The Epiphany of Allowing

 

It is on this day that I met the elegant, beautiful and delicately strong lotus flower named Epiphany. She was captivating to watch as she morphed into different shapes and colors as her awareness of herself grew. She was open, she was vulnerable and she knew who she was. She could be anything that she wanted; by allowing it to be. In her presence, I felt light and airy, even as I sat upon a large, solid rock. 

We each have a calling within our hearts, our DNA. Yet we allow the external circumstances of our lives to dictate which path we will take. This is not love, this is fear. Because I fear being seen as crazy, I have continually hidden behind my fears. At times, when the words of my heart want to burst forth I hold them back constricting the neck muscles around my throat; choking out my own words. This hurts me and, worse, it serves no one.

The path away from fear and towards love is found in giving ourselves permission to be our true selves. It does not require me to change you, nor for me to require change within myself. By forcing or resisting changes we are not in a state of allowing.  

The most important lesson is having faith in the unseen. Seeds sprout out of sight. Just as the farmer plants the seed in the soil, he does not later pull up the soil to see what is happening. Instead, he waters and he trusts the seed to do its job. Allowing is having faith in the unknown and not deserting a vision just because it has “taken too long” to bear fruit.

Allowing begins on the inside and is developed through our inner feminine and masculine. This strength is symbolized by the lotus and the rock. The lotus does not ask permission to be beautiful, she just is. Out of the muck she rises and reaches for the sun. Once in the sun, she blooms and opens her petals, revealing herself openly; transparently. She represents feminine strength. The rock also serves its duty by being who he is, being present, solid and still. He represents masculine strength. We need both types of strength to make our way to the pinnacle of our own life’s purpose.

It is within our heart spaces that we strengthen our intuition, which is a combination of trusting and listening. The time has come for us to trust ourselves and to truly listen to what is being said; to see the truth beyond the physical by looking and living from within. It is here that we experience our truth more fully. It is here that we no longer feel burdened by fears.

All that we need to accomplish our missions can be found within. Through stillness, meditation, faith and visualization, we can access everything we need through allowing instead of resisting or forcing. It is by allowing and going within that we have the strongest connection with The Creator and we can complete our missions. Now just to give ourselves that permission.

Namaste

Images: Google & Calm

 

 

The Holy Grail Hidden Within Duality

 

The Vesica Pisces is a common visual presence across many world religions. In Italian it is called a mandalora (almond), similar to the Indian Mandala. Within the center of each of these religious symbols balance is achieved. Most importantly, one reaches this center through the synthesis of the two edges of Duality. It is in this space that a new consciousness is born. 


This concept is so simple that it may just be unbelievable and thus easily dismissed. At the same time, the work required is not always so easy as it may initially sound. For how does one merge two opposites? 


Yet the key to our release from suffering is found by allowing without judgment the simultaneous existence of two opposites. It is in the center of these two overlapping circles that we can transcend Duality. This is not a compromise. Instead it is a synthesis and if permitted to fully unfold, it is transcendent.  I call this moment of synthesis The God Moment.

The journey to the God moment can be a most painful process when we walk through the valleys of the shadows of death. Yet at other times such as during sex, the joining of two opposites can be incredibly erotic…and hopefully pleasurable. 


It now makes so much sense as to why many of us seek these edges. In seeking the highs, and often unintentially the lows, we are seeking something greater than ourselves. Yet it is often during these times that we turn to distractions and addictions that prevent us from fully experiencing and marrying the edges of Duality. Thus we miss the God moment and we miss the opportunity to become transcendent.

Allowing the dual existence of two opposites is the key to our release from our suffering, yet this surrender can seem to tear us apart and is why so many of us stop the process just prior to its full fruition. It is our faith and our ability to breathe through the process that allows us to pass through the valley – and transcend it. We must believe that our thoughts, beliefs and emotions cannot kill us. Yet we have been taught to fear our shadow and the baggage that it brings, so it can be challenging to walk with these aspects and this prevents us from being able to transcend them. Walking with our shadows means we must acknowledge them; things we were taught to avoid at all costs.

