Category: balance

Ease & Flow: The Law of Attraction

There are words that support us and other words which do not. Many of us have marinated for years in negativity that we have learned from others, and that we have carried forward. The good news? We can change this if we wish!

To break free from the habit of negativity, it is imperative that we both recognize the habit and then put something new in its place. In hearing about a game* that Esther Hicks (Law of Attraction author and speaker) often plays, I sat down and typed out as many uplifting words as I could think then plugged them into the WordArt.com program to generate the featured image.

What uplifting words come to mind for you? Are there word pairs that seem to fit well and that resonate strongly for you? If so, repeat them, especially when feeling triggered. Become your own cheerleader; we each deserve to be our very own best friends. 

Namaste

*In the game, Hicks brings to mind a word that begins with each letter of the alphabet. She finds that this game brings her into a state of peace and greater alignment with The Divine, a place she calls The Vortex. If you are interested in learning more, you can easily find audio tracks on YouTube. She has also co-authored several books with her husband, Jerry.

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Allowing the Breakdown: A Sign of a New Beginning

Just as old buildings must be razed before new ones can be built, old plans and ways of living must be broken down so that we can begin anew. This process can feel like death and in a way it very much is: it is the death of the old ways of living. As such, it can be, and often is, somewhat painful and scary. This process is prolonged or intensified when we grasp and attempt to hold onto things that no longer serve us; and prevents us from realizing and living something even better and greater. 

If we instead recognize the painful feelings as a sign of the dawn breaking through the darkness, we empower ourselves to face the loss while focusing on the breakthrough that follows the breakdown. 

“When one door closes another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”
~Alexander Graham Bell

Destruction and creation are two sides of the same coin. The death of what no longer serves us becomes the fodder for our new way of living. Just as the fallen trees become nourishment to support the growth of the new forest. To live is to grow and expand, just as to die is to stagnate. As such, when we focus so strongly on what has been “lost” we fail to see what is being born. For those who have eyes to see, allow them to see: there is something on the horizon that is far better awaiting you, awaiting me. 

May we each find a greater sense of peace, understanding and allowing during the breakdown, knowing it is heralding and supporting the breakthrough.

Namaste

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Race for Peace

Have you ever found yourself rushing to get to your peaceful place? Maybe driving faster or rushing to get out of the office to go home so you can relax? Or do you find yourself thinking things such as, “if only this were not here, I would be okay”? I only ask these questions because I must confess that I have lived them each this week.

Just the other day, I was upset about being late because it cut down on my “relaxation” time before work. It meant less time walking with my bare feet in the sand. It meant less “me time” before show time at work.

Then I looked further back and saw how, at times, I’ve been more easily agitated after a good relaxing meditation?! Because I was not at peace with the “chaos” of that moment. It’s easy to be relaxed when we’re in our happy places, not so much so in the day-to-day.

How can we carry the peace from our yoga mats, from our meditations into our daily lives? Daily life is a practice. In giving ourselves the loving grace both in and outside of our happy places, we begin to see that we are being and doing the best that we can be and do in that moment.

Racing after peace means we are never peaceful. (Much like the pursuit of happiness.) Peace is a state of being. At any given moment we have the choice to be at peace or at war with the present moment. And what we resist, persists. We carry it forward with us into the next moment, days, years, decades, etc. Best to practice being at peace with the present. How can we be at peace when we are at war with the present, with who we are or where we are?

May we each rediscover the peace within that is waiting to be seen, releasing the need to fight against ourselves or to use our stories to keep us embattled. 

Namaste

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It’s Okay to be Okay

This lesson may be just as, if not more, difficult to understand than “being okay with not being okay.” When things are going well for me, I find that I look for the “bad things” on the horizon. Why can I not be okay with what’s happening?

When life is going well, it’s as if I’m constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I find that my eyes are on the horizon, searching for any potential storms, pirates, tsunamis or other “dangers” that could threaten my happiness. What?! How does this even make sense? Instead of being grateful for where I am and enjoying what I do have, my eyes focus on the potential negatives.

We get what we look for. I’m searching for issues so guess what? Then I’m going to get more issues. Those potential issues then become my focus instead of enjoying the calm waters and sunny skies that surround me now.

So here today, I choose to redirect the focus to where I am now, and away from seeking threats that are outside of my safe harbor; that are also outside of my control. Putting down the binoculars, I can now focus on the present. Even if the present is impermanent.

I extend this wish out to each of you: May we each find the peace and comfort in where we are, even if it’s rough sometimes, even when it’s easy sometimes. Knowing that it is all transient: it will change, so let’s be okay with where we are today.

