to my etheric Lover Part II (Erotica): unification

Part I

2015.10.15 for the best effect, listen to the song while reading… enjoy!

Your eyes call to me from across the way. I feel undressed by your gaze, vulnerable and trusting I can feel the thoughts you have, they need not pass as words across your lips. I can feel myself being drawn into you. Somehow, magically perhaps, the space between us is now gone. Before I know it, our lips meet softly parting, to allow the kiss of lovers to each. Your strong arms wrap around me, pulling me closer into you, closing out any distance that may have remained between us. I can feel your firm chest pressing into the soft flesh of my breasts. I release a sigh as I surrender headlong into the passion that has been building inside of me, nearing now a crescendo, since we first met.

More deeply, your tongue penetrates into my openness, searching and investigating all of the spaces within, as if searching my soul for all that you seek to understand about this existence. I reveal to you the mysteries that I hold within as our tongues meet, dancing joyfully together.

As we passionately kiss in our loving, and wanton embrace, you continue to remove the layers of your armor; a process you started before our first introduction. In so doing, you invite me to move closer and closer into your inner sanctum. In gratitude I receive your trust, a gift I cherish within each moment of its tender unfolding.

Undressing me now, physically, you slowly follow the unbuttoning of my blouse with a kiss, tasting all of the parts of me that are revealed as each button is released. Following this pattern, you kiss each part of me that is revealed as each article of clothing is removed. Naked now, I stand before you as you take me in with your eyes. I can see myself in your reflection, imagining how you are experiencing me at this moment based on the soft wonder of your eyes.

There’s only one problem now, while your armor is removed, you are still fully clothed! Moving into action, I slowly remove your clothes, kissing the exposed flesh with soft kisses, mixed with nibbles; my desire to devour you. Then I step back for just a moment to admire you in the golden campfire light. It reflects off of your exposed chest and face, creating a golden aura around your being. I step back into your embrace, tracing the fine lines of your masculinity with my delicate fingers. While our tongues meet in a lovely dance, we ever so slowly explore the contours of the other’s body.

What started as a small fire within each of us now joins together and courses wildly through our veins as you gently lower me to the soft moss-covered ground. The heat of our embrace keeps any chills away. I welcome the weight of your body pressing into me, another way in which I surrender to you on this starlit night.

Your large hands explore my body, playfully pulling and squeezing my nipples, causing me to arch my back into you as you kiss me more deeply. Then a soft smile plays across your lips as you lower your mouth to one and then the other, pulling gently on the nipple with your teeth while I squirm in pleasure beneath you.

When ready to explore further, you begin to kiss my belly, gently scratching the skin with your facial hair, tickling me and making me laugh. Still drunk from the sweet nectar of ecstasy, you begin parting the flesh of my womanhood with your fingers, exposing me further to your exploration, as you taste the sweet essence of my being. While you kiss and explore my velvety folds with your lips and your fingertips, I begin swirling and twirling as the waves of ecstasy pass through my body, climbing closer and closer to climax.

Gathering up all of the will I can, I gently push you away from me. I rise to my knees and ask you to stand before me. I kiss your strong, long thighs as I grasp your throbbing cock, moving it back and forth in my hand. Parting my lips, I begin to lick the tip, teasing you as I taste you with my tongue. Opening further, I move into you inch by inch, pressing you further into my open mouth. I hear you whisper my name in approval, while I continue to kneel before you, my King. The ecstasy is shared between us, as I feel pleasure in bringing you further into me; further into you.

This plays on until the point where we both can no longer deny our desire for a deeper union. I lie back down as you kneel now between my long, strong legs. You press your hard, firm manhood into me, parting my soft flesh and opening the gate into the silky smoothness of my warm, moist inner valley as you kiss me deeply.

Penetrating me inch by inch, you slowly press further and further into my being, pulling out nearly all the way each time to experience again and again the feeling of my softness surrendering to your hardness. I do my best to hold you in, but silk is not easy to grasp with. Feeling my desire for you to fill me completely, you begin to tease me further, not moving more than halfway in each time.

