He loves her

His smile warms her face,

She blushes in return,

Basking in the light of His glow.

~~

He brushes away the wispy hairs

From her face, tucks them behind her ears.

He strokes her smooth skin,

Blowing His heat onto her neck.

To all her hurt parts, 

He brings attention.

~~

She loves being loved by Him.

Learning to love the skin she is in.

Learning to be free from within.

Oh, look, another Great Blue Heron?!

~~
An ode to the sun and the wind, who both graced me with their presence this week as I took a topless Jeep road trip across state lines.

Most of the trip was breathtaking and a much needed reprieve from …most everything. 

Realizing during this trip how much I still worry about my persona and being accepted by others. And an unexpected Great Blue Heron sighting 20 miles from Raleigh…seems to be my “squirrel!” in this poem.

Much love to you on your journey! 

2016.04.19

Photo © Onion | Dreamstime.com


The effects of the Stars

Over the past few years, I have found that the stars & planets do predict, to some degree, different patterns in life. Often, the energy precedes the predictions for me, in that I’ll move through things a few days before the energy is said to peak.

 

Well, this past week has been an emotionally turbulent one for me with many swings in between. Now I see that the full moon Monday is in Virgo, my sun sign. While the sun is in Pisces, my moon sign. A complete reversal, explaining the topsy turvy…

Moon Energies
Full moons are a time of reflection; shining light on the shadows and things that need clearing; weeding.
New moons are time for planting and manifesting.

So now it all comes together more clearly, Pisces the watery emotional sign of the fish explains my emotional sensitivity and heavy clearing. Meanwhile the moon in Virgo is one of rationality, organizing and reflecting. No wonder I keep writing (not always posting) about death…I’m lovingly being forced to look at all of my shit.

Please see this blog for more information and helpful activities for balancing these opposing energies:
Full Moon in Virgo 22nd February – Michelle McClunan

I’ll humbly accept any prayers, love and positive energy in any form during this time of transition. And I’ll happily return the favor anytime you ask of it!

Namaste

__/|\__ Metta

2016.02.20

Image: Hubble EAS

 

Turbulence

The weather today is a reflection of how I feel.

Yesterday we awoke to a blanket of powdery snow with 32 deg temps.

Today, it is raining in sheets while a balmy 63 degrees; . 

The wind are highly variable with gusts up to 22 miles per hour. 

~~

The low ceiling is a patchwork quilt of grey, white and black.

My mood, usually sunny, cannot pierce it.

The buzzards, lovely creatures of purification, 

twirl, soaring in groups on the updrafts.

~~

I imagine myself flying with them,

so I can see from their view again.

However I feel like I’m falling for 

with each foot of altitude gained, 3 back down I fall.

~~

Feeling small and weak, 

the rushes of air go through me.

I bid the wind take my burdens,

I bid them all adieu on the updrafts.

~~

Perhaps I need to adjust my attitude,

having been berating myself,

so I am only destined for the fall.

Time to adjust the pedals, to straighten out.

~~

of course, I’m wearing black & white today!

my lunch break to be spent in a meeting,

with a VP. Something I found out about this morning.

Yep, gotta move those pedals, alter my throttle.

~~

2016.02.16

Namaste

__/|\__ Metta

a change in writing: Ode to the Fire Monkey

back in the autumn, my shifting was too out of focus.
i asked for an answer to change out of the chaos
of what felt like a SNAFU mess.
soon, my mornings started earlier.
a fire in my belly grew, releasing my need for so much sleep;
must be the fire monkey helped me take this leap.
sometimes i wonder, how long can this keep?

now my day start about 0400. what a change from just this fall.
it seems the clean, crispness of the day beckons me out of sleep
my mission: writing, scribing, bleeding words from my heart’s keep.
my Muse, loving yet demanding, fills my mind with His words to
pull me out of my sweet slumber; such is His seduction.
if i try to fall back into my dreams,
His words resound like thunder.
why do i even try? i then wonder.

no longer resisting (too much):
start the water for the coffee,
then light for Buddha
incense and candles,
preparing for the pre-writing meditation,
my salve, my potion, my kind of medication.
it prevents excessive motion of my mind to clear
the path so that i can easily write from my heart spaces.

today, there is a sharp pain in my left shoulder blade’s inside border.
a block in my heart energy, attention is in order.
water steaming, boiling, pour it in the press over the coffee grounds,
my mouth salivating, awaiting for the bliss.
while i check for any new notifications and messages.

push the plunger, pour the steamy, freshly pressed coffee
into my double-walled tall black coffee mug, it so reminds me of darth vader.
unsweetened vanilla almond milk is such a compliment, taking away a tad of the bitterness, but still best not to drink to the bottom;
or silty grounds i will find moving around
in my mouth, the opposite of sweet bliss.
now to close the lid and place it to the side.
it’s time for an etheric ride.

with seven rocks in my left hand,
listening to the beautiful music of the moola mantra*,
enchanted,
i begin the clearing of my chakras,
hearing the words of my Muse,
doing my best to not confuse
my need for meditation and
my need for remediation
in writing.

following my travels from earth, to water, to fire, to air, into the ethers x3,
i bring myself back to the balanced space of my heart.
now it’s time to sit down at the laptop and do my part.
where to begin? who is the writer tickledfancee or tiffanybeingfree?
which one most calls to me, beckoning me for my sweet attention.
sometimes there can be some apprehension.

my old alarm to let me know when to wake up, is now my
15-minute warning to wrap it the fuck up.

and oh, dear, it’s all very different when the children are here!
no sexshadows to play in today!

for this new way, this new way of being,
i give much gratitude to the fire monkey
His energy i must be breathing!

