Balancing Affirmations for Unlocking Authenticity

For over 5 years I’ve had an on-again-off-again relationship with positive affirmations. The challenge I run into every time is that I feel immediate resistance to the new affirmation. The parts of me that reject the affirmation quickly rise up. Then within a day or so, all of the areas in my life that don’t meet that affirmation all bubble up (like poop in water) to the top. It can be a very unpleasant experience, that feels much like a very restrictive diet; making it very difficult to stick to for very long (if at all). Well, now I have learned a few more balanced approaches to affirmations that I’d like to share with you.

Over a year ago, my trusted life coach, Sam Allen of Peacock Poetry told me about a book whose title caused an immediate wave of resistance to rise up within me (you may be noticing a theme of resistance here). While I immediately put this book in the “to buy later” cart, I ignored it for at least a year until my curiosity got the best of me. Now half-way through the book, I’m recognizing why those “old ways” of positive affirmations didn’t work and it has been life changing. The book? The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford.

Debbie speaks to reclaiming our authenticity by seeing and accepting the parts of us which we have rejected or repressed. You may be surprised to see that these parts are not just our “bad” or negative parts, either. For instance, I fear being too happy or too joyful for very long!!! The affirmations help in embracing the parts of us that we repress, deny, reject, suppress, avoid, and so on (use whatever other words to describe what keeps us from being our authentic selves). These affirmations help to embrace those rejected pieces within.

Being authentic means embracing and accepting that ALL of our varied parts DO have a purpose: not just the light, shiny, happy, rainbow and unicorn-magical parts either. Each is us has had thoughts or behaviors we have deemed forbidden. Anger, for instance, consistently gets a bad rap. However, when used properly, anger is a fantastic tool for change and protection. Without anger, it would take a lot more effort to fuel things like a social change. Anger also helps us to defend ourselves when it is necessary (and when it is suppressed, we can become either passive-aggressive or explosive when we do express our need for self-protection).

What Debbie teaches is that each part of us has a purpose and when we accept that part of us is indeed purposeful and part of us, then we can use it as a tool as opposed to it ruling us behind-the-scenes!

Debbie also speaks to how we can uncover these hidden gems. It is quite simple to find, yet may be more challenging to redeem… We see these hidden gems in others, yes, we do. However, usually when we see these gems we generally either praise the person (because we don’t believe we have that trait) or we judge them (because we don’t want to believe we have that trait). After seeing the trait it is then up to us to work to embrace the trait. Yet, so many of us have learned to envy and/or hate others for expressing what we cannot or for showing us the parts of ourselves we do not wish to see.

So it is in seeing ourselves in others, in ourselves, and embracing those “undesired” or “desired” and repressed aspects that we begin to heal ourselves. Then we no longer need to “prove” ourselves differently than we are. We can then recognize that those “undesired” aspects can serve us in some way that then gives us control again, as opposed to spending all of our energy proving or repressing ourselves.

Here is an example. When I do not believe myself worthy, then I am continually chasing ahead to prove myself worthy. It’s a continual process of spinning in a hamster wheel. I may prove myself worthy today, but then I’ve got to prove it again tomorrow and so on. When I embrace that part of myself who feels unworthy, then I no longer carry that burden of being unworthy. Capiche?

Another example would be where I, just today, really wanted to write about this experience and yet found myself doing everything but writing. There was part of me that was highly resistant to writing. So I did a balancing affirmation where I allowed myself a mental temper tantrum of “I do not want to write.” Within minutes of affirming that I did not want to write, and allowing myself to not want to write, I was 200 words into this post with minimal effort.

Yet another example is where I recently found myself envious of another writer. I did not feel I could accomplish what she has accomplished. This envy is a sign that I was repressing an aspect of myself that is indeed there…

In the last two examples, I’ve shown how my dualistic mind that is holding me back. I’ve started to see this pattern both in myself and in others; this “push-pull.” So now when I start a new affirmation, I have also begun to immediately affirm the converse. For instance, “I want to write. I do not want to write.” This allows me to recognize and even affirm the divisiveness that I feel within. If things are going well internally and externally then there’s no reason to write an affirmation.