Note: This is different from complacency, this is about acceptance of what is. Only then can we choose to change course. ❤️

Namaste

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Being Okay With Not Being Okay

I asked God what it was that I was missing as I was “doing the work” and yet felt so unhappy. My message was “to be okay with not being okay.” I needed to accept that sometimes it really is OKAY to not be okay. This year has had more than its share of heartbreaks, heartaches and tragedy: things I also see as growth – and yet with growth there is also loss for which I had not allowed myself to fully grieve.

Wow! This was a real eye-opener for me. While I could see my desired goal of where I wanted to be “in joy,” it was completely blocked because I was refusing to allow myself to be okay with where I was: NOT okay.

Recovery is about surrendering into the NOW, even if where we are right now feels like a cesspool. We worry that if we allow ourselves to be okay with our misery, that we will stay there – WHAT?! Say that again! If we are okay with our misery, we fear that we will stay there. This fear actually keeps us stuck!

It is in allowing ourselves our misery, our mourning, our grief, our anger, our fears and our sadness that helps us to rise out of the muck! The release is almost instantaneous and is proportional to the amount of freedom we allow ourselves in our wallowing. Acceptance leads to freedom.

It is in denying ourselves our true emotions that we are blocked. Trying to be rosy and cute when we feel blue and ugly serves NO ONE.

Allowing the storm requires support in some form. Trusted friends & family, a good counselor, radical self-care and self-compassion help us to get through these tough spots. We are NOT alone, even when at the lowest points it can feel that way.

May you find peace today in the places where you do not feel okay. May we accept where we are so we can let go and embrace the bliss that is awaiting us when we allow the mess.

Namaste

#NoMudNoLotus

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Facing Fears While Having Fun

Last summer, I faced my fear of heights by doing a high ropes course. This past weekend I faced my fears of deep water by taking surf lessons. Both experiences were life-changing for me. Instead of being limited by my fears, I became invigorated and more free by facing them, head on. I also had fun while doing it!

There was some prep work for me. Last year I used visualizations a lot in the week before climbing to “see” myself successfully stepping and zipping. The experience was exhilarating and my most feared part, the zips, were also the most fun! My hunger and need for a meal was what lead me to leave…something I hadn’t prepared for!

With the deep water fear, I used EFT tapping more than the visualizations, at least at first. Once I tapped away the bulk of the fear, I was able to use the visualization strategies.

Surfing was also more fun than scary for me. In fact, I’m going back for round 2 in a few weeks when my schedule frees up. A friend even wants to go, as she’s been inspired by my tackling my fear of deep water. Hoping she’s receptive to trying the tapping.

In both instances I was in a somewhat controlled environment. A surf board is a flotation device and there was an instructor there to guide and help me if I had run into trouble. The high ropes course had harnesses and safety features, also with help if I needed it. So while I was facing my fears, I was doing so in a way that helped me to feel somewhat safe.

What are some fears that you have?

What are some fun ways you can face them and free yourself from their grip and enjoy new experiences?

Your confidence and self-respect will thank you!

Namaste

PS It might be helpful to come up with a reasonable goal for yourself. For instance, my main goal with the surfing was to get over my fear of deep water. If I rode in on a wave or two, that was icing on the cake. So let’s just say my next surfing lessons will have a higher bar! 😉

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Harnessing Our Anger

Anger is an emotion. Emotions are energy designed to move us, to help us to move forward or to teach us something.

Many of us were taught or learned that anger is dangerous, scary and should be avoided at all costs. Anger is like fire… and yes, we do want to avoid being burned, yet think about what would happen if all fire ceased to exist: how would we warm our homes, cook our food or drive our cars? My point here is that not all fire is bad and the same goes for anger.

Anger feels like fire, and it is part of the matrix of passion. Just as fire burns and transforms fuel into movement, we can use our anger as an internal fire to propel us forward; to change.

When we suppress our anger, our internal fire, we suppress our passion. We prevent ourselves from changing, and we stagnate or stay stuck.

Tapping Out on Emotional Overload offers a helpful strategy to help manage anger, or other emotions, that feel excessive or unhelpful.

Again, not all anger is bad. It is our judgment about the feeling and suppressing it or not channeling it into something creative that can be the danger. What we do with our passion, with our anger, and this with our energy is up to us. We can use it, just like fire, to cook food or to burn things down.

For reflection:

  • What are you using your passion for today? Or are you keeping it locked up?!
  • Or just allowing it to unleash without any creative direction?
  • How can you see your emotions differently, allowing them to lead you to your greatness?

Namaste

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Anger’s Lessons

The shifts from this week have lead to me to the awareness of a significant amount of suppressed anger and sadness. While the events that lead to this awareness were seemingly innocuous, they did their job in uncovering the hidden well of emotions. It was in giving myself permission to feel my emotions that the well was tapped.

Sorting through the initial upwelling, I saw patterns emerge. Boundary violations, perceived indiscretions and abandonment were common threads. Digging deeper I found that the Golden thread in each of these scenarios was myself. As I felt this, I literally hit my bed. I gave myself permission to have a good ol’ fashioned temper tantrum.