I cry out, begging for more. After several teasing ins and outs (and what seems like an eternity to me), in one smooth motion you give me all that you have got. A deep moan escapes my throat as I open further to accept all that you have offer. Together we move in the sweet dance of passion, the silence only broken by occasional moans of sweet ecstasy, or the sweet sounds of the night including the gentle popping of the firewood nearby.

Our eyes lock as we gain momentum, traveling towards the height of our ecstasy. It is here that we slow our pace, to allow us to savor this embrace, even if just a few moments more. You continue to thrust deeply into me, while I surrender more and more as each wave after building wave courses through us. Reaching for a higher limit, we press forward together, continuing to build the tension with each thrust in and out. I am the first to surrender, sending out a shock wave that ripples through my being, and tightening my muscles around you, setting off the unleashing of your seed within me. Our mouths open in soft moans as we kiss to seal the act of love between us.

Savoring the moment of our deepest surrender, you lower your body onto mine while staying inside as long as possible. You gaze into my eyes with a soft lovingness I have not seen before, while a smile of sweet satisfaction graces your lips.  Firelight dances across our faces as we smile from our hearts and souls, floating in the golden afterglow of our love-making. Yes, my lover, we are finally home.



a change in writing: Ode to the Fire Monkey

back in the autumn, my shifting was too out of focus.
i asked for an answer to change out of the chaos
of what felt like a SNAFU mess.
soon, my mornings started earlier.
a fire in my belly grew, releasing my need for so much sleep;
must be the fire monkey helped me take this leap.
sometimes i wonder, how long can this keep?

now my day start about 0400. what a change from just this fall.
it seems the clean, crispness of the day beckons me out of sleep
my mission: writing, scribing, bleeding words from my heart’s keep.
my Muse, loving yet demanding, fills my mind with His words to
pull me out of my sweet slumber; such is His seduction.
if i try to fall back into my dreams,
His words resound like thunder.
why do i even try? i then wonder.

no longer resisting (too much):
start the water for the coffee,
then light for Buddha
incense and candles,
preparing for the pre-writing meditation,
my salve, my potion, my kind of medication.
it prevents excessive motion of my mind to clear
the path so that i can easily write from my heart spaces.

today, there is a sharp pain in my left shoulder blade’s inside border.
a block in my heart energy, attention is in order.
water steaming, boiling, pour it in the press over the coffee grounds,
my mouth salivating, awaiting for the bliss.
while i check for any new notifications and messages.

push the plunger, pour the steamy, freshly pressed coffee
into my double-walled tall black coffee mug, it so reminds me of darth vader.
unsweetened vanilla almond milk is such a compliment, taking away a tad of the bitterness, but still best not to drink to the bottom;
or silty grounds i will find moving around
in my mouth, the opposite of sweet bliss.
now to close the lid and place it to the side.
it’s time for an etheric ride.

with seven rocks in my left hand,
listening to the beautiful music of the moola mantra*,
i begin the clearing of my chakras,
hearing the words of my Muse,
doing my best to not confuse
my need for meditation and
my need for remediation
in writing.

following my travels from earth, to water, to fire, to air, into the ethers x3,
i bring myself back to the balanced space of my heart.
now it’s time to sit down at the laptop and do my part.
where to begin? who is the writer tickledfancee or tiffanybeingfree?
which one most calls to me, beckoning me for my sweet attention.
sometimes there can be some apprehension.

my old alarm to let me know when to wake up, is now my
15-minute warning to wrap it the fuck up.

and oh, dear, it’s all very different when the children are here!
no sexshadows to play in today!

for this new way, this new way of being,
i give much gratitude to the fire monkey
His energy i must be breathing!



__/|\__ Metta

*Moola Mantra is a Love Song to the Divine Force; paying homage to both the Divinie Feminine and Masculine it is a powerful way to induce the creative force.