I hope you find this post supportive in your efforts to bring forth more of your authentic self. It’s amazingly freeing to see where we can affirm ourselves; supporting both the “dark” and the “light” aspects. After all, unconditional love moves beyond the duality of right and wrong, and sees the unity of ALL (unconditional means this includes the “dark stuff,” too).

May we each find greater peace, moving beyond duality, so that we can find the ultimate freedom and unity within: Agape. 


PS I spent more time resisting this piece than I spent editing and writing it… the “I don’t want to write” affirmation/acknowledgement freed me almost immediately after DAYS, almost weeks, of resistance.

Fading into Infinity

Under rocks

Hidden well

Sheltered from storms

Isolated in a shell

Finite existence

Personal hell.


Budding desires

Something new

Building fires

Clearing out

Impaling spires

Dying to live.


Breaching boundaries

Branching out

Building strength

Confidence renewed

Retreats bidden

From which she grew.


Accepting it all;

What she had to do

Crescendo of momentum

Then blowback from changes made

Old remains laying decayed

Fuel the internal fires

No longer contained

External expression

No longer implosion

Touching upon golden threads

Waking up the living dead.


Merging with The Myriad

The All

Imbued with bliss

Nothing can touch this

An open vessel

No longer lidded

Feels the infinite

Within it

A simple treasure

After clearing

Is given

Welcome it says,

You’re part of the




From Judgment to Compassion 

Over the past few months some things have come up in my life that show me how judgmental I am against myself. Friends and enemies can commit far worse “crimes” and I can pardon them. Yet the slightest mistake on my part and I’m flaying myself with mental barbs and hooks…for much longer than would ever be necessary for anyone else. This has been a painful lesson for me to see and it’s time to change another element of how I treat myself. Compassion is the answer to judgment, and will be my theme for 2017. 

Within judgment I feel there are elements of sadness and anger. Anger sears through my inner being when I throw hot coals at myself for my behaviors or thoughts. Then the sadness is seen in my belief that I am not a better person. There is also the grief that comes from the way I direct so much anger at myself. 

This self-treatment just holds me back from greater achievements. Beating myself down, there is no way to rise back up. There is also no escaping self-deprecating thoughts, so I have sought out reprieve in external addictive behaviors like texting, eating and watching TV. So while I’ve had more free-time the past few months I’ve been writing less. Writing is my release and I’ve been more challenged to write because of the creativity block that judgment created. I can stand it no longer. 

Finally, I am gifting to myself the salvation of compassion. Hell’s fires are now just smoldering lava trails in the calm, soothing waters of understanding. The murkiness & the confusion that past judgments wrought have begun to clear in the clean air of compassion. 

If anyone else in the world had done what I have done, they’d have been nurtured and set free of judgment by me. It’s now time to give these very gifts to myself, for the less I hold judgment against myself, frees others to love themselves a little bit more. A planet of people who have open hearts to themselves helps the world to be a greater place. So please join me in finding a new way to gift ourselves more grace.


Eris ~ The Trickster 

Eris is the Greek Goddess of deception and discord. She was the one who threw the golden apple inscribed with the words “for the fairest” between Athena, Aphrodite and Hera. According to mythology, this action was part of what lead to the Trojan War. Eris also represents one of the main archetypes, or Divine patterns, that I carry and the first I’m going to explore. While I generally do not enjoy creating conflicts on a large scale, I do quite enjoy other aspects of this trickster goddess. 

Eris comes out in me when I am in groups, particularly with friends both new and old. Usually I am the first to throw the golden apple, but the golden apple I throw is to break down boundaries. I’ll be one of the first to start telling boundary-pushing jokes, or taking my shirt off at a house party, or grabbing my breasts in public and throwing off the folk singer facing me (more details below). I then sit back and watch while I enjoy how far others ride the wave…or laugh as others squirm in their seats. 

Another role I quite enjoy and have learned to temper is that of Devil’s Advocate. When I feel someone is being closed-minded, I will present to him or her counterpoints, even when I may be in full agreement with his or her viewpoint. I quite enjoy watching someone’s paradigm shifting. It’s fun to see the lights turn on in new places.

Eris’ love for discord also seems to play a part in how I seem to be uncomfortable with the status quo. When the sun is shining, I look for the clouds. When the rain is pouring down, I look for the silver lining. Perhaps these are my ways of finding balance? Or perhaps it’s just another way that Eris shows up within me in the form of discord.

