt serrated. Sitting in meditation helped, where I also prayed and turned things over again. EFT was a tremendous blessing. If you struggle with difficult emotions or health issues I highly recommend learning about tapping!

Lessons learned about anger:

  • My anger is my responsibility. The stories I tell myself about why I’m angry only keep me stuck in it.
  • Judgment about anger can be more damaging than the emotion itself. By judging we often try to suppress what we’re feeling.
  • Suppressing anger is like compressing a spring. It may make the anger seem smaller, and this is only temporary. Eventually it’s going to spring back up.
  • Foods I like to eat when I’m angry are chewy or gummy, like gum or gummy bears. When I’m frustrated I like crunchy, like chips. These are warning signs that I’m suppressing, as is forceful sighing. Oh, and impatience at the littlest things…
  • Anger is the fuel for change. It can transform us into vehicles for positive changes as anger is part of the spark behind our passions. If we were happy about everything we wouldn’t want to change it nor would we be motivated to do so.
  • Anger can show us where a boundary has been violated.
  • The one person for whom I hold the most anger and unforgiveness is myself.
  • Giving ourselves permission to feel angry and being willing to forgive ourselves and any other trespassers will help get us unstuck.
  • Being angry and acting on that anger are two separate things, if we allow it to be.
  • Letting go and letting our Higher Power step in can be a tremendous relief. Asking for the situation or our perspective to change gives our Higher Power permission to act.
  • Holding onto anger only truly hurts the one holding it (meaning it only hurts me when I am holding onto or suppressing it).
  • Suppressed anger can separate and prevent feeling love or compassion for oneself or even another; this keeps us further separated.
  • Forgiveness and gratitude also help to unlock the gripping effects of suppressed anger. They open our hearts and shine light on the situation.

For me, anger was something I saw as scary, overwhelming and dangerous growing up. It was easier to suppress it than to feel or show it. I also believe that I was socialized to believe that anger wasn’t an acceptable emotion. Now I see how much it hurts me to hold it in, and how it keeps me stuck.

By allowing my anger, without judging or suppressing it, I give myself permission to change my perspectives, my life circumstances and to follow the path of my life purpose; my passion.

A good friend shared a fantastic paradigm shift with me today. To see myself as a superhuman who is able to act (and feel) in no set particular way. It’s okay to make mistakes! That’s how we learn…and teach.

May you begin to find some peace today in allowing your anger. Emotions are energy, they are here to help us to move and be moved. When we judge and suppress them, we set ourselves up for dis-ease. Let’s change that, shall we?!

Namaste

Please seek professional help if your inclination is to harm yourself or others.

Shift Happens: What do you do?

Just as the tides ebb and flow, life is meant to move so that we can grow. When the sands beneath your feet begin to shift, what do you do?

Do you tighten your grip?

Do you let go and trust?

If you’re like me, the first thing you want to do is to dig in, deep. However, with time, I’m learning to relax my grip sooner rather than later; allowing the tides to shift without getting all bent.

What I’m beginning to see, again and again, is that regardless of my fear and gripping that changes unfold accordingly. So what is the purpose of holding on to something I cannot truly influence, anyway?!

Being grounded and being present are helpful when sudden shifts hit. Feeling into the body, any physical sensations can help you to be more present.

Ongoing resilience can be built through meditation and allowing of emotions. While these strategies do not change the life circumstances per se, they can help us to be more flexible when the shifts occur. With greater resilience, we learn to gain trust and grip less.

Just as light, sound and water travel in waves, in life we have ups and downs as a natural ebb and flow of our energies. We will move or be moved. The sands beneath our feet will shift. How we choose to respond can affect how well we shift into the emerging energies. So will you fight it or allow it?

Namaste

Vulnerability

‘Vulnerable’ is derived from the Latin word vulnerabilis  which means “to wound.” Wow! No wonder we so often avoid being or feeling vulnerable at all costs. Recently, it came to my attention that to be or feel vulnerable can feel like standing on the tracks in front of a freight train; to be vulnerable can feel like imminent death.

To avoid feeling vulnerable, I have tried to do control as much about myself, my environment and even others or situations. For instance, when out in public, when I can, I avoid sitting with my back to the door or anyone for that matter.

To trust is to feel vulnerable, so I do my best to avoid that, too. Yet, this keeps me from being where I want to be. It is my desire to be completely open and myself – unfiltered – to do so, I must step up, be vulnerable and step WAY out of my comfort zone! Ultimately, it is the willingness to be vulnerable that allows us to move into our greatness.

Interestingly, I’m writing this on the very day that the scheduled post, The Antidote to Fear which lead to my riding many tsunami waves of fear, most of which were labeled vulnerability. At times, I even fell – literally and figuratively – to my knees and asked for help from my Higher Power. This is something I talked about here, on YouTube. (this is my new project, Self-Care by Cara, and it’s still under construction. please don’t mind the dust and rough looking thumbnails lol)

I also recorded and uploaded this silly YouTube, something which was both fun to do and also made me feel rather vulnerable to share here!

Prayers for all to release the binds that hold us back.

Namaste

P.S. I wanted to create some fancy title for this post and somehow the single word vulnerability being there on it’s own is just the impact that is needed. For me, vulnerability can feel just like that: feeling all alone.

The Antidote to Fear

When we bury, push against or deny our fears, we ultimately give them more power. Our fears then unconsciously control us, keeping us from peace. That is, until we choose to face our fears. Our willingness to face our fears is the first step.

Fear is held in place by holding our breaths, and contracting when the emotion reads its head; whether we’re gripping the fear, pushing it away or hiding from it.