Sat Chit Ananda Parabrahma
Purushothama Paramatma
Sri Bhagavathi Sametha
Sri Bhagavathe Namaha



image: google




The Heart: To Love is to Breathe

When in the energy of love we feel light; we fly. We soar. Breathing can be effortless and pure. When the primal life force energy of Kundalini Shakti rises into the heart, it does so on wings of love. To afford our ascension into higher levels of consciousness, we need to open our hearts more and more fully into love. To love is to breathe. To breathe is to live.

Physically the heart pumps oxygen carrying blood to our tissues by balancing the pumping between lower to upper chambers. Similarly, the energetic element of the heart is air. Blood, love and air are required for life. Without blood, air, or love we die.

While our bodies may survive without love, on the inside we die; we fail to thrive. A living death. While we may not require the love of a lover to thrive, we must at least have love for ourselves.

Physically and energetically the heart is a vessel. When in balance, the heart carries the energy of love through feelings. Just as the heart pumps blood in and out of its chambers at an average resting rate of about 80 times per minute, we are not meant to hold onto our feelings. What we hold onto blocks us from love. This can be a great challenge to feel without holding on, or perhaps worse: blocking ourselves from feeling our feelings we block ourselves from love. 

What we choose to feel, we heal! “Feeling it” heals it by activating the heart. The language of the heart is feeling. When we block our feelings we block our healing.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
― Rumi

To open the vessel of our hearts to more love, it must be light as a feather; unburdened by shame, guilt, anger, sadness, etc. Through Alchemy, Meditation and Gratitude we can release our burdens.

In Ancient Egypt, Ma’at, the goddess of truth and justice, weighed the hearts of the dead against a solitary feather on the balance scales. Those whose hearts were light as a feather were granted access into the Kingdom of Osiris. Those who “failed” were immediately slain. Once again we see the association of the heart and love with air, flight/soaring (with the feather) and balance. Birds are often seen as messengers of love.

Anahata is the Sanskrit word that represents the heart chakra. It means unstruck, unbeaten, unhurt.

  • “I am that I am” – acceptance, compassion, love.
  • Emerald green 12-petaled Lotus flower
  • The central Merkab* demonstrates balance of the male and female energies and all four elements:
    • the divine feminine – downward facing triangle or chalice of Earth and water; the void
    • the divine masculine – upward facing triangle of fire and air, ascending to the Heavens
  • Sound is “Vong”

*The Merkab represents the vehicle for our Ascension. When we are balanced in our hearts and in the energy of love, we can fly on the wings of love into higher levels of consciousness.


When the heart is balanced, we breathe in love, we breathe in life. This supports us in the use of our voices (throat chakra), in our ability to speak and sing our truths. In so doing, we extend our love outwards to others. We can see the opposition of love is the use of our voices to harm or hurt others and ourselves.

When we are in our power at the level of the Solar Plexus, the fire of our passions rise up into the heart in the Ascension towards Heaven. When out of balance in our power, the fires do not produce enough heat to push the air of love upwards. Keeping us stuck, what misery.

So by breathing, by moving, and keeping the energy of our hearts and love flowing we can be balanced in our lives. This balance offers us the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven. By learning to release our burdens, we open the vessels of our hearts more fully, we gift ourselves flight.

The frequency of the energy of the heart is 528 Hz. Listening to music recorded at this frequency can help to open the heart more fully. YouTube has a vast collection.

HeartMath Institute has found that the heart has neural connections similar to the brain, allowing us to “think” separately from our hearts. They call this the heart-brain. There are more communication pathways moving upwards from the heart to the brain, than there are pathways moving downwards from the brain to the heart! Who is in charge?

Our hearts’ electromagnetic field is 60 times larger than the brain and this energy can be transferred from heart-to-heart.**

**From “The Energetic Heart is Unfolding

The Heart

This is the first in a series about the 7 major Chakras found in the body. Each area carries a different focus and being able to open more fully into each areas energy allows us to ascend into higher levels of consciousness.