2016.02.08

Namaste.

__/|\__ Metta

*Moola Mantra is a Love Song to the Divine Force; paying homage to both the Divinie Feminine and Masculine it is a powerful way to induce the creative force.

Om
Sat Chit Ananda Parabrahma
Purushothama Paramatma
Sri Bhagavathi Sametha
Sri Bhagavathe Namaha

 

 

image: google

 

 

 

Riding the Waves Again: Re-Configuration

This is a follow up to the post it comes and goes in waves: the dis-integration

It feels like death, lying down energetically and physically when going through the pain that is dying while living. It is disintegration; breaking down to the smallest pieces, sometimes being cut by the shards of glass in falling down. The fire of the foundry melts us back into a liquid, the amorphous void. It is here that we get to choose our new configuration. Blowing through the glass blower’s tube, we breathe new life into ourselves. We fill the air with those things which we want to carry forward. This is the beauty of the destruction: the ultimate recreation. In His love for us, Lord Shiva destroys us so that we can recreate ourselves again, again and again. The true death is stagnation.

The more fully that we allow the disintegration, the more energy we receive to rebuild again. It is a death and it does feel that way: it is the death of what is no longer serving us. There is a grieving. When we block this process, we get stuck in suffering.

Once out of the void, we can begin to see more clearly.

Anatomy of my Fall

He and I have a connection. He can feel my energy, even across the water. That is a huge turn on for me, having dated so many men who were so … unaware. One day he suddenly popped into my mind, I saw him standing on deck sending me a message. When I later looked, he had indeed written.

He could sense my boundaries without me needing to say a word. “Your body likes to be touched.” Like is an understatement, but the sentiment was there. “I can hear what your body wants.” Few men that I’ve been with could, or if they could, just didn’t listen.

Passion, Connection, Intimacy: Check! No commitment: Fuck!

For me, the reality of my weekend lover is that as much passion, connection and intimacy that we share, there is no commitment. When he was open to commitment in August, I was not. At the time I did not feel he could “see” me, in reality, I could not see myself. I did not feel that he was concerned about my sexual needs, but I was blocked to my own desires and felt much shame regarding my body. Additionally, I mistook his domination for aggression. It scared me, having only been comfortable when I was in complete control at that point in my life.

Now that I’m open to commitment, he simply cannot. With the threat of being laid off, as well as the extra hours he works to keep his job and make up for the loss of warm bodies, he is working an ungodly amount. His time and energy are being consumed: working 7 days/week, 12 hour days, he has a son, is taking college classes oh and he is a marathon runner. So I believe him when he is tired and I can read between the lines, he literally does not have time for me. This is not the kick in the crotch that it sounds it could be. 

Submission: Surprise Attack

There was also a lot of spontaneity in our meeting, in that I did not know I was going to see him until an hour before I crossed his threshold. As such, my defenses were down; the element of surprise. Even being almost professional in past sexual FWB type relationships, I unknowingly set myself up for the fall.

In being able to understand submission, I failed to see and to understand the level of intimacy manifested in submitting to a lover. Allowing him to dominate me, exposing my vulnerability and heightening the intimacy was an instant recipe for a deeper connection with him; I didn’t expect it. Now I see and so apparently.

String of Unavailable Men

He lives 33 miles away and that is a barrier where I live because he is on a “different island” as it were. A solid forty-minute drive in no traffic can be 3 hours or more with traffic due to the limited paths between. And while I believe “love knows no distance,” there are limits to his time. Selfish of me to ask for anything of him at this time. He is using his vital energy to survive, not thrive. I send him Metta daily, hoping he may find peace and balance before he collapses.

So he is physically and energetically unavailable. Add him to the list of men who have been the same, or emotionally or spiritually unavailable. As I am a magnet for what I am internally, I must ask myself where am I unavailable? Another post for another day.

Re-configuration

So, today as a Phoenix, I rise up again. “Finding myself magnetically.” Turning my “mistakes into gold.” I see where, once again, I was willing to overextend myself and stretch my own resources to connect. He is a beautiful man with a beautiful spirit who is an amazing lover. Yet, we would rarely be able to walk side-by-side, even when he works more reasonably. So here I sit, re-configured at a different level of understanding and completeness. Back in the sweet bliss I exist.

