Insurrection: Rising Up

insurrection what was once affection now turns into aggression. what was or what I thought love was, is now just a face to shove in the mud. the half baked cake falls quickly when its support structure has thusly been removed. for twenty minutes or more, i flail on the floor. your words have cutContinue reading “Insurrection: Rising Up”

Last night I felt the cold, again

last night i felt the cold again it reminded me of how cold i felt in hot-assed August when i decided to ask for a divorce. usually preferring to sleep in the nude,  once his energy withdrew, all i could feel was cold at night, when not nude. the same happened to me overnight, the houseContinue reading “Last night I felt the cold, again”

Reblog: Wise Words not Followed

The following piece was read by one of my best friends at my wedding. Interesting that the words “drink not from one cup” went through my mind just the other day, sparking this memory. To read this post later meant it could not be ignored. Basically, the priest suggested that each of our mothers pourContinue reading “Reblog: Wise Words not Followed”

The Path of the Lotus

For the lotus to bloom It must overcome its fear Of the dark, Reaching in faith upwards towards the light. Fighting gravity, Fighting inertia, Trusting its growth is true While the murky waters keep it blind. Feeling all alone, One could easily give up, Never penetrating the darkness, Never basking in the glow of theContinue reading “The Path of the Lotus”

Missing the Funeral

Today they lay his body to its final rest. The second father, Of the man to which I was Connected for half my life. To have known such a man for so many years, To never to have seen so much as a tear. My heart goes out to his, his family His mother, too.Continue reading “Missing the Funeral”

Self-Blaming in Relationships

“Did I build this ship to wreck?” Florence + The Machine On many levels, I have blamed myself for the relationships that ¬†failed to root, blossom or thrive and thus dying on the vine. I was constantly playing the “what if game” with my perception of where it failed because of action or inaction onContinue reading “Self-Blaming in Relationships”

Attention Seeking Part I

It is unceremoniously and without much ado that I share with you my desire for having consistent and continuous male attention. On the surface the attention is physical. Yet it is my deeper desire to be desired by a man who finds me spiritually and intellectually attractive, not just sexually or physically. After feeling thatContinue reading “Attention Seeking Part I”

Divorce: Emotional Aftermath

I didn’t say yes to later say no. Now the dissolution has been finalized. Unresolved issues bubble to the surface. Gone is the promise of so many dreams. 16 years of marriage; 14 celebrated. Like water held in your hand; all escaped. Sleepless nights. Feeling all alone. No shoulder to cry on now. Hard toContinue reading “Divorce: Emotional Aftermath”

Relationships are our Teachers

Relationships reflect to us who we are on the inside. They show us so many things about our inner beliefs that we may or may not want to see. When a relationship ends, we often experience grief as a natural matter of course. While on one hand, we could allow ourselves to focus on theContinue reading “Relationships are our Teachers”

The Luckiest Fish

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a stroke of luck.” – The Dali Lama Even when for the best, there are times during the end of a relationship where former partners can have low points when feelings of rejection, depression, unworthiness and failure (to name a few) crop up. Separation and divorceContinue reading “The Luckiest Fish”

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