On a very basic level, transcendence is sexual. The merging of two opposite energies is how new life can be created. For with each aspect of Duality that we transcend, we are born again and see life in a new way. Are you excited yet?!  

Furthermore it is in these moments of synthesis that we touch and are touched by something greater than ourselves: God. The more we can merge these edges, the more we merge heaven and earth. 

Sadly, just as with sex, eventually we also return to our experience of Duality. With each action of life we produce both light and shadow. Thus the shadow emerges to give us repeated opportunities to heal and transcend through another synthesis and another rebirth. No wonder the Vesica Pisces has such a vulvar look to it, or maybe it’s just me? 

An intentionally repeated image. The other images I’d like to have used here would be considered pornographic…sadly


Now I plan to investigate the use of Sex as a means of transcendence. I have a strong sense that this use of sexual energies requires foundational work that goes beyond casual sex. I’ve read some about tantra and have a feeling I’ll find more answers there…if you’ve read anything along these lines, feel free to share sources in the comments section or gmail me at tiffanybeingfree. In the meantime, I’ll leave you with various images of the Vesica Pisces or mandalora. 

Mother Mary depicted within the Mandalora, the space between Duality.

The fish symbol of Christianity is a variation of the Vesica Pisces.

The Vesica Pisces is also the basic pattern for the seed -, tree – and flower of life. 

The flower of life

While I’ve written about this synthesis of duality within the Owning Your Own Shadow series, based on readings from the book by Robert A. Johnson, today brings an entirely new level of understanding. Healing is about sex: the merging of two opposites.  

More on Sacred Geometry 

A mandala my children recently helped me to color.


Namaste 

Balancing the Edges: Creation & Destruction

All systems seek balance including our inner and outer selves. We often become unbalanced when we suppress the expression of our hidden, or shadow, aspects. This suppression is learned during the process of being raised, as we are taught to deny parts of ourselves to fit into society. We cut ourselves off from our truest expression of self as a sacrifice for the safety of others (imagine society if everyone acted on every urge felt). However, the complete suppression of our shadows creates an imbalance in our lives until we choose to look within and honor these hidden aspects; even if only symbolically. This is the first in a series about returning to a place of balance within by uncovering our hidden and at times golden facets.

Once the match is struck, it creates a flame which results in its own destruction. To create is to destroy. While I have posted about this topic repeatedly, even this week with the Necessity of a Broken Heart, today I have a new perspective to share.

For a new wave to be formed, the old one must crash. To build a new house or road, the land must first be cleared. To create a new thought, we must destroy the old beliefs. To create a new life, we must allow the old life to die. The maiden must die before she becomes a wife. I could list different things all day that follow this cycle and the possibilities are endless, yet to create such a list would destroy the point of this post. (smiling).

We can see these examples of creation coupled with destruction in the external world when we allow ourselves the sight to do so. For instance, when we watch the news we see where the world seems to be caving in on itself. Yet, so few of us see within ourselves how this is merely a reflection of our own inner desires for destruction. When we can allow our inner world to balance these two halves – without shame or judgement – then we can begin to be whole and complete – finding the keys to our true inner peace.

A beautiful wave crests just prior to its destruction, yet the water flows back to the ocean to create a new wave. In the process of creating new shoreline, something else must be destroyed.

When we fight our dark urges we give them more strength to control us. However, when we allow ourselves without judgement to have dark and “negative” or culturally unacceptable feelings – instead of blocking them or acting them out – then we can free ourselves from this burden of right or wrong. Accepting that the path of creativity also means that we destroy something, even if only in our minds, or even if only symbolically, then we can free the edges of our psyche to co-exist and we can move beyond duality. Balance is then restored and we come to a place of peace, even if it is briefly held as if “on the head of a pin.”
Some creative ways that we can get our destructive fixes: meditate and walk through our “dark sides,” write a story where everyone dies, paint (destroy the canvas with acrylics), sculpt, Dream and even daydream. These activities diffuse the ticking time-bomb within: when we allow them to be as they are – keys of free expression of our dark sides – we free ourselves and become the whole we are meant to be.

