Escaping from the Prison of Perfection

Some of us believe that if we do everything right, or just so, that we can be more happy. That to be in control of our emotions, our thoughts and our actions will lead to greater riches or success. The truth is that perfectionism ends up controlling us and keeps us locked in a prison of our own making.

The escape hatch is within our grasp. It is in identifying the underlying fear that drives us to feel that we must control the external aspects of our lives. The key to the lock is understanding that the freedom and bliss is in letting go of our grasp on the need to control our realities.

When we attempt to control or manipulate the world around us, and the people in our worlds, we essentially place ourselves into a prison of our own making. Our belief in our ability to be happy and free then becomes entangled in what the world and everybody else is (or isn’t) doing. With this external focus, we give away our rights and access to our own peace; for it is in focusing within, on the messages carried within our own hearts, that we find our freedom.

Breaking free of perfection means becoming aware of where we feel we need to block our emotions, to control others, to rush from one activity to another or to rush to complete the next deadline and where we feel afraid to spread into new territories. It means taking off the mask that says, “I am more than human.” It means being moved by our emotions to spread our wings into the winds that carry us into new territories: within and also outside of ourselves.

I write this during a time where I am expanding by breaking small controlling habits by parking in a different place everyday, wearing clothes that are unusual for me, driving to work in different ways, and leading more by example.

And as a human, I’m making many effing mistakes. However, with each detour I also see life from a different view. I’m willing to be more accepting of my emotions and passions.

I also write this at a time where I have seriously stalled on a new project that just a few weeks ago I found great joy and excitement in creating. In some ways, I don’t feel I’m good enough to move forward with it. Not everything is right and so I’ve become stagnant.

While I have expanded in some areas, I’m at a contracted standstill in others. To contract is to hold on while letting go of control is to open into new ways of living and expressing. To “make mistakes” leads to new discoveries. This is something I’ve found here with the blog, now to allow what skill in my new project.

So now I ask of you: What project might be stalled out for you because of your feelings of inadequacy, that you’re not ready, that you don’t have what it takes? Or just simply put, your need for perfection and control? Or maybe a fear of making mistakes? They are all quite similar, indeed.

What are other areas in your life where you can allow for greater expansion? It’s important in some ways to push our own boundaries. This is called growth. To continually contract and hold on is to stagnate.

Please, will you join me in expanding into new territories?


Published by Tiffany

Writing out my thoughts has helped me to gain a new perspective of myself. In sharing these writings, it is my hope to help others to better understand themselves. It is my belief that with each of us who chooses this path of greater understanding of thy self, that it inspires others to do the same. This building momentum is the force that drives me to share, for in my vulnerability, I find my strength. I believe that you can also find yours there. ~~~In reading some of my posts, you will see that growth is not always pretty. It is in breaking apart and coming undone that a seed sprouts and breaks free of its own captivity. It is also out of mud that the lotus blossoms. ~~~Please join me in seeing the beauty of growth within the deconstruction of our limiting beliefs. ~~T.C.

19 thoughts on “Escaping from the Prison of Perfection

  1. Tiffany, it’s like you’ve read into my mind. Honestly. I can so relate to this. I’ve stalled big time in a major project and it’s basically through fear of making mistakes and those niggling self doubts that have crept back in. Need to push past it. Thank you for this post. Warmest wishes to you my friend. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Miriam, I feel many of us struggle with this and it holds us back… I am confident you will find your way over, around or through this boulder. You certainly do with hiking! Much ❤️ and warm wishes

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It might help to put a post it on your desk or fridge (or both). It’s a tool that is so useful and yet I often find “in the thick of it” that I forget about it… ❤️❤️ big hugs

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Love this! It was very freeing to read this. Imperfect is unique and unique is what each of us are. Grateful to be not perfect… seriously what fun is there in being perfect? Many of my life lessons has come from me being different. Me being less than perfect. Me being me! I love this post. God bless❤️

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for this! Yes! And I love Brene Brown ❤️
        I needed this. Am having some issues w my son and a friend shared how she scheduled everything w her son w similar issues… it didn’t hit my gut right. While I do believe the home should be our safe harbor, I’m starting to feel that complete regimentation doesn’t set him up for real life where little is so controlled. Making things perfect at home… does that support him being flexible in real life? As I write I see that balance is the key 🔑


      2. I also notice that you have a bunch of things about anxiety and fear. So cool. I have written some too. Would love your thoughts on them. When you go to the other post, you can search on the category of anxiety. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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