Vulnerability

‘Vulnerable’ is derived from the Latin word vulnerabilis  which means “to wound.” Wow! No wonder we so often avoid being or feeling vulnerable at all costs. Recently, it came to my attention that to be or feel vulnerable can feel like standing on the tracks in front of a freight train; to be vulnerable can feel like imminent death.

To avoid feeling vulnerable, I have tried to do control as much about myself, my environment and even others or situations. For instance, when out in public, when I can, I avoid sitting with my back to the door or anyone for that matter.

To trust is to feel vulnerable, so I do my best to avoid that, too. Yet, this keeps me from being where I want to be. It is my desire to be completely open and myself – unfiltered – to do so, I must step up, be vulnerable and step WAY out of my comfort zone! Ultimately, it is the willingness to be vulnerable that allows us to move into our greatness.

Interestingly, I’m writing this on the very day that the scheduled post, The Antidote to Fear which lead to my riding many tsunami waves of fear, most of which were labeled vulnerability. At times, I even fell – literally and figuratively – to my knees and asked for help from my Higher Power. This is something I talked about here, on YouTube. (this is my new project, Self-Care by Cara, and it’s still under construction. please don’t mind the dust and rough looking thumbnails lol)

I also recorded and uploaded this silly YouTube, something which was both fun to do and also made me feel rather vulnerable to share here!

Prayers for all to release the binds that hold us back.

Namaste

P.S. I wanted to create some fancy title for this post and somehow the single word vulnerability being there on it’s own is just the impact that is needed. For me, vulnerability can feel just like that: feeling all alone.

Being Vulnerable to Become Stronger

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Opening my heart, sharing my vulnerabilities and being 100% honest can feel much like being flayed alive. I hold the knife.

The muscles ’round my throat tighten their grip as I breathe only into my chest, which tightens as I reveal another aspect that scares me about myself. This is far worse than public speaking. I feel naked.

While I am at the helm, I am steering my vessel headlong into turbulent waters. My mind feels watery, thoughts melt before they can be solidified. I grasp for something solid in shifting sands. The thoughts that usually flow freely feel clogged in the drain. Going nowhere. Fast.

Breathe, I repeatedly tell myself. You know this. You live this. You’ve got this.

With each sharing of my truth, I build strength within my being. With each card laid on the table, my light shines brighter. With each fear that I slay by bringing it to the light, the more faith I have in myself.

The flesh no longer flayed, the muscles relaxed, the breath returned, the truth is told and the wound begins to heal. With each wound healed, I grow further into my authentic self. Complete. Whole until myself. Another muscle built.

May we all be free of the fears that hold us back from our greatest potential.

Namaste.

Photo by anankkml at freedigitalphotos.net

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