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Superheroes Needs Super Villains. The Movie ‘Unbreakable’ is a beautiful explanation of this need for balance.


When we block the destructive side of ourselves it just wells up within. Then we take it out on others through road rage, passive-aggressive behaviors, or maybe even directly abusing others. So much of the world makes sense now from this perspective. Look at all of the examples of “great real life heroes” who commit acts of atrocity.

From this vantage point, we can now see how great societies fell: when their destructive mechanisms outgrew their creative ones. I can now see how many serial killers were also sometimes model citizens. Ted Bundy, for instance, volunteered at a suicide hotline and talked people out of killing themselves. Yet had no problem brutally raping and murdering brunette college-aged women. Now I can understand my own fascination with war, war machines, and serial killers, of all things… This may be scratching the surface of BDSM as well.

This new awareness has shed so much light for me. I now see why I can be so patient and calm with clients and then short-tempered later. If someone cuts me off in traffic I thoroughly enjoy cussing like a sailor as it helps me to release that darker side of me. I have also seen how health care workers and other service providers have the darkest senses of humor. Yes, that absolutely includes me!

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So often the greatest artists destroy themselves with their nihilism. To create so beautifully, there is a requisite balance of destruction that must occur. Not understanding this, many artists destroy themselves. Perhaps as more artists embrace their darkness, fewer will die from their self-destructive behaviors. Special thoughts to: Jim Morrison, Heath Ledger, River Phoenix, Jimi Hendrix, Janice Joplin, Van Gogh, Whitney Houston, Kurt Cobain. 

It is now my belief that mystery schools and societies understand this need for destruction. Many believe Masons are devil worshipers. I never understood this, especially since my grandfather was one. He was one of the kindest & most gregarious men in my life. Perhaps this is why there is so much secrecy about what Masons do: men acting out their need to destroy can be highly misconstrued by the passer-by.

Each of these examples is seeking balance. By telling off-color jokes, cussing at other drivers and, at least mentally, indulging in dark sexual fantasies, I am finding balance in my own ways. This also explains phenomena such as “preacher’s kids.” Now I can even understand why for the past two weeks my children have been acting out so much at school. I had been blocking many of my darker thoughts lately. Now to dive in and free my children from finding the balance I was unwilling to find within.

So please, allow your darkness to express itself within you or at least in ways that allow you to release without harming yourself or others. Finding creative ways to express the need to destroy is a way of creating a controlled burn instead of having wild fires sweep through your  life. As I continue to understand this concept better, I will write more. 

The light & darkness within me honor the light & darkness within you.


The Lady of the Water

Images: google

Being the Divinity

One with The Infinite

fingers laced in hair

softly pulling, at first

forming a fist, taken to the edge

softening into velvety folds

heat like lava holds

eminating from the source

connecting me to you

meridian lines pull from all sides

slipping further within

inhibitions lost

pulling you into me

once again feeling

The Divine within

Agostina

so pleased to meet you here

One with the Infinite

Image: google

One — A Duet

There were several posts I had considered for today, until i read this duet. It beautifully and poetically illustrates the interactions between The Divine Masculine & Divine Feminine that I had tried to explain here.

Please share feedback with the writers at their respective blogs and prepare yourself to be spellbound!

Many thanks to JW at JW’s Creative World for collaborating with me on “One”. Together, we are better. He is the Yang; masculine and positive, the light to guide her way when her past or present threatens or hinders her… or their future together. She is the Yin; feminine and negative, the dark that creates […]

via One — Southern Highways and Byways

Dominance is not an Archetype

One of the reasons that I blog is to expand my view of the universe. Both by delving further inwardly as well as from gaining new perspectives from other bloggers. As such, I greatly appreciate hearing your perspectives even if they differ from my own. This for me is part of the process. So I encourage you to comment at will on this and other posts when you feel compelled. It helps us all to learn and grow.

