Gratitude Heals the Heavy Heart


Last night I was working through some past hurts by writing them out in a burn letter. I was having a challenge keeping my heart open for myself as I thought of the individuals with whom I was still holding grievances. In my mind I kept hearing one of my favorite sayings, “The open heart heals what grief closes.”

Gratitude can only open the heart. I knew this and yet it can be a sideways pill to swallow; to find gratitude when we are feeling our hurts. Yet this is where our strength and power lay, in our ability to change our perception and rise above something. So how could I climb that hill when my heart was laden with the heaviness of my hurts? I struggled to find the magical key to crack open the door to my heart.

After airing my grievances off and on for most of the day, pouring out my heart into the written pages of my journal, I simply wrote and felt the following phrase that freed and unlocked it all for me: Thank you for being you ______, so that I could be me. Once I recognized that these individuals were in my life to help me to find that my strength was within me all along, I was able to fly freely.


So please, find a way to air your grievances. Get the yuck out and then find a way to see it all in a different way. What about that situation or relationship allowed you to grow? What can you be grateful for?

Here’s another one that comes up when a potential beau exists stage-right, “Thank you for saving me the trouble of dating you.”

Our freedom from our own suffering is within our grasp. We always have the power to choose to see life differently. 



Images: Google

Gratitude Changes Everything

It was Monday morning and my household had a severe case of the Mundays (See the movie Office Space for the full reference, caution: it will make you laugh). For most of the morning there was much bickering and it reached a peak on the way to the bus stop. It began to shift when I clearly remember thinking that what we were doing was not working. Then we turned a corner, both literally and figuratively.

The rays from the rising sun streamed through the fence boards as I was filled with the inspiration to share with my children the things about them for which I was grateful. Following my lead, we each began to heartfully thank one another instead of bickering. I wish I could remember the words we each spoke that morning (it feels so long ago). Truthfully, the words did not really matter; it was the feeling of the words that mattered most: gratitude.

That night and the next morning, I continued to share my gratitude with my children for their behaviors; things shifted even more. My 9 year old daughter noticed that the dishwasher was filled with clean dishes and she began to put the clean dishes away. She also packed her lunch without my imploring her to. I was astounded and a warm smile spread across my face and heart. Of course I shared with her that I was grateful for her help. I may have even held back a few tears.

In feeling appreciated, my daughter went above and beyond what I expected of her and she did the things that I usually have to nag her to do in the morning, without my need to do so. It’s amazing how much such a small token of appreciation can do! Her brother may need a little more time to catch on, however, we get what we pay attention to. So now I will turn on more gratitude for when he does well and helps us get out the door on time.

I will add that this gratitude shift did start a bit ago when, instead of asking my children about their days, I began to ask them what they were grateful for that day. There have also been other times where, when they were bickering, I interrupted the arguments by asking each of them to state things they were grateful for about the other sibling. When they each heard that they were appreciated for being themselves, they opened their hearts to love instead of closing them in lack, fear and anger.

Gratitude opens the heart. The more open the heart is to love, the more we can find things for which we are grateful.


The most amazing part of this was that last night when picking up my children my daughter shared that she purposefully left their tablet at their father’s house that morning because she enjoyed being tablet-free the last time they were over. They will not have the tablet again for another 5 days, when they return to their father’s home. For me, that was a parenting win! There is SO much strife over the tablet. To hear both of my kids say that they enjoyed last week without the tablet made my heart grow 3 sizes. I shared with them that my heart was smiling and very grateful!



Grateful to be Alive

As I pause and wait for the security doors to open, I am grateful to be going to the gym in the pre-dawn hours this day. I hold the hot tall flat white, the liquid heat warming my hands on this cool morning. I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful to be able to stand here today, ready to enter the gym when the doors to the building finally open and allow me in.

All this work I’ve been posting about and living the last two weeks has brought me to a turning point in my life. Where shadows were once predominate, light now sifts through. Where once I sought refuge from myself, now I begin to feel the sanctity within my own flesh. I am grateful to The Universe (that includes God), to be here in this very spot today.

Yet, at times I still struggle. I am learning to accept on a deeper level that this struggle is part of life, to some degree. With each boulder that is cleared, there are new obstacles and debris to clear.

For instance, just Wednesday, I had a profound awakening experience. We were running late that day, so my “pushing” was in full effect. You know, when you’re  driving behind someone who is going too slow for you (like the speed limit minus 10), and you cannot pass. While I don’t tailgate, my mind is racing and wishing he would pick his pacing the eff up. 