If you enjoy movies about man’s search for meaning, man-vs-himself genre, then I strongly suggest the movie “Into the Wild,” the soundtrack from which this song is part.

 

Namaste

__/|\__ Metta

The Heart: To Love is to Breathe

When in the energy of love we feel light; we fly. We soar. Breathing can be effortless and pure. When the primal life force energy of Kundalini Shakti rises into the heart, it does so on wings of love. To afford our ascension into higher levels of consciousness, we need to open our hearts more and more fully into love. To love is to breathe. To breathe is to live.

Physically the heart pumps oxygen carrying blood to our tissues by balancing the pumping between lower to upper chambers. Similarly, the energetic element of the heart is air. Blood, love and air are required for life. Without blood, air, or love we die.

While our bodies may survive without love, on the inside we die; we fail to thrive. A living death. While we may not require the love of a lover to thrive, we must at least have love for ourselves.

Physically and energetically the heart is a vessel. When in balance, the heart carries the energy of love through feelings. Just as the heart pumps blood in and out of its chambers at an average resting rate of about 80 times per minute, we are not meant to hold onto our feelings. What we hold onto blocks us from love. This can be a great challenge to feel without holding on, or perhaps worse: blocking ourselves from feeling our feelings we block ourselves from love. 

What we choose to feel, we heal! “Feeling it” heals it by activating the heart. The language of the heart is feeling. When we block our feelings we block our healing.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
― Rumi

To open the vessel of our hearts to more love, it must be light as a feather; unburdened by shame, guilt, anger, sadness, etc. Through Alchemy, Meditation and Gratitude we can release our burdens.

In Ancient Egypt, Ma’at, the goddess of truth and justice, weighed the hearts of the dead against a solitary feather on the balance scales. Those whose hearts were light as a feather were granted access into the Kingdom of Osiris. Those who “failed” were immediately slain. Once again we see the association of the heart and love with air, flight/soaring (with the feather) and balance. Birds are often seen as messengers of love.

Anahata is the Sanskrit word that represents the heart chakra. It means unstruck, unbeaten, unhurt.

  • “I am that I am” – acceptance, compassion, love.
  • Emerald green 12-petaled Lotus flower
  • The central Merkab* demonstrates balance of the male and female energies and all four elements:
    • the divine feminine – downward facing triangle or chalice of Earth and water; the void
    • the divine masculine – upward facing triangle of fire and air, ascending to the Heavens
  • Sound is “Vong”

*The Merkab represents the vehicle for our Ascension. When we are balanced in our hearts and in the energy of love, we can fly on the wings of love into higher levels of consciousness.

anahata_large

When the heart is balanced, we breathe in love, we breathe in life. This supports us in the use of our voices (throat chakra), in our ability to speak and sing our truths. In so doing, we extend our love outwards to others. We can see the opposition of love is the use of our voices to harm or hurt others and ourselves.

When we are in our power at the level of the Solar Plexus, the fire of our passions rise up into the heart in the Ascension towards Heaven. When out of balance in our power, the fires do not produce enough heat to push the air of love upwards. Keeping us stuck, what misery.

So by breathing, by moving, and keeping the energy of our hearts and love flowing we can be balanced in our lives. This balance offers us the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven. By learning to release our burdens, we open the vessels of our hearts more fully, we gift ourselves flight.

The frequency of the energy of the heart is 528 Hz. Listening to music recorded at this frequency can help to open the heart more fully. YouTube has a vast collection.

HeartMath Institute has found that the heart has neural connections similar to the brain, allowing us to “think” separately from our hearts. They call this the heart-brain. There are more communication pathways moving upwards from the heart to the brain, than there are pathways moving downwards from the brain to the heart! Who is in charge?

Our hearts’ electromagnetic field is 60 times larger than the brain and this energy can be transferred from heart-to-heart.**

**From “The Energetic Heart is Unfolding

The Heart

This is the first in a series about the 7 major Chakras found in the body. Each area carries a different focus and being able to open more fully into each areas energy allows us to ascend into higher levels of consciousness.

Metta __/|\__

Featured Image from Google.

Heart Chakra graphic courtesy of Will at www.tfunkgear.com He does fantastic work, please check him out!

Funeral Pyre

Tonight I’m building a funeral pyre.
Tonight I am taking out the shell
of a person who once lived here.
Her time has long gone,
Her needs have expired.
Now it’s time to build a fire.

Her final release to the
Heavens will light
the land this night.

The sparks will shoot high
Into the night sky.
The heat & smoke escaping,
Carrying to the Gods above
Her pieces; once broken.

Leaving behind the ashes to
Reunite with the earth
From whence they came.
Tomorrow, reborn
Sweet balance,
restored again.

1.28.2016

Image: Google

I’m doing my best to keep to 2 posts/day. Maybe it will be 2 long or 3 short at most…I have a serious backlog of work to publish. While I’ve turned down the fire, it still burns brightly and intently.