Growth Follows Grief

Grief is often seen as a roadblock to growth. More often than not, we get stuck in grief by pushing it away or sinking into it. The analogy I now see is that grief is like driving on loose sand; to struggle against it, we can get further trapped. To stop all together, we sink further into it. However, when allowed, grief can also bring forth a new level of growth. Just as with driving on loose sand, when we allow a gentle, steady movement, then we can keep going and grief becomes an engine for expansion. Driving on loose sand is also easier when we let some air out of our tires, another form of expansion, right?

What happens when people open their hearts? They get better.
Haruki Murakami

For several days now I’ve had a song stuck in my mind. The same lyrics haunting me at various times throughout the day. It is a song about loss, it seems an unrequited love after a woman’s death. The song also touches on incomplete grief, memories, and how the songwriter grasps at taking back control of his life through understanding the need to move through and past his grief.

I’ve attempted to block the song from my mind, have meditated on it, and finally just listened to it on repeat with lyrics and allowed the emotions to flow through. In allowing without pushing, without fretting over “why am I stuck here, again?” or without immersing myself into the feelings, they have moved through. Now I’m seeing where a new layer of understanding and growth has come through.

May we each allow the grief process to unfold, so that we may move into a new level of freedom. 

Namaste

P.S. Many life transitions can trigger the grief process and navigating through it can be difficult to do alone. Life coaches and counselors can help us with using tools to get ourselves unstuck. Please reach out, you are NOT alone; even though that’s often what it feels like. Find your strength through your vulnerability.

The Epiphany of Allowing

 

It is on this day that I met the elegant, beautiful and delicately strong lotus flower named Epiphany. She was captivating to watch as she morphed into different shapes and colors as her awareness of herself grew. She was open, she was vulnerable and she knew who she was. She could be anything that she wanted; by allowing it to be. In her presence, I felt light and airy, even as I sat upon a large, solid rock. 

We each have a calling within our hearts, our DNA. Yet we allow the external circumstances of our lives to dictate which path we will take. This is not love, this is fear. Because I fear being seen as crazy, I have continually hidden behind my fears. At times, when the words of my heart want to burst forth I hold them back constricting the neck muscles around my throat; choking out my own words. This hurts me and, worse, it serves no one.

The path away from fear and towards love is found in giving ourselves permission to be our true selves. It does not require me to change you, nor for me to require change within myself. By forcing or resisting changes we are not in a state of allowing.  

The most important lesson is having faith in the unseen. Seeds sprout out of sight. Just as the farmer plants the seed in the soil, he does not later pull up the soil to see what is happening. Instead, he waters and he trusts the seed to do its job. Allowing is having faith in the unknown and not deserting a vision just because it has “taken too long” to bear fruit.

Allowing begins on the inside and is developed through our inner feminine and masculine. This strength is symbolized by the lotus and the rock. The lotus does not ask permission to be beautiful, she just is. Out of the muck she rises and reaches for the sun. Once in the sun, she blooms and opens her petals, revealing herself openly; transparently. She represents feminine strength. The rock also serves its duty by being who he is, being present, solid and still. He represents masculine strength. We need both types of strength to make our way to the pinnacle of our own life’s purpose.

It is within our heart spaces that we strengthen our intuition, which is a combination of trusting and listening. The time has come for us to trust ourselves and to truly listen to what is being said; to see the truth beyond the physical by looking and living from within. It is here that we experience our truth more fully. It is here that we no longer feel burdened by fears.

All that we need to accomplish our missions can be found within. Through stillness, meditation, faith and visualization, we can access everything we need through allowing instead of resisting or forcing. It is by allowing and going within that we have the strongest connection with The Creator and we can complete our missions. Now just to give ourselves that permission.

Namaste

Images: Google & Calm

 

 

Strength of Character 

Strength of character isn’t built when the sun is shining, the sea is smooth and all is well. It’s built when your sails are torn, when the waves are high, when the rudder keeps slipping and when you’re still determined to give it your best. 

(C) 2017 Tiffany Cara

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