Well, I was trapped behind this guy down the lengthening road through the neighborhood – kids were already on the bus, and he was doing 15 mph! Ugh. So my inner quiet voice says to me, “Tiffany, you’re pushing. Everything is going to be okay.” I started to slow down my inner pace, as I could do nothing to get through to the green light any faster.

By that point, the light had been green for some time and I knew it would be yellow soon. A steady flow of cars passed through the intersection and I knew the guy in front of me was going to take it slow. A significant gap formed between him and the car in front of him. I gritted my teeth.

Then it happened. Just before I reached the white line, a white F250 sped across the intersection from the right. This is the least visible part of the intersection, as a privacy fence lines right up with the sidewalk. If that slow driver (Note: I’ve dropped the explicatives) had not been in front of me, that F250 would have planted his grille into my side. Not just the side of my Jeep, but the left side of my soft, compared to Detroit Steele, body.  The front doors are off of my Jeep. This guy would have ruined a good bit of my day when he T-boned me and my son at speed. Not the way to make new friends. While I’d love to meet a firefighter, but not that way.

Instead, of making new friends, I slammed on the brakes as the light turned yellow, while safely outside of the intersection. Slow guy, he made it down the road just fine. I was immediately grateful for his slow ride. And now, maybe, just maybe, I’ll listen better to that voice inside.

While I had several challenging cases that day, I was grateful I could be there to help decrease the suffering of my clients… I could have been someone else’s case that day.  So that day and everyday, I am grateful to be healthy and alive. Join me, the water is just fine!

Peace & Namaste

Beautiful day

This is a great start of the day song, especially when things don’t seem to be going your way. It reminds us to focus on what we do have in our lives that opens us to a new day. 🌹❤️☀️

Image: tiffanybeingfree


Milady (in Gratitude)~ Guest Post

“Milady” (In Gratitude)

Thank you Milady,
For helping me unlock my heart.
I had locked it up in fear and fright
afraid to feel, to even move,
afraid to lose what I didn’t have
But mostly afraid I didn’t have what it took to fight
To win back the love I had lost, my wife.
You have inspired me to take on the fight of my life
To win her heart again
When the darkness had come again
And despair was overwhelming
You were placed in my path,
to shine a light behind the façade
I presented to the world
You shone your light high,
Revealing the rocky path you are traveling,
Baring your soul, your heartache, unimaginable despair
Pain and suffering
Most importantly
Your fierce will, your courage
and your desire to live
I thank God for you!
We are all but single candles
Burning in the night
Together we burn braver, brighter, stronger
So I say simply,
Thank you, Thank you Milady,
I pray your light always burns bright!
❤ Ken


This is a guest post by my friend, Ken. He has been very supportive of my work here on & off WP. When we met, I hesitantly gave him the address to this blog. I’m grateful that I did, as it has helped him to see his own light and to take up the fight to save his marriage.

Ken, thank you so much for this! This came to me at a time when I needed it the most. You are part of why I didn’t take this site completely down…yes, I almost did! And yes, I do believe you need your own blog! You can do it! 


image: Google



Gratitude: Another Tool for Healing

Last week, a lot of strong and raw emotions were coming up for me. Mostly, I felt it in my physical body. Nausea, tension in my belly, a gnawing sense in my stomach – nothing made sense. It felt like part of me was dying; I believe it was, I can only guess.

I did my alchemy, I did my heart meditations. While the symptoms improved, some, I was still balancing on a high wire between being functional and an emotional breakdown.

Finally, sitting in a moment of quiet in my otherwise busy day, I heard from within, “gratitude.” I immediately began to thank the pain, even though I know not what it was, other than pieces of me that I needed to integrate. The Lion was now a Lamb. No longer armor, it was part of my softness.

Just part of the process of learning. Some things need different techniques than others.

Gratitude opens the heart and allows love to heal the parts we don’t want to feel. This can be a tough sideways pill to swallow; to be grateful for pain. Yet it can be incredibly freeing.

May we be free of the suffering that keeps us from being our truest & greatest selves. May we find gratitude for the pain; the balm that heals the  very wound is gratitude. 


Image credit

Much Gratitude & Exciting Changes to the Site

Today marks a benchmark of 100 followers for tiffanybeingfree. I’m super excited, at the end of 2015, the number was closer to 50. Thank you all so much for being part of this journey. I hope I’ve given you something you can grow, or at least chew upon!

