Forgiveness

When we hold onto anger against someone else we only hurt ourselves. The anger seeps into our daily interactions and causes more wounds. Often the hardest person to forgive is ourselves as we hold ourselves in contempt for wrongs done by ourselves and others. Forgiveness opens our hearts and frees us from the binds of anger. Forgiveness does not mean we condone. Instead, forgiveness is freedom. Even if for a moment, allowing ourselves to feel the grace of forgiveness gives us another degree of freedom.

(C) Tiffany Cara 2017

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Images: Google

Using the Imagination to Cope with Emotions

Her fingers shook as she raised the black clove cigarette to her cracked lips. The golden light as she lit the clove created a patchwork of dancing light and shadows, revealing deep wrinkles in the skin of her face.

Soon she began to speak as the smoke poured out from her lips in puffs. “I want to control everything. I do not trust anyone,” she said while her shoulders were drawn forward; bearing the burden of the world and caging her heart.

I understood her fears, I told her as we stood at the entrance to a dark cave. I listened, nodding my understanding as the words poured out of her mouth like acid. I understood deeply, as she was the personification of my anxiety.

After she finished speaking, I experienced a deeper calmness. I had allowed myself to hear, see and experience my anxiety, to where it released the need to gnaw at my gut.

To up the ante, I saw myself sending her love. After all, that’s all my anxiety ever really wanted; to be loved and accepted.

This method of using the imagination to have a conversation with our emotions is based on the book Inner Work: Using Active Imagination and Dreams for Personal Growth by the Jungian analyst Robert A. Johnson.

While Johnson uses more dream-like modes in his examples of active imagination, I find that this “personification method” tells me quite a bit. I gain a good deal of information based on what the emotions say, their demeanor and their appearance. By listening to them and also sharing my own perspective, I am able to regain a greater degree of peace.

This process is quite simple. While sitting in a supported position, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, then allow your imagination to take you inward. For some reason, I see myself outside of a cave and maybe another setting would work better for you. Once there, call forth an emotion that has been troubling you. You can name this person. Write down your conversation as it occurs; it helps to further the process. Following the conversation, give the emotion love or at least appreciation.

I’ve personally found this method more effective than riding the emotional wave that I’ve described here.  I hope that you find this helpful in your journey.

Namaste

Image: Pintrest, no credit given

 

Breaking Relationships

Tapestries frayed with time
don’t hold the same face
held in place
by pure will and strength
afraid to let go
the fear of the unknown:
who? who would replace?

non-severed ties
tug on strings
pulling back together
bumping into things
that smother
where flowers decay
and green shoots wither

it seems like
i’m stuck in “Groundhog’s Day”
where each cycle
leads to the same resolution
just a new revolution
of the clock
circling the same drain

how to break this
circling of caravans,
impending decay,
strings pulling on things,
unwoven tapestries?

Patching broken pieces
back together lovingly
with stitches thrown
from one’s own heart
relinquishing misplaced others,
Knowing another, someone better
indeed does exist.

Main image: google

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What We Resist, We Become

I didn’t want to be bitter

When Marriage vows dissolved

Yet that is exactly what I became

I hid it even from myself

Like a red tide, it was 

Just below the surface

And that is my shame

For this, I have no one

But myself to … blame.

Accepting responsibility for 
What I’ve created here,

I lift my new eyes to the horizon

Seeing all of life differently;

I can now choose from variety.

I am not my bitterness,

But I own that it is part of me.

The death grip it has had on me,

My emotions, and my nihilistic behaviors

Loosens. Icy tendrils may persist,

But my heart may once again feel its bliss.


Namaste

 

Writer’s Block: The Pursuit of Perfection


Words typically flow through my mind like a raging river. Recently, the flow stopped in a way it had never done before. I felt frozen, cold and isolated, as if in a shell. A shell, it turns out, I had imposed upon myself and reinforced.

Breathing through the stagnation, spending more time in meditation and “just writing” were not helping – my usual strategies. My frustration only grew; as did my tendency to catastrophize.

Usually I can walk away from writing if it’s not working. Now that I’ve stepped up my game and started writing a book, I’ve been putting more pressure on myself to produce.


I see how I was pushing against the very thing I desired. The more I pushed myself to write, the less I was able to produce. Much like trying to force yourself to go to sleep; it doesn’t work. Sleep, like creativity, just happens when we allow it to. 

In my pursuit of words, they just ran faster. I also see where I was blocking myself by wanting the words to flow perfectly. I froze and isolated myself with the pursuit of perfection.

Our faith is most tested in the darkness, when we cannot see the light.

Feeling stuck, I reached out to friends for help. I asked for them to see me writing in a warm, sunny and free way. Perhaps this was a lesson in surrender as much as it was in asking for help; something I am loathe to do.

The river’s flow has returned, but in a more subtle way. The words are there, but I must surrender further to hear them.

In taking a step back, I see where I do this in many areas of my life.  Pushing. Pulling. Pursuing perfection. Today, I am surrendering and trusting a little more deeply.

 

Namaste 

Keep Going

When in the shadows 

All can seem lost. 

Just as the sun rises,

There is light beyond the dark.

Keep stepping. 

Keep going.

Allow the dark to show you

Your courage,

Your strength,

Your truth.

For it is in the darkness

That we can learn the most. 

Namaste 

(C) 2017 Tiffany Cara

You Don’t See Me

You Don’t See Me,

because I hide my greatness in shadows.

I obscure your vision with

smoke & mirrors.

~~

I fear you

because I fear myself.

I fear my own love

for its power is infinite.

~~

So I block the road.

I stop the feeling,

just before it reaches 

critical mass.

~~

I turn away

from myself

from you

from responsibility

for this mess.

~~

Namaste 

Image: Pinterest