Metta __/|\__

Featured Image from Google.

Heart Chakra graphic courtesy of Will at He does fantastic work, please check him out!

Funeral Pyre

Tonight I’m building a funeral pyre.
Tonight I am taking out the shell
of a person who once lived here.
Her time has long gone,
Her needs have expired.
Now it’s time to build a fire.

Her final release to the
Heavens will light
the land this night.

The sparks will shoot high
Into the night sky.
The heat & smoke escaping,
Carrying to the Gods above
Her pieces; once broken.

Leaving behind the ashes to
Reunite with the earth
From whence they came.
Tomorrow, reborn
Sweet balance,
restored again.


Image: Google

I’m doing my best to keep to 2 posts/day. Maybe it will be 2 long or 3 short at most…I have a serious backlog of work to publish. While I’ve turned down the fire, it still burns brightly and intently.

Sacred Geometry of the Divine Union

Geometry is one of my favorite subjects. As I move through this journey, I keep seeing images of the geometry behind the sacred, or Divine Union of the Divine Feminine & Masculine.

I will do my best to illustrate what I am growing to understand, this is my first attempt to explain this in such depth, even to myself. The mystery is unfolding before me and this is the most I understand at this time. As my understanding grows, I will be sure to share it!

In science the triangle shaped Delta denotes change, movement, this will be important in a few moments. For now, let’s look at the geometrical basics of the triangle. The triangle is comprised of 3 sides that can vary in length, where two lines meet is called a vertex and forms either a right or acute angle. To form a triangle, the three vertices equal 180 degrees.

Structurally, triangles form the most basic building structure. The triangle is a stronger structural shape than the square. Look at the ancient Egyptian pyramids, Mesopotamia’s Ziggurats and Mesoamerica’s Castillo’s and then compare their still standing structure against the “younger” square shaped Ancient Roman and Greek structures.

Separate Forces

Upward facing triangle is masculine
This triangle represents the rising force of Heaven, fire and air; I’d add that it’s also electricity. The energy of the Hunter, which is often represented by lightening in many ancient cultures. Furthering the query, his represents divine inspiration and the aspiration to perform and complete; to conquer & to spread his seed. His is the hero’s journey whose overarching purpose is to protect.

Downward facing triangle is feminine 
This triangle represents the force of Earth or gravity, and includes the elements earth and water. The energy of the Gatherer, she uses her magnetism to pull to her what she needs, just as the force of gravity is magnetic so is that of the divine feminine. Her chalice, or womb, is needed for manifestation. Hers is the void, the unseen, the keeper of the mysteries (think of the connection here to feminine cycles, gestation, childbirth and breastfeeding; all mysterious). Hers is the story of the mother with the overarching purpose to nurture.

Divine UnionDivine Union: Perfect Balance & Manifestation
When the two divine forces come together (sly grin), they form the Divine Union of manifestation & create a perfect balance. Each triangle needs to bring with in itself as much balance as possible for the union to have its greatest impact (hence all this GD alchemy and healing I keep blabbing about).

Together, the two triangles represent 360 degrees: A Perfect Circle. One can also trace the outline of the formed shape as infinity, or a twisted circle: the number 8.

The conjoined triangles are also found in the center of the heart chakra. Additionally, all four elements are joined together in the Divine Union through his fire & air, while she provides the materials for formation of life: water & earth. She supplies the womb or chalice while he provides the seed. He protects her and she nurtures him. It’s almost like it’s Divinity (oh, wait, that is what I’m talking about here).

Tiffany is speechless. Wait, what?
As I write, I’m in awe of so many pieces coming together at once. I don’t know what else to say at this point. I’m filled with the magic of self-discovery and awe that so much of this came through my varied experience, being able to see the big picture from within.

With the exception of checking the direction of the triangles and ensuring my memory of the degrees of a triangle (it’s been a while), everything else was from my vague understanding of sacred geometry and separately of the Divine Feminine & the Divine Masculine through personal study. However, most of this is from information I have begun to understand through meditations and daily living, and little whisperers. I’m not saying that what I’ve displayed here is correct, this is just my understanding. 