In round two of my delving, I found that pure emotion rose up. There were not as many memories or images or impressions to go along with the anger, sadness and grief that I felt. It was just plain raw, yet needed to be allowed and felt.

Walking through as much as I could, I was breathing easier once again. And after releasing the feelings to my Higher Power, I slept somewhat restlessly.

The next morning I felt off center and while the horizons within were expanded, the edges still felt serrated. Sitting in meditation helped, where I also prayed and turned things over again. EFT was a tremendous blessing. If you struggle with difficult emotions or health issues I highly recommend learning about tapping!

Lessons learned about anger:

  • My anger is my responsibility. The stories I tell myself about why I’m angry only keep me stuck in it.
  • Judgment about anger can be more damaging than the emotion itself. By judging we often try to suppress what we’re feeling.
  • Suppressing anger is like compressing a spring. It may make the anger seem smaller, and this is only temporary. Eventually it’s going to spring back up.
  • Foods I like to eat when I’m angry are chewy or gummy, like gum or gummy bears. When I’m frustrated I like crunchy, like chips. These are warning signs that I’m suppressing, as is forceful sighing. Oh, and impatience at the littlest things…
  • Anger is the fuel for change. It can transform us into vehicles for positive changes as anger is part of the spark behind our passions. If we were happy about everything we wouldn’t want to change it nor would we be motivated to do so.
  • Anger can show us where a boundary has been violated.
  • The one person for whom I hold the most anger and unforgiveness is myself.
  • Giving ourselves permission to feel angry and being willing to forgive ourselves and any other trespassers will help get us unstuck.
  • Being angry and acting on that anger are two separate things, if we allow it to be.
  • Letting go and letting our Higher Power step in can be a tremendous relief. Asking for the situation or our perspective to change gives our Higher Power permission to act.
  • Holding onto anger only truly hurts the one holding it (meaning it only hurts me when I am holding onto or suppressing it).
  • Suppressed anger can separate and prevent feeling love or compassion for oneself or even another; this keeps us further separated.
  • Forgiveness and gratitude also help to unlock the gripping effects of suppressed anger. They open our hearts and shine light on the situation.

For me, anger was something I saw as scary, overwhelming and dangerous growing up. It was easier to suppress it than to feel or show it. I also believe that I was socialized to believe that anger wasn’t an acceptable emotion. Now I see how much it hurts me to hold it in, and how it keeps me stuck.

By allowing my anger, without judging or suppressing it, I give myself permission to change my perspectives, my life circumstances and to follow the path of my life purpose; my passion.

A good friend shared a fantastic paradigm shift with me today. To see myself as a superhuman who is able to act (and feel) in no set particular way. It’s okay to make mistakes! That’s how we learn…and teach.

May you begin to find some peace today in allowing your anger. Emotions are energy, they are here to help us to move and be moved. When we judge and suppress them, we set ourselves up for dis-ease. Let’s change that, shall we?!

Namaste

Please seek professional help if your inclination is to harm yourself or others.

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Are We There Yet?! Hiking at Half-Pace

To force the flower to blossom is to destroy its petals.

IMG_2275.jpgThis is my favorite time of year to hike. I love the lushness and fresh green of everything during spring. It gives me new hope of the things to come. Yet, on this day I noticed something different: the intent of my hike was to de-stress and I was rushing!

It was as if I were on a mission or death march. It was as if my internal cruise control had gotten stuck at 90 mph. The life events of April 2018 were in my rear view and yet they were still driving me, pushing me to keep moving. Don’t stop. Rush. March. Plod forward. Go. Now. 

I had begun to question my need to rush through the hike when I saw two snails on a tree. It was as if they were telling me I was needing to follow their lead…so it was then that I slowed down my pace. I imagined I moved with the grace of nature’s pace.

 

IMG_2279.jpgSoon after, I also chose to be as present as I could, to more fully receive each stimulus of my senses: to drink in with my eyes the beauty of the forest, even of the needle and leaf liter, with my feet to feel the sponginess and give of the ground, and with my ears to hear the song birds belting out tunes. Now as I type, I can remember and feel more than I would have, had I kept up with the death march.

 

 

As I look back, I see where I haven’t wanted to accept my life as it has been. Rushing wasn’t about the hike, it has been about where I am in life. I see where I have been rushing to get to the next level, and in doing so, I’ve been wasting energy on things that cannot be affected nor rushed, much like the blossoming of a flower. Today, I recognize that right now, this is where I am; like it or not. So what is the point of all of this struggle?

IMG_2292.jpg

These are lessons I’ve learned previously and much like the decaying tree, it’s all the same material – just now viewed at a new depth.

 

Namaste’

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