REleasing during Mercury REtrograde

People have learned to fear Mercury REtrograde. This is a time when all things with communication and technology can go haywire. Recently, I even read an article about how explosive the topic has been this go ‘round on Twitter. I once feared Mercury REtrogrades myself and now I see them as an opportunity for growth and REnewal.

REtrogrades are a time of REflection, RElease and when the first two parts are allowed, REnewal. During this time, we are being pushed to look inwards and backwards at the things that no longer serve us. Our beliefs, thoughts, actions and habits are all on the witness stand, being thoroughly cross-examined. This can feel like death as it can wreak havoc in our lives, particularly when we fight the flow, as we are questioning many aspects of our lives.

When we understand that this is a time to throw away the rubbish that has been stinking up our lives and our minds, then we can see this as what it is: time to take out the trash! This can be literal, figurative or both. It is our choice.

Personally, I find that when I give permission for the things in my mind (particularly those parts that no longer serve me) to exist that they quickly dissolve. Then my physical life demands that I do the same. In the past 2 weeks I have deeply cleaned and cleared the clutter in my kitchen and living room. It feels truly REfreshing now to be at home in my own home.

I encourage each of us to embrace this time of REview/REflection, RElease and REnewal, instead of focusing on the havoc it seems to create. REtrograde CAN be an awesome opportunity, if we allow it.

Namaste

This morning, I burned a card that detailed the child support that my ex owes me. I release the need to worry about it. This or something better will come my way. Mercury REtrograde, for me today, equals RElease.

The Irony of Growth: Friction 

Friction and conflict can build our strength. Friction lights the match. Friction makes waves as the wind blows across the water. Friction gives us traction, allowing us to move forward. It is along this edge of conflict, of friction, that we grow. 

There exists a conflict when we choose to take a new vision or new path. We must leave our comfort zones and embark on a new adventure. Just as trees grow from their edges, we too grow when we push into a new aspect of life. 

This friction in life can push us into new ways of living, if we open our wings, if we open our sails. Or we can allow the friction to keep us stuck where we are. It requires each of us to have faith and believe in our own ability to change, to do something new, to open our wings and fly. 

There is fear that can crop up and keep us stuck. Or we can redirect the energy of fear and change it into excitement to give us the courage we need to take that leap, trusting that the air will support us.

Monday Motivation: Chasing Our Heroes

By chasing our heroes, we find new ways to push our growth edge. By continually moving out of our comfort zones, we make our best a reality, over and over again. 


Last night, a very good friend shared with me Matthew McConaughey’s Oscar acceptance speech. It blew me away! 

I hope you find it does the same for you. Today and every day, let’s find new ways to “chase our heroes!”


All of this Anger

This past week I have been chipping away bit by bit at a humongous block of anger and resentment. The posts I have written during this time have been realizations I have had as I’ve worked at chipping away. Yet, a good bit of the anger, resentment and even sadness still remained. So today I’m going to do my best to dive into the depths of this pain, to give it a voice and validation; to set myself free. 

Due to several events in my life, I have felt unappreciated, even depreciated. The resentment soon follows and builds fresh wounds that ooze instead of soothe. All this anger builds up inside and blocks my ability to sleep, to fully appreciate the flowers and the things that are going well. Now, it’s not all bad, as I do appreciate the good things more than I would have, say 2 months ago. However, in attempting to push away the anger and resentment, I also kept some (not all) more positive experiences and feelings away. 

So today I step back and look at what I’ve created. A shield instead of a coat of armor. By blocking the seemingly bad, I’m also blocking the things I want more of in my life. It numbs me and robs me of my right to more fully be me. 

Sinking into the layers of the pain, I allow the anger its voice; “just be,” I tell me. To get through, I remember to keep loving me; allowing the anger that is part (not all) of me to be. A physical wound doesn’t heal faster nor go away just because we want it to. It must be given its course, love and space emotional wounds will do what they need to do.

Once again I now emerge with a new sense of freedom and a new clarity of my voice. Just by allowing my feelings to be. 

Namaste 

Nostalgia’s Permission 

As my eyes lay closed this morning, my mind’s eye imagined lying in my bed back in the bedroom of my marital home. The image and especially the feelings of nostalgia that surfaced were almost immediately met with an excessively large dose of suppressive fire in an attempt to “knock out” this feeling. Instead of dying under the reign of bullets, the nostalgia bucked up in its own defense in an equal amount of resistance. 

