Some of us believe that if we do everything right, or just so, that we can be more happy. That to be in control of our emotions, our thoughts and our actions will lead to greater riches or success. The truth is that perfectionism ends up controlling us and keeps us locked in a prison of our own making.
The escape hatch is within our grasp. It is in identifying the underlying fear that drives us to feel that we must control the external aspects of our lives. The key to the lock is understanding that the freedom and bliss is in letting go of our grasp on the need to control our realities.
When we attempt to control or manipulate the world around us, and the people in our worlds, we essentially place ourselves into a prison of our own making. Our belief in our ability to be happy and free then becomes entangled in what the world and everybody else is (or isn’t) doing. With this external focus, we give away our rights and access to our own peace; for it is in focusing within, on the messages carried within our own hearts, that we find our freedom.
Breaking free of perfection means becoming aware of where we feel we need to block our emotions, to control others, to rush from one activity to another or to rush to complete the next deadline and where we feel afraid to spread into new territories. It means taking off the mask that says, “I am more than human.” It means being moved by our emotions to spread our wings into the winds that carry us into new territories: within and also outside of ourselves.
I write this during a time where I am expanding by breaking small controlling habits by parking in a different place everyday, wearing clothes that are unusual for me, driving to work in different ways, and leading more by example.
And as a human, I’m making many effing mistakes. However, with each detour I also see life from a different view. I’m willing to be more accepting of my emotions and passions.
I also write this at a time where I have seriously stalled on a new project that just a few weeks ago I found great joy and excitement in creating. In some ways, I don’t feel I’m good enough to move forward with it. Not everything is right and so I’ve become stagnant.
While I have expanded in some areas, I’m at a contracted standstill in others. To contract is to hold on while letting go of control is to open into new ways of living and expressing. To “make mistakes” leads to new discoveries. This is something I’ve found here with the blog, now to allow what skill in my new project.
So now I ask of you: What project might be stalled out for you because of your feelings of inadequacy, that you’re not ready, that you don’t have what it takes? Or just simply put, your need for perfection and control? Or maybe a fear of making mistakes? They are all quite similar, indeed.
What are other areas in your life where you can allow for greater expansion? It’s important in some ways to push our own boundaries. This is called growth. To continually contract and hold on is to stagnate.
Please, will you join me in expanding into new territories?