While I had not planned to post again this week, I saw the post from Mr M below and juices started to flow. It is a thought provoking post that is a follow-up to Submission is not an Archetype. Whether you are part of the D/s lifestyle or not, I feel these are great posts to read as both of them help to dispel some of the common misconceptions about Doms and subs.

What I would personally add to the Dominance post is that I find (in my experience) that Doms are often intuitive and observant. Those who play Doms, based on superficial explorations of this lifestyle, seek to use and possibly even harm the partner without caring about the partner’s experience.

From my perspective, as a burgeoning submissive, submission is a gift. It is something that is gifted to the Dom as a symbol of trust and respect. Submission is not to be coerced or taken, the subject is not to be used, instead honored.

In my opinion, the D/s dynamic is to deepen the intimacy and connection between the partners to help bring about greater sexual and spiritual experiences through being present, being open, being honest while maintaining mutual respect for the other partner’s boundaries and place within the dynamic.

In my limited experience with submission, I have reached higher states of bliss and consciousness. Sexual pleasure as a submissive is more intense than I have experienced in “vanilla” partnerships. What was more interesting for me to discover is that I have also experienced greater states of spiritual bliss and calmness in subspace than I can usually achieve in meditation following years of practice.

At this point, I’m not sure if I can go back. Instead, I’m learning to discern those who are playing the role and those who are actually Dominant males. For instance my new red flag with a hard stop is now: “I’ll use you however I want.” Nope, Bro, it’s time for me to go. 

While I understand D/s is not for everyone, I feel that there is far more to it than is understood or recognized in the general population. It is my hope that more people can begin to pull off their blinders and gain a new perspective on something that so many shun and thus refuse to learn more about. So without further Adieu, here is the post by Mr. M:

About a year ago, I wrote a small piece entitled “Submission is Not an Archetype“. It was quite popular for a while and generated a lot of healthy discussion. If you have not read it, I encourage you to do so. At the time, my observation was that there were too many women who felt they […]

via Dominance is Not an Archetype — Mr. Modigliani’s Private Studio

The Path: Submitting to Femininity Part III

Warning: The video is NSFW.

This is part three of Submitting to Femininity Series. This post focuses on the path and tools and applies to women as much as it does to men. We all hold within the energy of The Divine Feminine.
Part I: Into the Pink, Part II: Being.

The Path to Submission

15 years ago several women I was working with were talking about submitting to their husbands. I thought they were crazy and I was unable to hear their words. There was no way I was going to submit to any man, I thought to myself. Ironic to find myself now writing about this very thing. Their submission was based on their Jewish religious teachings. For me, submission is a personal choice that cannot be dictated, directed nor coerced by anyone. To submit under duress is surrender.
Now I find myself submitting to the feminine qualities that I have fought hard against for most of my life. I am finding power in submission, power in wearing pink and power in being uniquely feminine. I realize now that by living through the power of my Animus for so long, I was exhausting myself and not being true to my own power. I now see my role as a woman very differently.

 

The Masculine Path for Modern Women

It is the man’s masculine journey to prove his worth, his value, his skills, his knowledge, and his abilities often separately from others. Modern Women often feel that we must prove ourselves, as well. So often as a new mother, I fought against receiving help from others. It made me feel weak. I needed to prove, “I’ve got this! [fuck you].”
Fighting fire with fire to “make it” in a masculine world, women often put on Animus masks to move upwards in work and academic environments. This is where we adopt the Animus in our feeling of lack of power in a society that disqualifies feminine strength.
As women, we exhaust ourselves when we continually live in this way. We are using our tools, our energy, in a way in which they were not made to serve us. While we can use our high heeled shoes to drive a nail into a wall, a hammer is a much more effective tool to use. To repeatedly use our shoe, we have the potential to ruin it as well as to exhaust ourselves in the process.
Letting go of the need to prove ourselves is part of this journey into softening into our femininity. In our role as women, our journey is to just be who we are here to be. This involves the inward journey of Psyche. Going down into the Underworld and seeing our strength as women to move through the levels. Being ourselves, seeing that beauty exists within – it is not a physical implement to which we apply to our skin. This is Persephone’s secret that she shares with Psyche: our beauty as it is is our strength.