It has always been fun for me that my age is indeterminate for many. When I was a minor, I looked older, luckily I never got any sailors in trouble for that… Now that I’m 41, many believe I’m in my early thirties. It can be a blessed curse, as I find it difficult to judge the ages of others.

The other trickery I enjoy is acting and appearing innocent, then making perverse or lewd comments. Recently, while seated in front of center stage with friends at an Irish Pub, I grabbed my breasts and threw off the Scottish folk singer. This then started a “one upping” by several friends. What I started others finished. Naughtiness is a such sweet nectar for my inner Eris. 

I also feel this aspect is part of my creative side, as Eris enables me to look outside of the box for solutions. Her tenacity is the trait I carry when I view a patient’s issues as a unique riddle to solve. Perhaps Athena and Hera are also involved here. 

Then there’s the shape-shifting. This can sound bad, and depending on how far I take it, it can be. As an empath, I can pick up the energies of others. This can be a challenge with lovers, as I can often see their fantasies. This is great when it’s done in a healthy way, yet I must be careful to remain grounded in myself lest I try to become a lover’s living fantasy. It’s not my goal to be deceptive, as this can be dangerous for both of us. Yet the allure of acting out a lover’s fantasy can also be quite sweet.

Shape-shifting can be very useful professionally as it allows me to tolerate quite a bit of gruff from clients without it affecting me too much. Yet this also means that I must later find an outlet to discharge some of the pent up emotions. Shape-shifting allows me to act brave when I’m emotionally affected or even unsure. This is a very important part of any professional practice.

The darker aspects of Eris have been apparent in different times of my life. In middle school, I was one of the “mean girls” who pitted friend against friend. This taught me at an early age to avoid such conflicting roles. Now I use this aspect to help reveal to others their own inner conflicts.

More than I may have liked to admit before, I see how much I can enjoy a bit of discord. For to be too comfortable with the status quo can lead to stagnation. Without some degree of discord, we’d always choose to remain the same. As such, Eris has played an integral role in my path to freedom and living through a heart that is increasingly unfiltered. 

Yet I also find it a challenge at times to be at peace with myself. Always striving for more and for better can be exhausting; in this way, there is always another bridge to cross or peak to conquer. Ultimately, I believe that it is when I can fully accept myself that I will finally be home in my own skin, it is in being at peace with all of who I am that sets me free. Owning my own shadow means accepting this stereo’ed paradox. 

By virtue of Creation, and still more the Incarnation, nothing here below is profane for those who know how to see. ~Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Golden apple, anyone?

Image: google 

Our Deepest Fear is Our Greatness

According to psychoanalyst Carl Jung, it is easier to get someone’s skeletons out of the closet than it is to get the “gold out of the shadow.” At first glance this may seem counterintuitive. However in digging deeper into the book “Owning Your Own Shadow,” Robert Johnson gives the analogy of the ego (the persona: the parts of ourselves we choose to show others) as wearing clothing. To unveil our shadow, or the parts we wish to hide, would involve being naked and vulnerable. The shadow we try to mask hides society’s outliers on both ends of the spectrum: the gold and the darkness.

This quote by Marianne Williamson might help to illuminate the reasons and issues behind masking our greatness:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

The Birth of Duality & The Shadow

We play small when we fear our greatness because to accept the vastness that we are means that we must stand out. To fit into society as school-aged children we learned to suppress the yearnings of our soul. In this process, we divided our lives into what we could show and what we needed to keep hidden. Duality was born out of meeting the needs of society. For if we all acted out every whim, society would quickly become non-existent.

Shadow Accumulation 

The challenge with this superimposed duality is that due to society’s influence    “the light” is honored and “the dark” is suppressed within each one of us. The shadows then accumulate and can erupt if not given an outlet. 

To refuse the dark side of One’s nature is to store up or accumulate the darkness; this is later expressed as a black mood, psychosomatic illness, or … accidents… War, economic chaos and racial intolerance are the fall out of worshipping the light while refusing the dark. 

