Overcoming Grief: Being Beside Oneself

This blog is peppered with various strategies for moving through emotional turmoil. Tonight, I experienced a new strategy that was more efficient than others I’ve used so far.

Wednesday’s are transition days for me, and they stand as a reminder of where my life is not how I had planned. Having the day off made today a less distracted and thus a more emotionally charged Wednesday than usual.

While sitting with my emotions, I used my usual alchemy techniques and while the edges were less sharp, the heaviness of grief still weighed on me. It was then that I felt myself “beside myself.” Then I began to assure my “beside self” that I had every right to feel every bit of what I was feeling; even down to my desires to smash things, which weren’t okay desires to follow through, yet I acknowledged they were okay to feel.

So now I sit, no longer needing to be beside myself, reintegrated, and more at peace with myself and this situation. Yes, there is still some work to do, yet it already feels that much better.

May we each find our inner path to peace, understanding that what we feel is what we feel and it’s really okay to feel; self-validation. Understanding that just because we feel it doesn’t mean we must live it. And that blocking our feelings prevents us from fully living.


2 thoughts on “Overcoming Grief: Being Beside Oneself

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  1. Ah, thank you for sharing this insight! I think this sort of (temporary) dissociation is indeed healthy — to step outside of one’s directly experienced self and become also an observer. Also, dissociating from the emotion — as in, not BEING it (I “am” angry, upset, depressed, etc.) but being a space/place where the emotion is happening for just a limited period of time, like a passing cloud. I’ve found it helpful, while in that observer state (and when I actually remember!), to consider whatever storm of emotion I’m experiencing with a sense of curiosity, almost child-like…. like, “Oh, look at THIS.. Hmm, isn’t that interesting?” Then it’s like a fascinating creature I’ve stumbled upon in the wild, which I can turn about in my hands, peering at from different angles, or give a silent nod of acknowledgment and let it be. In rare instances, the fear or despair I held around it turns to appreciation… I suppose easing into stillness allows things to soften and actually become more fluid. Cheers to you + your newfound path to peace! 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for this reply, Noelle! I appreciate your insights and, yes, I also find gratitude very helpful in the process.
      And yes, remembering to use the tools is more than half the battle!
      Have a great day!

      Liked by 1 person

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