Trust

So much of this process is about trust. We must learn to trust our hearts. There are times where the lessons that need to be learned have pain and darkness attached to them. This does not mean that our hearts are wrong when they lead us in a direction that involves pain. Instead it is where we are blocked in love that we must learn a new way, a new perspective; a new way to soften within. Sometimes it is necessary for the wounds to be reopened for them to be healed.
Many men and women have been hurt by men who held power of us. This can cause us to shy away from trusting power. I know it is hard for me to let go of control in so many ways because of my past. Yet I am finding that not trusting is keeping me isolated. For me to grow, I must spread my wings. For keeping my arms clutched to my side or over my heart, I cannot fly. Instead, I would just sink like a rock if I were to jump.
So with each encounter and with each relationship, I learn a new lesson about others and about my strength. Opening my heart even when it is scary, even when it hurts, even when the hinges creak from lack of use, the door to my heart when it is opened allows me to experience a greater truth: my light is infinite.
We each have darkness that must be healed. We each have ways that we stand in our own lights, creating shadows that we believe are the truth of who we are. In trusting our hearts to go down into the darkness, just as Psyche does, we can learn a new truth. We are all truly loved. We are all truly supported. Sometimes the best way to see our light is in the darkness, just as with stars.

Feminine Tools: The Knife and the Lantern

In the story of Psyche and Eros, Psyche had two tools at her disposal: a knife and a lantern. Her sisters bade that she kill her lover with the knife. Instead, Psyche chose to look upon him after being pierced by one of his arrows, causing her to fall in love with him, as such she could not kill him. This is when hot oil from her lantern burns his skin.
As a woman this speaks to me clearly about discernment. Knives are tools that can be used to separate, to discern. They can be used as a tool as in the kitchen or in healing as in surgery. Knives can also be used as a weapon. As women, we have a choice of how we want to use our tools. Are our tongues sharp or are the words we use helpful to those we love?
The lantern offers the image of a soft light in the darkness. A woman’s light is of the moon, soft and shining in the dark sky. Yet when too sharp, too fixed, our light can also burn. Though we do not have the light of the sun, our lights can also inflict burns. This calls for discernment in the use of our tools.
As a mother, as a lover, I can choose how to use my tools. Sometimes regardless of how loving my intentions can be, others may find my light and words offending. I must discern what is right from my heart so that I can do my part in helping support others on their journey.

Femininity = Being

In observing couples, I repeatedly see the power struggles between couples. In general, one uses passive-aggressive techniques to control the other. I certainly remember playing that role with my ex when the relationship was disintegrating. In feeling weak in myself, I felt I needed to control him. Trust me, there were ways in which he also did the same to me. In our weakness, we tried to gain control over the other through different means.
Now I believe my role is to just be me in my fullest expression of femininity through softening more and more fully into my heart, into my truth. In allowing myself to be myself more and more fully, I empower and give permission to Him to be Himself more fully. Furthermore, the more I soften into my femininity, the more He can grow into the fullest expression of His Masculinity. There is a reciprocation of energy that has the potential to be infinite when well matched as described in “to My Etheric Lover.”

The Journey

While the masculine journey is an external one to prove one’s skills, the feminine journey is an internal one to accept one’s emotions. For our journeys to be complete, men and women alike must take the inner path. For too long, our society has drained the Divine Feminine of its true Valor while overemphasizing the masculine external journey. This prevents us from all from successfully being balanced and complete.
Image: Leonid Afremov