~Robert Johnson 

Counter-balance through Creative Expression

All systems seek balance. It is the conscious counterbalance of our ego that keeps us from erupting on others and from self-destructing. The arts help us to connect to that inner development through acts of quiet creation. 

The only alternative to torture is art. ~Bernard Shaw

Meditation, dream analysis, active imagination, and creative expression through: martial arts, dance, and fine arts all help us to connect to our shadows, the parts of us which we so vehemently deny: our inner gold and our shame. 

Shadow Projection

When we fail to take responsibility for our own shadows, we project those aspects onto others. This is true for both our greatness and our darkness. Just as mentioned in Romantic Love’s Faulty Mirror, we can project our Divinity or Greatness onto others just as we project our darkness. Outside of relationship, we often project our greatness onto our heroes, which is another way in which we fail to recognize ourselves. When we push our own greatness onto others, there is then no reason to own them ourselves. In this way, we fail to accept ourselves as whole beings. 

The Shadow is more genuine than the Ego

At some point the ego seems to take on a life of its own, believing it is the individual. As such the ego begins to act in its own defense. This defense is often fear-based. To keep us in fear, the Ego presides over the kingdom. How better to remain in control than to have the individual fear One’s greatness?

Synthesis through Compromise

When we hold the shadow in opposition to the ego we can become paralyzed or betray part of ourselves. Johnson suggests that when we feel these opposing forces pull on us that if we can take a moment and sit with both aspects that we can come to a synthesis that may be better than A) the ego or B) the shadow. 

Our Greatness is Our Fitness

When we hide the best parts of ourselves in fear of success, everyone loses. It is allowing our greatness to express itself that gives others permission to do the same. So truly, what is holding you back? 

Further Reading by Robert A. Johnson

  • Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche
  • Inner Work: Using Dreams and Active Imagination for Personal Growth

This is part of the Owning Your Own Shadow Series, based on the book by the same name by Robert Johnson. This series is an investigation into seeing and integrating all aspects within to recover inner peace. Only with loving ourselves can we be the change we wish to see in this world.

TED Talk “The Art of Being Yourself” by Caroline McHugh

Breaking Free of The Mind’s Prison

In psychology, the ego refers to the persona or image of who we we wish to be and to be seen by others. This mask becomes our prison when it takes on a life of its own and becomes self-preserving. The ego thus becomes driven by the fear of being discovered as not true. When tested, the ego can drive us to regrettable behaviors.

On a daily basis, the ego clothes and shields the shadow, the less desirable aspects of ourselves that we hide from ourselves and others. This is the ego’s purpose and it was created during the innocence of our youth when we were taught right from wrong. Without the ego, societies could not exist. So don’t beat yourself up for this, just understand that you are not your image.

In its self-preservation, the ego prevents us from rising above Duality. We see life as black and white when we live from this aspect of ourself. We are living life based on an image, an idea of who we are. Yet this image is only a small part of the truth.

When the ego and shadow are at odds with one another, we are given the opportunity for growth and transcendence. However, it takes valor to transcend duality as one must be willing to sit through the paradox of the shadow and the ego. When the contradictory and uncomfortable emotions within rise, and one is able to ride the wave it will crest and peak. This is the moment when the two edges, when allowed, become synthesized thus creating a new understanding, a new vision and a new freedom. In this moment, we transcend duality and we grow, seeing a new option that we didn’t see previously. 

Due to the ego’s stranglehold on reality discounting the other aspects of self, most of our egos do not allow us to sit through this transcending process until we have reached the proverbial “rock and hard place.” When we become frozen and the ego cannot find a solution, that is rhe very moment when we can most exact the greatest change. This is probably why so many of us must hit rock bottom before we rise up again. For if given the choice, the ego will choose self-preservation and the life of its own image.

Change rarely occurs when we are happy and riding high. 


This is part of the Owning Your Own Shadow Series, based on the book by the same name by Robert Johnson. This series is an investigation into seeing and integrating all aspects within to recover inner peace. Only with loving ourselves can we be the change we wish to see in this world.

Wisdom by Carl Jung

Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.

We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.

Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

There is no coming to consciousness without pain.

Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.

As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being.

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.

In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. (Ouch!)

A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them.