When I recognized what I was doing, amazing considering my half-awakened state, I stopped the assault on my feelings and allowed them their natural course. Within less than a minute of getting out of my own way, the nostalgia disappeared. By allowing myself to feel what needed to be acknowledged, I set myself free to then choose differently. No longer fighting my own civil war by fighting my feelings, I can now choose to use my energy to move forward.  Now looking back, the winter holidays were filled with nostalgia that I met with painful responses to suppress. I chose to suffer instead of release…

Just as the arrow is drawn back with the bowstring prior to its release, if we can allow ourselves to move backwards into the feelings that come up, we find we are only there for a moment before we propel forward. So often we resist the backwards movement, thus we miss the next opportunity to advance. Be the arrow that springs forward. 

Namaste 

Kali Under Fire

It is said that Kali is the most misunderstood of the Hindu Deities as she is often mistakenly seen as the Goddess of Death.  While she is the “dark” aspect of the Primordial Mother Goddess Parvati, Kali’s domains are creation, destruction, rebirth, time & Shakti, or Divine Feminine Energy. She rides and is associated with the Lion, a symbol of courage. Other associations include the fire of transformation and blood. Kali’s association with blood – which is a carrier of energy and life sustaining oxygen – connects her to the mysteries of Life & Death. 

Kali is the slayer of demons and the Ego, but not men (despite the depiction in the main image). She is associated with cremation, which itself is a firey transformation. Though she carries the spirits of fallen warriors and slain animals, she does not kill them. Instead, She is the compassionate mother who loves Her children by slaying their demons and egos, or illusory selves. In this way, She brings freedom through the removal of Karma. Our station in life can cause us to have different perspectives of this Deity: Bringer of Death or Bringer of Freedom and Rebirth.


Her sword of knowledge separates the lies from the truth. For this reason, she can be seen as a bringer of Death to the parts of us that need to die. This can be intimidating and feel like a true death to those who do not wish for change. Kali can also be seen as incredibly compassionate for those whose Karma and ego are cleared by Her grace. By separating the lies from the truth, She grants us a new freedom that we did not have before. Through this freedom and release of Karma, we feel Her motherly compassion.

Additionally, “She consumes all things and denotes the act of tasting or enjoying what society regards as forbidden (i.e. Her indiscriminate enjoyment of all the world’s “flavors”).” This is why she is often depicted with her tongue sticking out. I love this aspect because I enjoy exploring many things that “society regards as forbidden.”


After being introduced to Kali through a recent Jungian dream analysis, I must say that I have fallen in love with Her. Her energy is very much a part of my own. With each post, I allow a part of myself to be brought to the altar to be altered. Writing and sharing my experiences frees me while helping others in seeing paths to greater levels of freedom. This is my passion and I’m seeing more clearly that this is also my purpose.

It’s fascinating to me to look back today and see how much Kali’s presence has been quietly infused into my life over the years. I smile to think back at the resistance I felt when Lord Shiva‘s influence first came into my conscious awareness. While Pavarti naturally came up at that time, I did not identify with her the way I do now  with Kali. Her name alone now brings a smile to my face, for I can better see the strength and courage within myself through Kali. I see now how frequently I write from her view, even with this last post where I describe breaking open to become more free in The Allowance of Grace. 

It’s interesting to note that I have attempted several times to connect to and write about the archetype that most represented my nurturing and mothering side. Now I see the Deity that I sought all along was in Kali, and now so many pieces have fallen easily into place.


Additional qualities and characteristics of Kali

  • She is the feminine energy or Shakti for Lord Shiva, creator and destroyer
  • Her mantra is “I am that I am. I am Spirit.” Parallels well with my own, “I am that I am Love.”
  • Kali lives in the Anahata (true heart) Chakra. 
  • The Kali Yantra has within it the fires of transformation
  • She is the “tough love” aspect of The Primordial Mother, guiding us into our greater potentials 

This following meditation very much has the energy of Kali; healing through letting go of what no longer serves, creating a new level of freedom through transformation. I hope you find the time and space to listen and follow this loving guided meditation.

Namaste.

Celebration Time

All work and no play makes for a dull life. Each day is filled with accomplishments that remain unrecognized. 

Tonight I’m celebrating a year of changes. Doing my best to focus on the good I’ve accomplished this year of being single, while letting go of the things that didn’t go so well. Endings precede beginnings… 

I’m far from perfect and it’s easy to focus on the imperfections…like in the pen and ink drawing above, my eyes are immediately drawn to where the pattern is rough, or the errant pencil marks left behind. Yet this is a habit that’s time has come to be broken. This year I’ve climbed mountains and conquered many fears, along the way I’ve shed many tears. Through my vulnerability, I have helped others to find their own power; both here and at work. No more will I ruin my day based on a few errant marks. The overall drawing  and the day are still beautiful…

What about your life can you celebrate today? Gratitude opens the heart that grief closes. 

Namaste