But everything exposed by the light becomes visible–and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.

~Ephesians 5:13

You see the antidote to fear is light. When we allow the fears to surface, while breathing and allowing the emotions to move through us, we release our fears. To face our fears means to walk into the very places we have avoided, to open sealed doors and allow the emotion to move into the light. It is then that it can move through us and away from us.

While breathing and feeling where your body is physically supported:

  • Acknowledge the fear – open the closet doors where it has been hiding
  • Keep breathing while you allow the fear to move through you
  • This may cause you to feel physically, mentally and emotionally uncomfortable. Please stay with the breath and where your body is physically supported
  • The emotions will then move through and release you from its grip. When this happens, you will feel a great sense of peace.
  • Do your best to allow this process to unfold, this will bring you a greater freedom from your fears when you do.

Know that healing happens in layers. This same feeling may come back again to be revisited and released on a deeper level. As much as you can allow the process, the faster you can return to peace. When we question what we’re feeling, we’re questioning our own experience and creating conflict within ourselves.

When we are at war with ourselves, no one wins.

Fear is an emotion. Emotions are energy. They only get stuck when we don’t allow them to be. Facing our fears frees ourselves and others.

Namaste

Image: Inner Conflict by Koby Feldmos

Meet Creative Life Coach, Sam

At different times in our lives, we need a helping hand (or two or more) to help us to grow. In the past, I’ve shared my experiences with how life coaches have helped me in “letting go” and today I’d like to introduce you to my creative life coach, Sam!

I’ve worked with Sam for over a year now on how to expand my creativity. She has helped me to face many of my internal barriers to expressing and being myself. I’m now poised to introduce new avenues of expression that I’ve been working on. (Well, at least in the next month or so, I hope).

There has been an ongoing unfolding of the fears that have kept me from being myself. She was also behind my post on facing my fear of heights. My current assignment may be the toughest yet, ironically, it’s my fear of being my playful self.

I hope you will take the time to check out her site and even to take the leap and contact her. With all she’s helped me through, I’m confident she will be able to help you, too!

Sam, Creative Life Coach

Namaste

This Life is Yours, Embrace It

Each detail of your life is yours to live. It was created just for you (maybe even by you), so that you can learn how to love you. Yet we resist this, don’t we? We each want the wheat, on some level, without having to deal with the chaff. Yet it is within the hard shell (and not outside of it) that we find the seeds of our soul.

This life is ours to live. Each detail: the good, the bad, the ugly. So often we grasp onto what was or some ideal of what we want it to be, that we miss that our power is in the now.

In allowing (and even loving) where we are right now, without blocking it, or how we feel about it, or trying to change it, we open ourselves to new and higher levels of being.

What we resist persists. When we block our emotions, they create within us a battle, a civil war. This creates a stress response and we either fight with or flee from our own energy. Wow! Doesn’t that sound completely exhausting? So where are you blocking your own personal sun from shining?

Where do you “kick the can down the street,” saying to yourself you’ll get to it later or another day?  If not now, then when? Please trust that these words I’m saying to you, I’m shouting at myself. 

It takes the sun, the rain, the earth and the wind to make trees mighty. Where are you shirking your duties?

Namaste

Escaping from the Prison of Perfection

Some of us believe that if we do everything right, or just so, that we can be more happy. That to be in control of our emotions, our thoughts and our actions will lead to greater riches or success. The truth is that perfectionism ends up controlling us and keeps us locked in a prison of our own making.

The escape hatch is within our grasp. It is in identifying the underlying fear that drives us to feel that we must control the external aspects of our lives. The key to the lock is understanding that the freedom and bliss is in letting go of our grasp on the need to control our realities.

When we attempt to control or manipulate the world around us, and the people in our worlds, we essentially place ourselves into a prison of our own making. Our belief in our ability to be happy and free then becomes entangled in what the world and everybody else is (or isn’t) doing. With this external focus, we give away our rights and access to our own peace; for it is in focusing within, on the messages carried within our own hearts, that we find our freedom.

Breaking free of perfection means becoming aware of where we feel we need to block our emotions, to control others, to rush from one activity to another or to rush to complete the next deadline and where we feel afraid to spread into new territories. It means taking off the mask that says, “I am more than human.” It means being moved by our emotions to spread our wings into the winds that carry us into new territories: within and also outside of ourselves.

I write this during a time where I am expanding by breaking small controlling habits by parking in a different place everyday, wearing clothes that are unusual for me, driving to work in different ways, and leading more by example.

And as a human, I’m making many effing mistakes. However, with each detour I also see life from a different view. I’m willing to be more accepting of my emotions and passions.

I also write this at a time where I have seriously stalled on a new project that just a few weeks ago I found great joy and excitement in creating. In some ways, I don’t feel I’m good enough to move forward with it. Not everything is right and so I’ve become stagnant.

While I have expanded in some areas, I’m at a contracted standstill in others. To contract is to hold on while letting go of control is to open into new ways of living and expressing. To “make mistakes” leads to new discoveries. This is something I’ve found here with the blog, now to allow what skill in my new project.

So now I ask of you: What project might be stalled out for you because of your feelings of inadequacy, that you’re not ready, that you don’t have what it takes? Or just simply put, your need for perfection and control? Or maybe a fear of making mistakes? They are all quite similar, indeed.

What are other areas in your life where you can allow for greater expansion? It’s important in some ways to push our own boundaries. This is called growth. To continually contract and hold on is to stagnate.

Please, will you join me in expanding into new territories?

Namaste

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