Related Reading:

Owning Your Own Shadow

Honoring the Virgin & Vixen Within

All systems seek balance including our inner and outer selves. We often become unbalanced when we suppress the expression of our hidden, or shadow, aspects. This suppression is learned during the process of being raised, as we are taught to deny parts of ourselves to fit into society. We cut ourselves off from our truest expression of self as a sacrifice for the safety of others (imagine society if everyone acted on every urge felt). However, the complete suppression of our shadows creates an imbalance in our lives until we choose to look within and honor these hidden aspects; even if only symbolically. This series will be about returning to a place of balance within by uncovering our hidden and at times golden facets.


Based on the work of Carl Jung, each person is a microcosm and thus represents each aspect of the macrocosm. Rumi reflects this in his quote, “You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.” In other words, each of us contains all aspects of the whole, we are NOT parts of the whole…instead we are whole. The reason each of us has a different persona (personality) with requisite shadows (hidden aspects), is that we each have the same archetypes (personality traits) yet in different proportions. 

To heal and become whole, it is imperative that we accept and allow each aspect of our personas and shadows to express themselves; even if only privately. As such, this does NOT necessarily mean that we act on each impulse. Instead, we can allow for the unique expression of our aspects through techniques such as active imagination, dreams, fantasy, and creative projects such as writing, painting, sculpting, dancing and acting. These are examples of how we can honor the aspects of ourselves that each need a voice and unique vehicle of expression.

Robert A. Johnson, psychologist and Jungian analyst, states that ego cannot tell the difference between fanstasies/dreams and reality. To the ego, all is reality. This reminds me of a conversation in The Matrix between Morpheus and Neo:

Morpheus: Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream, Neo? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world? 

Enter the Virgin (pun intentional)

Yesterday, in seeing my resistance to and desire to slow down and control the pace at which sex was being introduced into a new relationship, I saw where I have not honored the virgin aspect of myself. Today, I am sorting through ways that I can honor her. She is part of who I am regardless of how much I may want to be able to express myself as a vixen, without honoring the Virgin I cannot fully access the Vixen within.

There may be many reasons that the Virgin aspect is stronger for me than many of my same-aged counterparts. Years of sexual abuse, the “Church of Christ” influences in my household growing up (think Southern Baptist plus a standard deviation or two to the right), and even my birth sign of Virgo – which was named after the Virgin Mary whose birthday fell within the Virgo timeframe. 

I find that when I feel rushed into sex that my body is slow to respond and does what it can to block the process. It can be frustrating for me and now I see a path of potential healing. Now to find how I can honor this aspect of myself. For to continue to fight against her is not helpful. In general, the more I am pushed, just like a river, the more I push back; even and especially against myself. One cannot kick a tree without it kicking back. 


What aspects of yourself do you find you fight against? What are some ways that you can honor this part of yourself in healthy and non-harmful ways? The word holy reflects the wholeness (completedness) that we each wish to have, for it is in accepting ourselves completely and wholly (holy) that we regain access to our own happiness and inner peace. 

Pressing Deeper

In the book pictured below, Johnson speaks to the synthesis of our extremes to bring about the ability to rise above duality. It is, it seems to indicate, the path to enlightenment to allow each aspect of ourselves to exist – even if it means at the extremes. To disqualify any aspect of ourselves also disqualifies that aspect in others. We then project our judgments and insecurities outwardly onto others. Our lack of individual inner peace is then reflected in the collective. To heal the world, it is imperative that we become the change we wish to see. 


Balancing the Edges: Creation & Destruction

All systems seek balance including our inner and outer selves. We often become unbalanced when we suppress the expression of our hidden, or shadow, aspects. This suppression is learned during the process of being raised, as we are taught to deny parts of ourselves to fit into society. We cut ourselves off from our truest expression of self as a sacrifice for the safety of others (imagine society if everyone acted on every urge felt). However, the complete suppression of our shadows creates an imbalance in our lives until we choose to look within and honor these hidden aspects; even if only symbolically. This is the first in a series about returning to a place of balance within by uncovering our hidden and at times golden facets.

Once the match is struck, it creates a flame which results in its own destruction. To create is to destroy. While I have posted about this topic repeatedly, even this week with the Necessity of a Broken Heart, today I have a new perspective to share.