I was going to wait to announce site changes until I was done with the-categorization, but this being a cause for celebration, am letting the cat out of the bag…Over the last month, I’ve been working on some level to create massive changes to my site classification/taxonomy and layout.

While it’s still a work in progress, I’ve completed the Lion’s share of the work…some categories were eliminated and this has left many pieces unclassified. So check it out

I hope you enjoy the new look, feel and ease of navigation of the site!
Have a great day! Whether working or playing.

A few words about Karma and Gratitude

gerberdaisiesKarma is the idea of cause and effect. It seems to follow along the same lines as “The Law of Attraction.” Basically, the energy we send out into the world in the form of ideas, thoughts or actions, returns to us in a similar manner later in life (or future lifetimes if you believe in reincarnation).

However, it seems to me that most references in popular culture about Karma are negative. I often see and hear, “Karma will get you” type references, which seem to be far more prevalent than positive references to Karma, in general.

In attending a lecture by a local Buddhist nun this past weekend, I was reminded that Karma is often more positive than negative. She pointed out to attendees that there are many overlooked positive aspects of our lives that are attributable to Karma, just as much as the negative ones are. Paraphrasing, she stated that “everything good in your life is from your positive Karma.” She encouraged us to have more gratitude for our Karma, particularly the parts we liked.

After speaking with her, I have begun to pay more attention to how much I do take the “good” in my life for granted. Even with a daily gratitude journal and the habit of giving gratitude for the positive aspects of my life as I live it throughout my day, I often forget that there is so much positive in my life. (if you are struggling with this idea right now in your own life, then I encourage you to pick up and read the BBC or other international newspaper for a few minutes.)

In the lecture, we were also reminded that we get more of what we focus on.  So the more we focus on what is wrong in our lives, the more we create “negative” Karma. The more we focus on the positive aspects of our lives and give gratitude for it, we create more “positive” Karma. To me, Karma sounds more and more like the “Law of Attraction,” with the more I write and think about it.

My new practice is to write down 5 unique things for which I am grateful in my gratitude journal every morning. This practice has replaced my nightly gratitude journal which would be a page that reflected about 95% of what I said I was grateful for the previous night (it was my goal each night to fill a page of gratitude). I needed this at first, because at first gratitude was a struggle for me. Now I’m looking for unique things each morning to record (I still express gratitude throughout my day). These are just two examples of ways to record gratitude.

I encourage you to find a way to journal your own gratitude in whatever way works best for you. Gratitude is important as it is a great way to open your heart to more compassion both for yourself and others, as well as a great way to focus more on what you like in your life, so that you may have more of it to enjoy.

So gain more positive Karma points and attract more of what you want in life: be grateful!

Karma, when properly understood, is just the mechanics through which consciousness manifests. –Deepak Chopra


Thank you, in reflection


“The killer in me is the killer in you.  Send this smile over to you.”

-William “Billy” Corgan 

Thank you for:

being you, so that I can be me.

the sparkle in your eyes that illuminates the fire in mine.

the dirt on your face so that I can see the smudges when I look upon my reflection.

the pain that you have endured, so that I can learn the most to thrive from my own.

the joy in your heart, to light the joy in mine.

your homelessness, so that I can experience where I have felt overlooked, abandoned and alone.

your palatial estate, so that I can see all of the places where I live in abundance.

“Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.”

– Somni-451 Cloud Atlas

Thank you for:

your smile, so that I can see my own.

lighting your own trail, so that I can light my own.

being a warrior, so I can pick up my sword and fight my fights.

your beauty and sensuousness, so that I can experience my own inner Goddess.

following your intuition, so that I can hear and follow my own.

your outrage and foolishness, so that I can better seek out mine.

loving yourself, so that I can learn to love my-self.

“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”

-Mahatma Gandhi

So in return, my dearest loves, I:

look closely at my shadow instead of turning away, so that you may face yours without fear in your heart.

love myself more deeply, to light the spark to your own self-love.

walk in courage across hot coals, the anger I have held against myself, to help you to forgive your own trespasses.

run free, so that you can find that which frees your heart.

light the torch of my truth, to help you to find the spark of your own voice.

learn to trust myself, to help you to find your confidence.

learn to swim through my emotions, to allow you to keep afloat in yours.

Thank you, my dear for being you, so that I can be me.


Photo courtesy of Mister GC @

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