So, really Tiffany, what does all this mean?
Oh, yes, that. How could I forget?! The 3-Dimensional version of the Star of David is the Merkaba, the Divine Vehicle. This can assist in taking us to our fullest potential of self-actualization. So it’s kind of a BFD.

I believe that we are moving upwards as a planet and this may be why so many of us are letting go of our old, non-working relationships and seeking the twin flames for our Divine Union. Whew!

Please feel free to comment and make any corrections or your own correlations!

Cover graphics by Will @ He has some awesome work. Please check it out!

(C) 2016

Kosmogonic, this is what I was working on. Your post with the flower of life helped me to move it to this level.

Gaining Spiritual Strength

Strength can be defined in many ways. To train strength in the gym, most trainers recommend 8-12 repetitions of an activity. So one could define strength as being able to perform an activity multiple times. Strength can also apply to spirituality.

In becoming more spiritually aware over the past few years, I have found that the same lessons bubble up to the surface repeatedly. While some spiritual advisers would say that this is because I have not learned the lesson, and while I do take some stock in this, I also believe that it is to allow me to strengthen my spiritual muscles.

Another perspective I have on the repeating of lessons is that each lesson has many aspects that need to be seen from different facets. Just as a sun catcher or faceted crystal has many faces to it, catching and reflecting light in different directions, while also casting shadows, our core lessons are the same and show us different aspects of the lesson (as well as ourselves).

Regardless of the lessons we are here to learn, and regardless of how many times the same theme repeats itself, we become stronger in our truths with each flexing of our spiritual muscles. Walking through the shadows and being present with our feelings, our lessons and ourselves allows us to set ourselves free. The courage (spiritual strength) we have is reinforced with each shadow we walk through.

So keep on walking my friends, nothing can last forever. Grow your roots, feel your connection to the earth, then connect with your heart. Feel what you are feeling. Once you move through that shadow, you will experience a peace that is so delicate and sweet. The shadow shows you the path to the light (follow the white rabbit), go down the rabbit hole, that is where you can find your truth.

May we all be filled with the courage to look at our shadows, to discover the truth of our own inner lights.


Photo by Just2shutter at

How Perfectionism Blocks Happiness


To live is to experience life anew, to change,  to clean, to release that which no longer serves us.

It was an inocuous mistake.  One for which I would have tortured myself for days if I had let it.  In being given a spot to drop them off,  the young couple told me a bar name to help me to locate their final destination. So I dropped them off at the last named bar, the one nearby to the one they were going. It was an innocent and non-maleficent error on my part. One would think that I had lead them to death based on the heavy-handed guilt and shame with which I was continuously bombing myself in that hour of self-torture.

After deciding that I was tired of this state of self-loathing, I finally stopped to turn and face the source of my suffering. Following is the re-creation of my inner process to find the taproot to my self-hatred:

What, really, am I gaining from this?
Nothing but sadness, guilt and shame.

Where does this come from? 
Your desire to be perfect.

How has being perfect served me?
You thought it protected you. You have believed that it gave you validation and a free pass to happiness.

Where has this happened before?
It was then that a series of images flash-flooded my inner-vision.  I was floored and almost overwhelmed. 

It was then that I gave myself a healthy dose of love and compassion, opening my heart to myself, being sure to bestow love upon each previously unloved image of myself that spanned my entire lifetime up to that point.  Seeing now that the very thing that I sought to bring me happiness (perfection), was actually blocking me from it!

In recognizing that happiness, the very thing I sought, was being blocked by my pursuit of perfecting myself, I was able to pull that false-belief out of my garden all the way down to its roots.

Having done this work for several years now,  I am sure there are other vines of “perfection” in my garden.  By identifying this one vine, as it were, and seeing the truth of it helps me to be more easily able to identify the other vines that need to be pulled.


Photo Courtesy of marin @