For a new wave to be formed, the old one must crash. To build a new house or road, the land must first be cleared. To create a new thought, we must destroy the old beliefs. To create a new life, we must allow the old life to die. The maiden must die before she becomes a wife. I could list different things all day that follow this cycle and the possibilities are endless, yet to create such a list would destroy the point of this post. (smiling).

We can see these examples of creation coupled with destruction in the external world when we allow ourselves the sight to do so. For instance, when we watch the news we see where the world seems to be caving in on itself. Yet, so few of us see within ourselves how this is merely a reflection of our own inner desires for destruction. When we can allow our inner world to balance these two halves – without shame or judgement – then we can begin to be whole and complete – finding the keys to our true inner peace.

A beautiful wave crests just prior to its destruction, yet the water flows back to the ocean to create a new wave. In the process of creating new shoreline, something else must be destroyed.
When we fight our dark urges we give them more strength to control us. However, when we allow ourselves without judgement to have dark and “negative” or culturally unacceptable feelings – instead of blocking them or acting them out – then we can free ourselves from this burden of right or wrong. Accepting that the path of creativity also means that we destroy something, even if only in our minds, or even if only symbolically, then we can free the edges of our psyche to co-exist and we can move beyond duality. Balance is then restored and we come to a place of peace, even if it is briefly held as if “on the head of a pin.”
Some creative ways that we can get our destructive fixes: meditate and walk through our “dark sides,” write a story where everyone dies, paint (destroy the canvas with acrylics), sculpt, Dream and even daydream. These activities diffuse the ticking time-bomb within: when we allow them to be as they are – keys of free expression of our dark sides – we free ourselves and become the whole we are meant to be.

Superheroes Needs Super Villains. The Movie ‘Unbreakable’ is a beautiful explanation of this need for balance.

When we block the destructive side of ourselves it just wells up within. Then we take it out on others through road rage, passive-aggressive behaviors, or maybe even directly abusing others. So much of the world makes sense now from this perspective. Look at all of the examples of “great real life heroes” who commit acts of atrocity.

From this vantage point, we can now see how great societies fell: when their destructive mechanisms outgrew their creative ones. I can now see how many serial killers were also sometimes model citizens. Ted Bundy, for instance, volunteered at a suicide hotline and talked people out of killing themselves. Yet had no problem brutally raping and murdering brunette college-aged women. Now I can understand my own fascination with war, war machines, and serial killers, of all things… This may be scratching the surface of BDSM as well.

This new awareness has shed so much light for me. I now see why I can be so patient and calm with clients and then short-tempered later. If someone cuts me off in traffic I thoroughly enjoy cussing like a sailor as it helps me to release that darker side of me. I have also seen how health care workers and other service providers have the darkest senses of humor. Yes, that absolutely includes me!

So often the greatest artists destroy themselves with their nihilism. To create so beautifully, there is a requisite balance of destruction that must occur. Not understanding this, many artists destroy themselves. Perhaps as more artists embrace their darkness, fewer will die from their self-destructive behaviors. Special thoughts to: Jim Morrison, Heath Ledger, River Phoenix, Jimi Hendrix, Janice Joplin, Van Gogh, Whitney Houston, Kurt Cobain. 
It is now my belief that mystery schools and societies understand this need for destruction. Many believe Masons are devil worshipers. I never understood this, especially since my grandfather was one. He was one of the kindest & most gregarious men in my life. Perhaps this is why there is so much secrecy about what Masons do: men acting out their need to destroy can be highly misconstrued by the passer-by.

Each of these examples is seeking balance. By telling off-color jokes, cussing at other drivers and, at least mentally, indulging in dark sexual fantasies, I am finding balance in my own ways. This also explains phenomena such as “preacher’s kids.” Now I can even understand why for the past two weeks my children have been acting out so much at school. I had been blocking many of my darker thoughts lately. Now to dive in and free my children from finding the balance I was unwilling to find within.

So please, allow your darkness to express itself within you or at least in ways that allow you to release without harming yourself or others. Finding creative ways to express the need to destroy is a way of creating a controlled burn instead of having wild fires sweep through your  life. As I continue to understand this concept better, I will write more. 

The light & darkness within me honor the light & darkness within you.

The Lady of the Water

Images: google

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