Much of the first half of my life was spent hiding my perceived flaws and imperfections, even from myself. While it helped me to survive childhood, I’ve found that hiding was keeping me miserable. Through unmasking myself, blogging has gifted me with connecting with others who have also suffered by hiding their perceived flaws. It also helps me gain a new level of understanding by writing the process out further than I would in a paper journal, where I would most likely just vent. Finally, I have found there is transformative power within vulnerability for everyone.
What I share here are personal experiences which more often than not leave me feeling vulnerable in posting. These are first-hand experiences of what I’ve learned through exposing my flaws, often in day-to-day interactions that lead to a new understanding or awareness.
For instance, in the post The Right to Exist, I shared an experience I had that I would have avoided altogether in the past by either not going to such a busy place at a busy time or parking way out of the way to better suit others. Instead, I chose to go there during Starbuck’s morning rush hour and park where it was convenient for me, so that I could meet my needs for a meal. In the process, I also calmly stood up for my right to be there to the person who very rudely cussed at me; all things I’d have avoided before.
In its rawness, this incident allowed me to more clearly see where I and others have not felt the right to exist and take up space. Even though I’ve made many strides in the past 4+ years, I’ve come to recognize that this may well be an ongoing healing theme for me throughout the remainder of my life; a theme that is overcome by degrees. Yet I fully intend to keep chiseling away at it by continuing to live more and more authentically, exposing myself especially where I feel vulnerable.
In a recent dream, Christ showed me where our cracks are actually our strengths. With this in mind, I end with the following prayer:
May we each see our imperfections in a new way, for in exposing our vulnerabilities, we each can benefit by reaching new levels of potential by living life more authentically, by connecting more deeply with others through our shared courage and through supporting each other in living our individual truths. In living through our truths, we set ourselves free.
Namaste
Coming Soon: Wabi-Sabi: Imperfect Perfection
Divinely designed exactly as we’re meant to be
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Yes! Now to live it, breathe it and remember it.
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A perpetual struggle, beginning with being present
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Yes, so true!
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Relate. I was not taught how to stand up for myself so I have made it my sole responsibility to teach myself. Confrontation is so not easy for me but I do force myself out of my comfortable zone to do it. I’ve also been given a TEST regarding flaws …. to either accept them or hide. I’ve opted not to hide and to show all the world to see I am not ashamed of how I look. I’ve had a heck of a time with allergies and I’ve reacted with red patches on my face, my eyes all puffed up and red, and my lips and face in general all swollen. As I figure out what I am reacting to, my face does begin to clear up. But! BIG Lesson here that even though this world is so focused on Youth, I am willing to go about looking less then perfect, something I really struggled with. Now I am who I am in this moment and I will not loose out all because of marks and inflammation on my face. Life is way too short and precious to do that!! Happy Monday! ☺️
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Amy, strong work to be you and stand up for you! The struggle to do so is real and it’s my belief that we each have this struggle. Yet we find judgement around each corner.
Thank you for being you and choosing to allow it to show.
Namaste ❤️🔆
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I think this is an issue so many struggle with. We cannot live ideals for they are counter to real life. I loved the W H Auden saying learn to love your crooked neighbour with your own crooked heart. Self acceptance becomes acceptance of others, even when they hurt us, learning to know why it hurts but not take it on too much.
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Yes, i agree!
I love the Auden quote. Thank you for sharing it and your experiences. ❤️
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