We are social creatures so seeking connections with others is a natural desire. To connect, we often hide our true selves to avoid rejection – or we “put ourselves out there” and have been or risk being rejected. This places us, on some level, at the mercy of the opinions of others – and our beliefs about what others will or will not accept. We can then begin to fear doing this or that, and thus we imprison ourselves.
What we are forgetting is that each of us has filters through which we see the world. These filters, often created in childhood before we were able to reason, impair our ability to see clearly. We see the world through the lenses of our own suffering. Yet we seek the approval and love of others whose visions are skewed and judgments that are also unjust. This sets each of us up for despair – and we give back the very rejections that we receive. Life then becomes a tangled mess in which we all suffer needlessly.
Breaking free from these limitations requires us to connect with our own inner essence; to appreciate and love ourselves for who we are; to forgive ourselves of our own trespasses. It also requires us to connect with our own Higher Power, where we are truly loved without condition. In so doing, we clear our own lenses. We can then begin to see how others are operating out of the belief of their own brokenness. It is then that we can begin to see others with compassion and forgiveness, helping them to rise above their limiting beliefs, if they choose. This is the path to freedom. Forgiveness and healing begin within.
May we each choose freedom by taking the inner path of love and acceptance. In accepting ourselves, we can no longer hold judgment against others and thus begin to extend our love outwards.
Here is a link to the Insight Timer Course “Free Yourself From Blame & Resentment” by Tara Brach. If you prefer to read, she has several books on self-acceptance that may be helpful, as well.